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205 Public Reviews Given
205 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Seventh Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Iva,

I've just had a read of your story titled "The Seventh Day" which was listed on the auto rewards page. My overall impression of this narrative is this:

An interesting, but deep, thought-provoking piece. For the most part of this tale, the reader is led to believe that the main character here has an addiction problem with alcohol and as a result lives a lonely destitute life in the middle of nowhere, bereft of family and friends. He lost his job somewhere along the line (which is not unusual, esp in cases where an addiction takes full control of it's victim's life. The victim loses all focus and lives just to feed their addiction).

What I don't get is how he managed to get where he is. Is he in the middle of the dessert. The ending bit of the tale provides a new twist and the reader is left wondering, where is this 'hell'? Is the main character actually resident in some sort of rehab centre, is undergoing a detox program and therefore has no real sense of time, place and events?

Questions, questions, questions...

Nonetheless, an interesting piece and thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tim,

I've just had a read of your poem titled "Rigorous Luck – The Big Hook in Bowling" and here are my overall impressions:

A well written piece that compare the emotion love to the game of bowling and yet, further down the poem, the reader is introduced to philosophical concepts of luck and ability and wonders which is superior to the other. I think, like any other sphere in life, it is a mixture of both. Sometimes ability is born from sheer hard work and success can be from a combination of hard work and luck.

Nonetheless, an interesting and thought provoking poem. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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3
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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Ann,

This is such a heart wrenching poem, laden with emotion. War is always painful as there will forever be losers at both ends, irrespective of who is perceived to hold the upper or 'moral' ground.

Innocent lives caught in the middle, players who are mere pawns of the big political shot-gun's decisions and families of lost ones always bear the brunt of the after effects of war.

A well written and sorrowful piece. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A beautiful poem dedicated to the poet's wife?

Rich with meaning, this is a deep thought provoking poem that pays homage to lovers and their partners. Well written with no grammatical or syntax errors. The language used is simple and enticing with a lot of hidden meanings.

Thanks for sharing and well done!

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review of Stay Now  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Dan,

I'm back for another review of your poem.

I find this poem titled "Stay Now" to be quite fascinating. What was the narrator / poet waiting for all through the seasons? The return of a loved one?

The ending was tragic though and begs the question: What did he die from? A broken heart perhaps? What was so significant about the winter and the premonition?

Overall impression: A well written piece. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review of Stories  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Dan,

I found your poem titled "Stories" on the auto reward page and here are my thoughts:

This is a deep, thought provoking and emotional piece of poetry. Death, even when expected is never easy, especially when the departing or departed is a loved one. Grief sets in and all we can do is sit and wait for time to extend its healing hands on us.

My Overall impressions: A well written piece devoid of any technical difficulties. No grammatical or syntax errors found.

Thanks for sharing and well done!

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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7
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Review of The Book  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Dan,

I found this poem of yours "The Book" on the auto rewards page.

What can I say? The narration in the poem is so true. There comes a time when every writer or poet gets the dreaded writer's block and looks to their surrounding environs for inspiration.

The description of the moonlight and starry night is very beautiful and vivid and the content of the poem is as real life as it can get.

My overall impression: A well written piece devoid of any syntax or grammatical errors with good technical content. The poet has a clear, distinct voice that could be felt throughout the poem.

Thanks for sharing and well done.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review of Tough Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tim Chiu,

I've just had a read of your poem titled: "Tough love" and here are my thoughts on it:

A well written poem incorporating clear, easy to understand language to convey it's meaning. It's hard being the recipient of tough love, especially if you're a child. The world will seem unfair to you at that time, but if this discipline is applied with compassion and consistency, with clear goals and I daresay the odd reward, it is bound to help shape the child into becoming an emotionally strong adult who appreciated the value of hard work and achievement.

An interesting poem. Well done and thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review of Without a Sound  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Livv,

I've just had a read of your poem titled "Without a Sound" on the Request A Review page and here are my opinions:

First Impressions: A very likeable piece of poetry. It's written in clear, easy to understand language and I think it has a lot of potential.

Areas for improvement: The theme is fascinating in itself but I think a lot more could be done in terms of incorporating a bit more depth. If you're going to write about people's perception of what the sun was in ancient times, then it should go beyond how they saw it on a bright, sunny, summer's day.

~ What about on a rainy / cloudy day? What impressions did people hold of the sun then? Did they think the sun disappearing behind the darkened clouds was a sign of the gods' displeasure with them?

~ What about other previously unexplainable scientific occurrences like eclipses? What did the people think caused them? What were their perceptions of the sun on those rare occasions?

~ Relevance to day-to-day living: You might want to include a stanza about some sort of sun dance or worshipping that people must have indulged in, in those days too.

That aside, I think you're on to something good here. Thanks for sharing and well done!

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Paige,

I found this poem of yours - Love Given Is Life Taken - on the Request a Review page and here is my opinion:

It'll be hard to miss the emotional depth of this piece of poetry that recalls the poet's hurt and heartbreak all in the name of love. Love in itself is an enigma. Do we really choose who we fall in love with? Or does love choose whom we fall in love with? Who is actually in control? We humans or that turbulent emotion called love?

My favourite lines:
" Then I must be the happiest on earth,
because it kills me everyday"

Well done and thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review of Goals  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jeffery,

I've just got to give it to you, give credit where it's due and this write up of yours is... TOPS!

Yes. It's so rare to find eloquent writers who not only express their thoughts perfectly and pass on their message by getting straight to the point with no waffles! But what tips the scales here for me are the words of wisdom in each and every one of your articles / pieces I've read so far. I AM A FAN!!

Seriously, this is full of life's lessons. Important ones at that. I really am learning a lot here. My best pieces here are:..." If you have no goals, you spend all your time running around during the day, passing out at night, and well... Dribbling"

and:

"...There was a study done of Harvard graduates over a 20 year period. They found that only 3% of the graduating class had specific goals that they had written down, looked at daily, and committed to memory.
20 years later, this 3% group with their written down goals had a net worth greater than all the other 97% combined that did not write their goals down. We were created to function best and be our happiest when our journey in life has goals. Studies have shown that people that have only the single goal of feeding a pet and petting it, live several years longer than those with no goals at all..." (though I prefer the analogy of the Havard graduates compared to the pet owner - but yes, I get the message)

Excellent piece again.

Only thing I'll say by way of criticism is: Paragraphing. You do need to incorporate some textual spacing to improve readability for your readers. But that aside, well done!

Cheers
Mimizz.

P.S: Oh, and 300 GPs for you! (smirk...smirk) *Smile*


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jeffrey,

I'm back for another review of your work.

Having read one of your write-ups "Bamboo and Life", I was really intrigued and inspired to read up more of your works. I've never been a fan of non-fiction but I felt after that experience, "Wow! If this writer could breathe so much life into a genre of writing I've always found quite boring, and have read only on a need-to-know basis, i.e exams, etc...then I sure want to know what else he's written!"

And I wasn't disappointed. I found this write up of yours very informative and actually it opened my eyes or shall I say, it's given me a bit more awareness about reviews. As a writer, one needs to have a fair, honest, assessment and critique of their work - that's the only way then can get better and hope to improve. Afterall, no one's perfect.

Anyway, I was all up and ready to give you another 5 star for this - until I saw your dig about gift points and five-star reviews from reviewers. I think that was a bit harsh and unnecessary (my opinion). Nevertheless, for some constructive criticism:


~ Content: Very good and informative.

~ Language: Simple, easy-to-understand, clear, unambiguous language and mode of expression used here. The reader is left in no doubt about the message being relayed.

~ Technicality: No syntax or grammatical errors found.

~ Presentation: You might want to incorporate some paragraphs and line spacing to improve readability. A bit of spacing and paragraphing will help this write up look less of one big block of text. That way, you can be sure to hold the readers attention.

Overall, a well written piece. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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13
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Kikinaynay

I've just had a read of your story, "A little can take you a long way" and here's my opinion: I think it's an interesting fantasy tale which reminded me a lot of the popular children's story: Jack and the BeanStalk.

This story is written in simple, easy to understand language which should appeal immensely to children and adults who love children's stories. The story has an interesting plot which holds the reader's attention with interesting plots.

However I did find some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes which you might want to correct:

~ donut - Change to doughnut

~ "when he figured out *** the small Maryland city had just opened..." - include the missing word "that" in the sentence so you have:

("when he figured out that the small Maryland city had just opened..."

~ "After buying the seeds, I walked over to my father’s restaurant, and followed the directions for planting a donut tree. And my heart was beating as if it was a drum." - You need to make your sentences tighter in such a way you that you pull the reader in on what you say. Make them experience what you felt while planting the doughnut seeds. Here's a suggestion:

("Having bought the seeds, I walked over to my father's restaurant and with a pounding heart, followed the direction on the packet for planting the doughnut tree.")

You'll notice I didn't include the phrase "beating like a drum" because it is redundant, moreso as it is assumed by the reader that the narrator's heart would be beating like one anyway. I think this is where you have more "show" and less "tell". Let your readers exercise their brains and work things out for themselves. Most would rather do that anyway, than be told everything. Not easy I know, and I too am still grappling with that concept! *Smile*

~ "One morning, my father went to work early and I went with him to surprise him with the donut tree."

Give us some indication of how much time elapsed since the narrator planted the magical doughnut tree. Was it the next morning? A few days later? Next season perhaps? Also, include the words "as" or "when" before the word "father" to give:

("A few days later, when/after my father had left early for work, I went over to his shop to surprise him with the doughnut tree..." )
or
("The next morning as my father was getting ready to leave early for work, ...")

"My father was getting a lot of attention just because of the donut tree!" - You've got the phrase "My father" repeated twice within close proximity of each other. replace that phrase with the word "he" to avoid repetition, and delete the word "just" so you have:

("He was getting a lot of attention because of the doughnut tree!")

~ "They treated my dad with respect like a lion (by the way that is his favorite animal)"

The sentence reads a bit bulky. You might want to try tightening it up with something like: "My dad was accorded with so much respect, just like the lion he favoured ..." or something similar.

~ "celebrities came *** all over the world just to *** my father’s doughnut tree..." - insert the missing word "from" and "see" between "came" / "all" and "to" / ""my" so it reads:

("celebrities came from all over the world just to my father’s donut tree...")

~ Change "maryland" to "Maryland" (proper nouns should be denoted with capital letters)

~ "Business was great for a long time,people were actually buying my father’s donuts" - try reducing the use of adverbs / "ly" words that don't add to the context of your prose. Also remove the comma and replace with the word "as" to give:

("Business was great for a long time as people were keen to buy my father’s doughnuts...")

~ "But after 2 years or fame and fortune people were ready for a new flavor." - remove the digit "2" and replace with the word "two". Not sure what you intended but I think it might be better if you replace the word "or" with "of" or introduce the phrase "two or more years..." in your sentence, to give:

("But after two years of fame and fortune, people were ready for a new flavour.") or ("But after two or more years of fame and fortune, people were ready for a new flavour.")

Again, same thing with the digits:

11 more donut seeds - eleven more doughnut seeds

1 year - one year

10 years - ten years

And 30 years of - and thirty years of

"and said “a little can take you a long way. - place a comma after the word "said" and replace the letter "a" with "A" to denote the start of the speaker's speech. Include a closing speech mark to denote the end of the spoken sentence, to give:

("and said, “A little can take you a long way.")

Hope this helps.


Cheers,
Mimizz.


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is such a beautiful poem.

It's captivating and the reader is pulled in with the poet as they are taken on a trip down memory lane. I do wonder though, is the poet old and frail and on his / her death bed. I found the bit about their lost love a bit emotional, but then again, death always is.

An inspiring piece. Thanks for sharing.


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting, captivating piece of writing.

The first person point of view narrative works well in this piece. I am curious though, what village is this and during which war time era?

Technically speaking, this is a good piece as there were hardly any grammatical errors.

Well done!


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Review of This day...  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting and thought provoking piece of poetry.

I do wonder though, what pain the poet is referring to here. Is it emotional pain from rejection, heartbreak or from unreciprocated love? Or is it actual physical pain?

Nevertheless, it is a captivating piece.

Thanks for sharing.

Mimizz.


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Another interesting, comical piece of writing.

It's easy to understand the narrator's frustration with so many words being mis-pronounced by his uncles! His decision to switch from Medicine to Engineering reflects this but it's hard not to see the funny side of this!

Well done and thanks for sharing.


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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an intriguing, thought provoking piece!

As an intro, this promises to be quite an interesting adventure tale which I most certainly would look forward to reading. Your use of language is superb as it's evident from your write up and is almost poetic in it's descriptive nature of what adventure really should be, as opposed to what we think it to be, based on the restrictive views of others. Technically speaking, your write up is faultless as I couldn't find any grammatical or syntax errors. Your command of words is top-notch.

Having said that, reading up on one's adventures is very different, when compared to living it. I think I prefer the former! (lol).

Can't wait to read the rest of your work.

Well done!


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Review of Loving Grief (4)  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just had a read of your bio. So these are all true stories.

Once more, my condolences on the loss of your baby son Bennett. May the good lord help you find the inner strength to continue.

You do have a gift with words and expressing yourself very well in your writing. You outpour a lot of emotions in your pieces and this one is no exception. Well done for such a beautifully written story. I only wish the circumstances had been different.

Once more, thanks for sharing and do keep strong.


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20
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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I honestly don't know what to say, or the right words to use to express how I've felt reading through this piece.

This I'm sure has just got to be a real story. Did this happen to you? The way you tell it, the different turbulent emotions the character went through, her heartfelt loss at losing her baby just a few hours after giving birth to him...it's just too much.

Real or not, I can't stop myself from empathising with her. And that cremation - it's just so final. I personally feel that burying the child in a coffin might be easier? Or maybe I speak from a different cultural perspective. Cremation just seems so final.

This really is a sad, sad, story but powerful too.

Thanks for sharing. And if this really is a true story, then my condolences and lots of hugs to you. Keep strong.


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Review of The Cramps (2)  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
So it was a premature labour with complications *Sad*

This is a heart-wrenching story of the medical doctors and mother's fight to stop a premature labour, in order to save the life of her unborn baby. This story is so well written it's easy to empathise with the writer on her loss. I'm assuming this is a true story?

Again, technically speaking, the writing is faultless as I found no grammatical errors. Well done.


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22
22
Review of The Collapse (1)  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an intriguing, captivating and suspense-filled piece of writing.

What happened to her son? Why is he on life support? How old was he when the accident(?) happened?

This is such a well written story, I felt compelled to read it to the end in search for answers while doing so.


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23
Review of Evil wind  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting, thought provoking poem about evil and how it manifests itself in man, which could be by his thoughts or what lays within his heart.

A well written piece that is technically faultless as I found no grammatical errors. The language used was concise and straight to the point.

Well Done.


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24
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Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I must confess, this is my first time (ever) of coming across a politically inclined poem.

One cannot fail to notice the undertones of patriotism in the poet's writing. A well written piece that balances the good and not so good aspect of the country. But then again, is there any country on earth that is 100% perfect and faultless?

An interesting, thought provoking and well written piece of work.

Well done.


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25
25
Review of Back to Work  Open in new Window.
Review by Mimizz Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
My word!

So many words used in describing the feeling of going back to work? You make it sound almost tempting! (Lol!)

Interesting concept and a rich use of words for describing what most people (I think), might feel is a mundane activity, or a necessary evil / means to an end - a.k.a. work!

It would be interesting if you could create a similar poem describing going Back To School, too.

Well done.

Cheers,
Mimizz.


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