They're American characters, who watch British television, on an Italian vacation, and they have German pet names? The characters are worldly, I'll grant you that, but it seems like extraneous details that aren't adding much of anything to a story of this length.
In addition, Fred seems to capitulate awfully quickly to his wife's desires. You explain why, but it happens completely out of the blue without any inciting moment. Maybe show Fred watching the documentary on Victoria. Maybe allude to it beforehand. Maybe have him mull over the decision before just outwardly announcing they are on the boat together.
A wonderful, vividly described, slow-burn of an Age Progression TG story. Nate's transformation into Natalie is descriptive and engaging. The chapters are short, punchy, and always move the story forwards. It's genuinely arousing without turning into smut. And best of all, it's realistic. Natalie is no sexpot or nymphomaniac, but an honest to goodness woman (at least I assume so; the picture link is dead). The eroticism is 100% in the transformation, not cheap sex. This is a story for TG fans, by a real TG fan, and I cannot encourage it enough.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/missmarym
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:44am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
