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1
1
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi The StoryMaster Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "My Eulogy For Grandpa" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
Firstly, what it more difficult than listening to the eulogy of someone you loved – it would be actually writing it. Not an easy task

*ButterflyG* What I Liked Best:
Two things stuck out to me:
1) You took on the responsibility to speak about your grandfather with the hope of doing it to the best of your ability and honoring him with truth and love.
2) This sentence: “I remember when I was younger, he used to say "these will all be yours one day"; not being the most adept with tools myself, I was always quick to point out that I was in no rush to own them ... or for him to go.” This was so honest, you felt this was out of your league but most touching was having these things would mean only one thing – that he would no longer be with you and that was not something you wanted to think about even less experience. I know that feeling and I thank you for being able to express it so well.

*ButterflyR* Suggestions:
I copied this in word in order to see it in a larger font and came across a few typos that MS Word luckily points out, but nothing so major I would have to point out one by one. You did well writing this homage to your grandfather.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
You loved your grandfather and felt his loss greatly, but the one thing that will remain of him (at least for me) is that he did not shy away from a challenge, in fact he seemed to actively seek them out. Fearless comes to mind. If you have some of that in you…then you’re good. Perhaps that bit of inheritance moved you (unknowingly) to start your own company, which was a stepping stone for WDC. Thank you

Write On!!!!!


*BalloonP*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*BalloonB*
2
2
Review of Writing.Com 101  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi The StoryMistress Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
My first impression was that this piece was concise and delivered advice in a manner that was easy to understand.

*ButterflyG* What I Liked Best:
I’m all about lists and then explanations, so definitely the presentation of the message was appreciated.

*ButterflyR* Suggestions:
I have none really. I think it was well-rounded and especially for a newbie to the site this would be helpful.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
My overall impression is a positive one. I think reviewing (in my humble opinion) is one of the best ways to meet people and make friends and most likely this can only happen when a review encompasses many of the traits you recommended.

Write On!!!!!


*BalloonP*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*BalloonB*
3
3
Review of A Mortal Memoir  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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}This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi April Desiree-I'm back! Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "A Mortal Memoir" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
What weirdo would dig someone up? It was so macabre to think about and yet I read.

*ButterflyG* What I Liked Best:
This was a very short story, yet it was packed with a monologue, if you will, of emotions. There was so much need to get to the corpse. I didn't understand it, but I did feel it (if that makes any sense)

*ButterflyR* Suggestions:
This was well written and well edited so I have no suggestions in those areas. I, however, don't feel grounded in what I read. Was it simply a dark piece about a necromancer or something less sordid and much deeper?

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
My overall impression if that after reading this story twice, I believe it's about finding yourself again and trying to work on you. Time has not run out and so a lasting thought about this story is hope.

Write On!!!!!


*BalloonP*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*BalloonB*
4
4
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "One Busy Night in Chicago" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
My first impression of this story was a Humphrey Bogart type in a seedy office and in walks a beautiful damsel in distress. I was not disappointed.

*ButterflyG* What I Liked Best:

This story really took you a place like in a black and white movie. The tension and suspense grew with the story. The voice of the main character was true to form even with the sexist references to the "dame". I particularly appreciated the humor that was interjected into the piece with the joke about the podiatrist (I don't want to give things away for a potential reader), it really made me laugh.

*ButterflyR* Suggestions:
My one suggestions would be to do a re-edit. It think after a while we don't see the small mistakes and so it's best to go back after a while - that's when we catch them. While I thought that the language was good, there were some areas where less is more, for example: "If you don't mind me saying so, you look kind of out of your element here." I think it would be best said: "If you don't mind me saying so, look out of your element here". I think it smooths out the dialogue and doesn't have the reader reading the sentence again. Just my opinion.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
Overall, I enjoyed this story and could see myself reading more about the main character. I think I am doing a little transference as I have always liked Humphrey Bogart*BigSmile*

Write On!!!!!


*BalloonP*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*BalloonB*
5
5
Review of Remember  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Daniels Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Remember" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
Mae wakes to what she knows is going to be a dreadful day, which gets increasingly worse with every step she takes. Then, an unexpected gifts takes her back to a time, reminding her of how lucky she is.

*ButterflyG* What I Liked Best:
This was a touching story and one with a message of awareness. So often we get caught up in the minutia of everyday life and never truly appreciating the totality of it. Luckily for Mae, an expected gift of red roses makes her realize that even with a million things to do and the throbbing pain of a stumped toe, she is and has what she always wanted - a loving family.

Was the overwhelming urge to cry from the pain of falling or the pain in her heart?
This was my favorite sentence, because it was so real and I identified with this completely. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish between the emotional and physical pain, either way one helps the other to be released through crying.*Thumbsup*

*ButterflyR* Suggestions:
I really have nothing to add that could make this story any better than what it is. I felt connected with this character, the writing was clean and crisp, and there were no spelling or grammatical errors.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
A great story that could make anyone reader take pause and appreciate the life we have.

Write On!!!!!


*BalloonP*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*BalloonB*
and
*UmbrellaB*SHOWERING ACTS OF JOY*UmbrellaP*
6
6
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Shannon Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Per Nonno, Con Amore" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
A young man travels across the world and through time, to visit and recapture his grandfather's hometown.

*ButterflyG* Suggestions:
None! This was a great story and the use of Italian did not interrupt my reading. *Thumbsup*

*ButterflyR* What I liked best:
The descriptions of the town were superb. I felt like I was there with Tony. You also packed quite a punch with the second half of the story. What was meant as a thoughtful gift turned into a nightmare, which was completely unexpected. I do wonder about his grandfather's reaction to what he saw on the video. I can imagine the sights were scary and troubling, but considering the dark past of Bergamo, did Tony's grandfather play some small role in it before moving to America? And, Mr. Biachi - did he know this would happen? All great things to think about - a sign of a good story.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
An excellent read, which brought the picture prompt to life and wove an interesting tale around it.

Write On!!!!!


*Balloonp*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*Balloonb*
7
7
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Coffeebean Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Annie and the Calliope" Open in new Window.


*Music2* First Impression:
Jim purchases an old calliope, hopeful that it's beautiful music will attract customers and their money.

*Music2* Suggestions:
This was a well edited piece. I found no grammatical or spelling errors. My one suggestion would be regarding your word count. I think that although the poem at the beginning was a nice touch, it was not an integral part of the direction you took with the story. Perhaps omitting this along with the title you would only have exceeded the word maximum by nine words.

*Music2* What I Liked Best:
For a 500 word (plus a little bit more) story, you were able to set up a good plot and provide very vivid descriptions throughout this piece. My favorite sentence:

The calliope’s prominent metal whistles, standing upright like shiny copper towers gleamed in the morning sun, reflecting the images of circus scenes, animals and human faces carved in the polished wooden surfaces.

This sentence truly brought the image of this beautiful yet mysterious instrument to life for me (in more ways than one *Smile*

*Music2* Overall Impression:
This was a great story incorporating both prompts for the contest. I loved the ending and the way the curse manifested. A little over the word limit? Perhaps, but I don't think so much so that this story should be disqualified.


Write On!!!!!
8
8
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi brandakay, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "The Faded Passport" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
A girl comes across her grandmother's passport. Never used but symbolic of her desire to someday travel to be with the man she loved.

*ButterflyG* Suggestions:
I came across no errors in this story. I do, however, wonder why the main character was never given a name. The overall impression of the story may not have changed, but it does allow for the reader to form more of an attachment to the characters in the story.

*ButterflyR* What I liked best:
I most enjoyed the premise of the main character's knowledge of who her grandmother was. As a child, the main character knew one dimension of her grandmother, but after her grandmother's passing, she learned of her grandmother in a more adult light. Although her grandmother had passed, the main character was able to understand the true meaning of the passport her grandmother never used.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
An interesting story of relationships and how they can still develop even after death.

Write On!!!!!


*Balloonp*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*Balloonb*
9
9
Review of Final Checkout  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Casper is broken Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Final Checkout" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
Ann thought she was on the vacation of a lifetime, but things take a turn for the worse. Before long Ann realizes that all is not what it appears to be.

*ButterflyG* Suggestions:
Just a few minor things I would like to point out, please use what is helpful and discard the rest.

His shirt had caught upon the kitchen racks which had left him hanging in the air with his feet firmly placed on the ground, as if he were still alive. I suggest placing a comma before "which" and deleting "had" allowing for a smoother flow to the sentence, which would read: "His shirt caught upon the kitchen racks, which left him hanging in the air with his feet firmly placed on ... still alive."

They had thought they had won a dream vacation in paradise but only to late realized it was hell. I suggest the same for this sentence, by deleting the first "had" in the sentence cutting down on the amount of past participles in that one phrase; "to" should be "too".

They had all been treated to a dinner fit for a king, or in her case a queen. For more succinctness, you could just say: "That had all been treated to a dinner fit for royalty."

Which she now realized had been the fattening before the feast. Which she now knew had been drugged. Both sentences start with the same phrase "which she now", and are very close to each other in the story. I suggest for the sake of redundancy, to try rephrasing the second sentence.

The room had a sickening smell but she found she was growing used to it. The smell had filled her nostrils for the last several hours and she wasn't sure if she would ever be rid of it. The second sentence sort of cancels out what was said in the first. I suggest revising and saying instead: "The room had a sickening smell, filling her nostrils for the last several hours. Although she was growing used to it, she wasn't sure if she would ever be rid of it."

At least they would have no interest in eating him, since he was so old that his meat would be too tough, or that's what she'd overheard one of them saying anyway. I would suggest putting a period after "too tough" and starting a new sentence by saying: "At least that's what she'd .... anyway."


*ButterflyR* What I liked best:
This story was gory and true to it's warning*Thumbsup**Thumbsup*. A few things to note:

The gory scene nearly caused Ann to vomit but she held it down. After all, it wasn't the first time she had seen death today. I liked her visceral reaction to what was before her and the second sentence was a small hint of what transpired before Ann had plunged a knife in a man's chest.

With a nauseating, bone-scrapping sound, the cleaver tore out of the man's chest. I cringed at this sentence, just imagining the actual sound.

Her only option left had been to kill or be killed. Okay, after reading this, my curiosity was surely peaked. What was going on?

Clark glanced back at her again and smiled, "Now dear. You know you can't speak with that gag in your mouth. Don't worry, we'll be home soon, and then we can all eat." I loved this sentence. It really left the reader hanging, wondering what was reality and what was imagination. No matter how you slice it, Ann had done some serious damage.

establishment I noted the constant use of "establishment" in the story, but after reading through the entire work I think it works great, adding some ambiguity as to what was exactly going on.


*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
A story that took many unexpected turns, ultimately leaving the reader at a crossroads of what to believe.

Write On!!!!!


*Balloonp*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*Balloonb*
10
10
Review of The Question  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Casper is broken Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "The Question" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
Tonight is the night when he will make his move. Timing it just right will allow him to finally get what he wants from his temptress.

*ButterflyG* Suggestions:
Just two minor things to point out, but nothing that distracted from the story itself.

He caught a glimpse of himself in his black slacks, black, long-sleeve shirt and black tennis shoes, as he passed through the sliding glass doors. The comma between "black" and "long-sleeve" should be deleted.

Five O'clock finally rolled around "O'clock" should be with a lowercase "o".

Other that, this was well edited.*Thumbsup**Thumbsup*

*ButterflyR* What I liked best:
You had some great descriptive lines.
He had drowned long ago, in the depths of her ocean blue eyes.

Today, the day he would finally know the answer, she had worn for him a little black dress that fit her tightly above her waist and loosely reached short of her knees. This was really telling in how he believed that many of her actions were for him. Great insight into his pathology.

You created great suspense, that had me breathing just a little faster, as he was finally able to make his move. And what a move it was. Loved the ending, it really had a twist.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
A deceptively intriguing story with an ending that caught this reader off guard. Once it hit me - what he really wanted - I just laughed with relief.

Write On!!!!!


*Balloonp*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*Balloonb*
11
11
Review of Childhood  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi WistyOne Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Childhood" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
An acrostic poem is where the first letter of each line spells a word.

*ButterflyG* Suggestions:
Although each line of the poem spells a word, I don't think it's necessary that that word be used as the title - as the writer opted for another title. One thing to point out is that in the description, acrostic is misspelled with two c's.

*ButterflyR* What I liked best:
I enjoyed that the writer was able to capture some of the wonders of childhood so well in this poem. Very well done are the questions placed in each line of the things that bring wonder to a child's mind.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
A well executed acrostic that brought back memories of my childhood.

Write On!!!!!


*Balloonp*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*Balloonb*
12
12
Review of Blind Date  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Jeff Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Blind Date" Open in new Window. in honor of your *Balloon3**Balloon4*WDC Anniversary *Balloon1**Balloon2*

*ButterflyB* First Impression:
A man goes on the perfect date, only to be pulled from his fantasy to find himself in nightmare.

*ButterflyG* Suggestions:
I found that the capitalization of the words in bold to be a bit intrusive. Perhaps just having them in bold would have been sufficient. Of course, I am not sure if this was a requirement for a contest. If so, please disregard.

When the story shifted from Rachel to Rhonda, I was thrown a little off course. At first I wondered if an error was made with the names. I suggest finding a more subtle way of introducing Rhonda into the story, as I was not sure what was going on until the end.

*ButterflyR* What I liked best:
I think you did an excellent job at writing a story around the many word prompts, a lot of which were quite uncommon. Your incorporation iof them was seamlessly done *Thumbsup**Thumbsup*.

*ButterflyV* Overall Impression:
Once I was able to understand the sequence of what was taking place, I felt for the poor guy. I think you really captured the daunting aspects of a blind date.


Write On!!!!!

*Balloonp*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*Balloonb*
13
13
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


*Note1* First Impression:
What started out as a story of abuse, went one step further to something completely unexpected.*ThumbsUp**ThumbsUp*

*Note3* Creativity:
You gave life to the unfortunate nightmare Alex and his mother had to endure. The descriptions of the beatings and verbal abuse allowed this reader's mind to visit the world of Alex and his mother. Even Mark was given more shape then just that of his clenched fists. The use of his name, hinted that he was not Alex's father. And the gun, was Mark enough of a monster to have used it on Alex and his mother some day?

*Note4* Technicality/Grammar/Spelling:
Perfect. Taking the time to properly edit a story shows great respect the writer has for what is presented.

*Note2* Overall Impression:
So the ending got me, but what got me more was my own reaction to what Alex did. I didn't think about the fact that he had just taken an innocent life, but that Mark would get his comeuppance. Now, while this may say something about me, I think it says so much more of how the writer made me care for the plight of Alex and his mother and that he would do what he could to protect her. Maybe not the best way, but it still got me.

I give this *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*


Write On!!!!!


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14
14
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


*Note1* First Impression:
A conversation between brothers, no different than any other night. Only tonight Isaak is called out for being nothing more than what a big brother should be.

*Note3* Creativity:
This was a simple, short story that had good dialogue and a keen way of pointing out that Isaak was the older brother. First, the use of "big" words like sweltering and modest and defining them for his younger brother,Jayden. Then there was another hint to his age in comparison to Jayden, he smoked.

*Note4* Technicality/Grammar/Spelling:
I found nothing wrong. Well edited, with good flow between the dialogue.

*Note2* Overall Impression:
Who cannot love a story when a big brother protects his little brother. The last sentence: Something to be proud of touched my heart. This story is indeed something to be proud of, you captured the love and pain of a family in just 300 words.

I give this *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Write On!!!!!


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15
15
Review of Albert  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


*Note1* First Impression:
I must say I liked that this story started out with a poem. It was like an amuse-bouche, setting the tone for the tale ahead.

*Note3* Creativity:
I think you did a great job at describing who Albert was as a person, husband, and father. He asked for nothing and gave the same. With so few words you gave a clear, concise, but very telling description of Albert. Who Rose was allowed/permitted for his distance. The reader new she wanted more from her husband and sublimated his lack of emotional interaction for opera, something that is brimming with emotion.*ThumbsUp* *ThumbsUp*

*Note4* Technicals, grammar/spelling: I read this piece very carefully and found no spelling or grammer mistakes. Good job editing . One sentence I had to read a few times was: Rose began to notice small and subtle nuances of behavior in her husband. There is some redundancy here with the words subtle and nuances. I would suggest saying instead: Rose noticed small, subtle changes in her husband's behavior.

*Note2* Overall Impression:
This was certainly a story that kept my attention throughout and after. While I had a pretty good idea of who albert was, he was still such a complicated character. Kuddos for giving us snippets (at first) of this man's psyche. He had an obsession with the sickle and scythes. Why was it then and just then, that he decided to use them and on his family ? I think about Albert's father and grandfather, did they somehow pass this psychopathic behavior down to him, like their strong work ethic? All intriguing questions you have left me with.

I give this *Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Write On!!!!!


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16
16
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


*Note1* First Impression: Great story that pulled me in immediately.

*Note3* Creativity: Good use of the prompts and the descriptions really brought the story to life.

*Note4* Grammar/Spelling: Good editing. I found no errors.

*Note5* Likes: Dread filled Elmir’s heart as he gazed at the black, marching shape growing on the bloody horizon. This was one of my favorite sentences.

*Note6* Changes: Two suggestions - although this story is only 300 words, it would be a good idea to use some spacing in between paragraphs, as it helps the reader pace himself. Second, because of the limited word count allowed for the flash fiction, you should try to be as succinct as possible. For example you mentioned the matter of "darkness" numerous times early on and right behind each other. In a longer piece, this would work, but for the flash fiction, limiting it would allow for you to tell more of the story.

*Note2* Overall Impression: This was an intriguing and inviting story. I am curious as to how the enemy was able to use the dark to their advantage (what special powers did they possess and why). I loved the ending, in that you brought the story back to something we can all identify with - love. Good job and good luck in the contest.


Write On!!!!!


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17
17
Review of We Who Lay  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Joseph Michael Webb Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "We Who Lay" Open in new Window. for Snow Man Build-off, Challenge Three of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*Snow1* First Impression: A poem about a lost loved one and the grief process in dealing with that loss.

*Snow1* Suggestions: None at all. I wouldn't even deign to change someone's deepest emotions, because they are truthful. What more could a reader ask for?

*Snow1* What I Liked Best: Each beautiful line delivered part of a story an experience, which brought tears to me eyes. But if I did have to pick this line would be my favorite:
*Bullet*Never lose sight of we who lay This is so profound - never forget the one who is gone, who we lay to rest. Ultimately I think that when we lose someone who is so close to us we fear that with time those memories and those feelings will eventually fade away as well.

*Snow1* Overall Impression: A poem that is honest to its core, expressing one's grief. I thank you for sharing this and part of yourself with me.



Write On!!!!!
18
18
Review of The River  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Africangirl Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "The River" Open in new Window.


*Snow1* First Impression: After reading "meaning of The River" Open in new Window., I had to read this story about love between two people. The symbolism between there safe and nonjudgmental haven and the afterlife is very apposite.

*Snow1* Suggestions: None. This was simply written with a punch of profound thought and feeling.

*Snow1* What I Liked Best:
*Bullet*" I am now old .I am still in love. You are still beautiful" she whispered softly choking away the pain as they lowered her husband’s coffin. And then finally " ….I’ll be there." I liked the full-circle of "I'll be there". Sadly reminiscent but also very hopeful.

*Snow1* Overall Impression: A story with deep meaning, that once understood can be appreciated, provided hope even when all seems lost.



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In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Africangirl Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "meaning of The River" Open in new Window. for Snow Man Build-off, Challenge Three of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*Snow1* First Impression: I appreciate the writer taking the reader deeper into the heart and soul of "The River" providing meanings possibly lost or at best overlooked.

*Snow1* Suggestions: None. This is the explanation, the tutorial if you will and a pretty good job of it.

*Snow1* What I Liked Best: I think the very first explanation of the river as the after life gives a good sense of the story as well as the profound thinking of the writer.

*Snow1* Overall Impression: A good tutorial that will allow for a more in depth understanding of "The River"



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20
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In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Africangirl Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Chef (Neverwood Starlet's Diary)" Open in new Window. for Snow Man Build-off, Challenge Three of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*Snow1* First Impression: Apparently baking a cake can go that wrong - who knew?

*Snow1* Suggestions: My one suggestion would be to watch out for your spacing. Throughout this item you either put an extra space where it shouldn't be or failed to space after a period. This can be a little confusing as the reader isn't quite sure if the sentence (and thought) are done.

*Snow1* What I Liked Best:
*Bullet*All that was left of my masterpiece was a burnt block of what used to be perfection. I liked this sentence most because I think ti said a lot about the character. The cake wasn't even finished and yet she believes it to be perfect. She seems a little oblivious to reality and perhaps her own abilities.

*Snow1* Overall Impression: A short but interesting view into this character. Since this is the beginnings of a series of short stories, I wonder what she will try next. I hope not rocket science *Shock*.



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21
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In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Tadpole1 Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "The Dancer and the Mannequin" Open in new Window. for Snow Man Build-off, Challenge Three of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*Snow1* First Impression: Cynthia performs the dance of death, but will she be the victim or the victor?

*Snow1* Suggestions: I have none. The descriptions were great - you really brought the scene to life for me. There were no errors and not an awkward sentence. *Thumbsup*

*Snow1* What I Liked Best:
*Bullet*She looked at it with unease; nevertheless, pushed by urgency, she headed for the ballet section, near the mirrors. I loved this sentence. I can just imagine Cynthia stopping for a second to ponder on the elevator, but she had one goal and I could feel her urgency.

*Snow1* Overall Impression: A great story told in just 300 words. The ending was totally unexpected - I loved this.



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22
22
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Annie Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "How Martin Lost his Two Front Teeth" Open in new Window. for the Snow Man Build-off, Challenge Three of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*Snow1* First Impression: Martin loses his two from teeth, but gains a new relationship with his older brother.

*Snow1* Suggestions: You did a great job editing this story. I found to errors and the overall story flowed really well. I have no suggestions.

*Snow1* What I Liked Best:

*Bullet* They couldn’t stop biting into these sweet, juicy, sunset-colored fruits. I really liked your description of the fruit. You really brought it to life and created an image of them eating it.

*Bullet* I loved the message sent with this story - from bad comes good. While Martin and Jacob had some rivalry going on, Jacob turned around and was the older and sympathetic brother. His new attitude did not go unnoticed by Martin. *Thumbsup**Thumbsup*

*Snow1* Overall Impression: A great read for all ages with a very positive message!



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23
23
Review of Shelby  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Jaye P. Marshall Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "Shelby" Open in new Window. in honor of your winning *GiftB**GiftG* Package #15 *GiftR**GiftV* in "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*StockingB* First Impression:
Shelby and her family move into a new home and things start to disappear.

*StockingG* Suggestions:
I enjoyed this story that described a family's new start in a new home. Although, at a certain point in the story I wondered why the story was titled "Shelby" as a seemed for a while that more focus was given to Jason.

*StockingR* What I Liked Best:
What was happening to all the paper products? The writer described a very common disorder in young children which is known as Pica.

*StockingV* Overall Impression: A cute story with an interesting twist.

*Snow1* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*




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24
24
Review of The Door  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Jaye P. Marshall Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "The Door" Open in new Window. in honor of your winning *GiftB**GiftG* Package #15 *GiftR**GiftV* in "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*StockingB* First Impression: Three young cousins unlock the secret to the mysterious door at grandmother's house.

*StockingG* Suggestions: Once again none. This writer created a mysterious story with a locked door as the backdrop. Reading this conjured up my own personal memories of visiting my grandmother, which allowed for me to really connect with the story.

*StockingR* What I Liked Best: The ending. While for this reader it offered a touching and sad explanation to the mysterious door and the strange sound, it also touched on the feelings of a mother losing a child and not being able to let go. This is so true for many.

*StockingV* Overall Impression: A mysterious story that is well written and really showcases the creative and empathetic side of the writer.

*Snow1* Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*




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25
25
Review of The Portrait  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.


Hi Jaye P. Marshall Author Icon, I am anastasia beyverhausen Author Icon and I will review "The Portrait" Open in new Window. in honor of your winning *GiftB**GiftG* Package #15 *GiftR**GiftV* in "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


*StockingB* First Impression: Brenda starts to think that her husband's strange behavior is somehow related to his father's portrait.

*StockingG* Suggestions: None! This story was very creative and well written with great flow and a thrilling plot. I wouldn't change a thing.

*StockingR* What I Liked Best: The part that made my hair stand up was when I realized that Jim's father was alive. While you didn't give reason for me to believe he was dead, that bit of information just added to the thrill of the story.

*StockingV* Overall Impression: A great story which chills and thrills. Smooth writing made this a treat to read.

*Snow1* Rating:




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