you have set before yourself a daunting task young one. being not much older than you (22) i can surely attest to the difficulties of solving such a riddle. I hope the questions you were asking were rhetorical. This sounds like many things i have written... taking on these questions of life, love, hate, god. Your view is just that and many people are sensitive to these subjects, trust me. No one can tell you what life is, you can merely describe what Y O U see. we're all writing the greatest stories ever told, just give yours time to develop. trust in yourself, your answers will come friend.
"The Kara-Tur caravan was slowly crossing the planes of Cormyr when the rider approached. The rider was a lone elf, a scout from the look of him. The lone elf sought out Lia immediately he spoke the language of the High Elves and when he was assured of her identity He handed over a letter. "
this same problem can be found in many places. maybe you avoid revealing this 'rider' right away or if you choose to keep it change the structure of the sentence (avoid "....a rider approached. "the rider was a lone elf. the lone elf...." this confuses the reader.. maybe go with something like:
"the sun was setting on the plains of Coryr as the Kara-tur caravan continued their journey. a streak of dust quickly flashed before them, circling around again. the gallop was unmistakeable - a scout. Some were quick to ready defenses but the horses remained calm.
(then introduce your elf.. is he hooded? maybe he is not an ordinary scout? maybe entirely useless... however did you ever think of adding dialogue? a reader would then truly attempt relate to your heroine 'Lai' as well as surrounding characters. readers like active words, vivid description... you're on the right path. nice job.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mrbeauregard27
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 12:11am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
