\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mroutgoing2010
Review Requests: OFF
45 Public Reviews Given
60 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Oh the Cost  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, my name is Nick {The Expressed Man} and this review is in regards to "Expressing Emotion" Poetry Contest. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

*Star* Overall Impression:
I think this poem is great, by far one of the best poems I have ever read. It relates to anyone and everyone in the world.

*Star* Punctuation:
I saw no punctuation mistakes.

*Star* Structure:
The structure was great because it suits this poem very wells, and almost everything goes well.

*Star* Favorite Part:
"Oh the cost I've paid
As I'm just a kid"

*Star* Suggestions: In your last 3 stanzas you lost your rhythm. I think it would have been best to to change dead to rhyme with closed or vice-versa. I think you should add another line at the end to keep up the way you were doing your poem, in stead of leaving your last stanza single.

Write On
The Expressed Man
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
2
2
Review of Unfinished  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Good poem. Full of emotion and love. I rated it a 3 because the flow is off and I think it would have been better if you followed a certain structure. Maybe symbolic or rhyming structure would suit this best, because the way it is now it is hard to read.

Write On
The Expressed Man
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
3
3
Review of Kindness  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Great poem. Good flow. A lot of positivity. I only saw a few things that could use some changing.
(*)I believe a comma is needed after "cope", "fire", and "voices".

Write On
The Expressed Man
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
4
4
Review of just because  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.


Good poem. Only one thing that stood out for me that could use some changing.
(*) In your 3rd stanza you do not follow your 2 line flow, and it kind of sets things out of motion. Other than that good poem.

Write On
The Expressed Man
5
5
Review of Infinity mind  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

This piece speaks beautifully, but the way you wrote is not good. Maybe trying something like this.

The infinite wisdom of an open mind,
An open book of the most powerful kind.
To look into it is to see the soul,
beyond it is a magnificent pole,

And so on and so forth. The lack of flow really distracted me from the message.

Write on
The Expressed Man
6
6
Review of I am sorry  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Good poem. I have no suggestion on the writing itself, but on grammar.
I am sorry
that I feel
I am sorry
that I hurt
I am sorry
that I suffer
I am sorry
that I cut
I am sorry
that I breath <------ should be changed to "that I breathe"
I am sorry
that I live
I am sorry
that I hurt me <----- should be changed to "that i hurt myself"
I am sorry
that I hurt you

Write on
The Expressed Man
7
7
Review of Father  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Very emotional piece. It seems that you called him Father because, in the sense that most people that call there fathers "daddy" usually have a really good relationship, and you did not.

(*)In this line:
His quietness, his callous distain.
I don't understand what you were trying to say.
I think some clearity would be good there. This line is what kept me from rating it a 4.5 .
Other than that good poem.

Write on
The Expressed Man
8
8
Review of You're Gone  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Great poem. I saw no punctuation mistakes, and I only have one suggestion for your poem:
(*)In your last line I think it would suite it best if it was changed to
I face the truth, now that your gone.
The "because" in the poem sets off the flow.

Write on
The Expressed Man
9
9
Review of Happiness  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Great poem. Happiness is something you can not take for granite.
I think you will like this short article that i wrote on happiness.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1618412 by Not Available.

Write on
The Expressed Man
10
10
Review of Wake  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

The birth of a child is an amazing thing. And you portrayed this very well.
"You are calm now and your eyes are curious " This was my favorite line.
Write on
The Expressed Man
11
11
Review of Why  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Nice poem. Break ups can be very hard, and poetry can help cope with it.
"But you let me go."
"Since you have done this,"
"I no longer care."
"But if you still love me,"
"I will always be there."

In these lines you show a bit of resentment and an everlasting love for this person. Good job.
Write on
The Expressed Man
12
12
Review of My Poetry  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Great poem! I love poetry about poetry! Great expression involved here.
Write on
The Expressed Man
I think you would like this poem. Please check it out.
 I Am A Poet Open in new Window. (E)
I am a poet.
#1610040 by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
13
13
Review of Warmth  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Very romantic poem.
It seems that you wrote this about someone or an experience you had with someone.
You said that it is not finished. Maybe you could add something more like what you and this other person attire is.Like:
(*)Red dress shimmering in the air.
Or something along those lines to paint a more vivid picture of this scene.
Write on
The Expressed Man
14
14
Review of Tears  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

Cry on. Crying is a healthy thing. Lets emotions literally flow out of yourself.
15
15
Review of Unarmed  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, my name is Nick. My reviews are only my opinions, and suggestions, and interpretations of your work. Please do not take offense from them or let them discourage you.

I like the idea of the poem.
It is very short and with this idea, you could go alot farther with it.
Write on
The Expressed Man
16
16
Review of Promise  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
A very passionate poem. Good job. Write on.Short but good.
17
17
Review of Follow Your Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great poem. I agree that you should follow your heart. In one review someone told me to not say bananas... but to smell, taste, and feel bananas. You did this very well in this poem.

Things that I saw that I think could maybe use some changing:
(*) In you first stanza: "Down" and "found" just doesn't seem to fix perfect together. I think that there is a better option than that. Maybe something like this:
(A) Follow your heart, it won't leave you fallen,
chase your dreams, and you will know,
peace is there, like the Summer pollen,
Kindness is what you should bestow

These are my own opinions and suggestions, and in know way am I telling you that you "NEED" to change anything.
Write on
The Expressed Man
18
18
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Story Master, thank for this helpful forum. I have another idea that you could add to this page.
{*} Make business cards and go to ou local book stores and ask them if you can leave them on there front counter so when customers cash out they will see them and maybe look into it.

If you get a chance could you check out my porfolio.
Thanks.
THe Expressed Man
19
19
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very good work. Exspecially for a ten year old.Although i didn't really see a climax in the story.I think with a luittle more work this could be 5 star material.
20
20
Review of I Miss  Open in new Window.
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very touching and heartfelt poem. A lot emotion and a lot of love for your grandma. If she read this poem she would feel the best person in the world. Check out my poem. "Empty Space"
21
21
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very interesting and passionate poem. I personally thought it was a nice touch to write it from the opposite sex's perspective. It seems your are deeply in love and adore this person. I wish you the best of luck in your writing and with you relationships.

Good work,
The expressed man
22
22
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem shows deep love, faith, and respect for god. It seems as if you are a recovering addict of some drugs or a bad habit. If not i apologize is i misconstrued your poem. You seek a lot of help from god and use god to show you the way of your life and use god to help make your decisions.

Very good work,
The Expressed man
23
23
Review by The Last Line Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
God does not necessarily have to exist nor does there need to be scientific proof of his existence. Religion or the belief in any higher authorities is an opportunity to a belief beyond of what science can prove. To be able to live life free and die free. To be able to think there is more to life than just life and death. To believe that good choices will ultimately bring peace of mind that you will move on to a better place upon confronting death. God may or may not be real to science but God is real to many people no matter what science can prove or disprove.
23 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mroutgoing2010