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Review by mask Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Dan, I am also an amateur. I enjoyed your story, just a few quirks - "a bunch of hose" sounds - well... not right. Maybe you should have put "the entire reel of hose, or maybe something else. A lot of effort was put into Andrew fighting with the hose which I think loses the reader's interest along the way. But I appreciate your wording and it was very descriptive - maybe more so for novel oriented writing or something longer.

All in all - it was good writing and kept my attention. The ending funny and premature-ish, but hey I can work with that.

Keep it up!

Ms. Mask
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