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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mur13
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3 Public Reviews Given
84 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Just You  
Review by Rusty Quill
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
nice little piece, if one lets go of all intention what what happens when they intend to let go of their intentions. can they still have no intentions while intending one day to live without intentions.... i think i lost myself there.

I wish everyone would stop laughing at the girth of my pockets, wad of cash or no wad of cash.

~Rusty
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2
Review by Rusty Quill
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I think this piece has good potential, the flow feels quite natural. I felt like it builds to a penultimate point around the fifth stanza and then seems to fade though - I'm waiting for a very poinant ending at that point.

I'm all primed to get this huge revelation one that gives me chills. I think with some work I'm sure you'll figure out how to give me those chills.

Good luck, and have fun...
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