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Review of Chasing  Open in new Window.
Review by Rose Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
I enjoyed what you were trying to portray and appreciated that I can relate to most of what your piece said, which was that of being afraid of the sometimes inevitable feeling of love and the fear of lust and commitment. Your poem admitted the truth in love and monogamy, the bitter horrendous truth at that. You didn't neglect to include the truth of the endings of love stories and how they are lacking in truth.
Though you made many points, I was somewhat disappointed by the piece's lack of depth. Most of what you have said is one sided and lacks any more than one central meaning, and that is that you are in fear of this love, of loving this man of whom you find yourself falling for. I saw no relation or comparison, no complete description that pulled me in and painted intense imagery in my mind, no moment of climax in the poem and felt no exact urge to continue reading. I think that for fuller reference you should pay more attention to that of emotional affect on the reader and focus more on the relation that the reader should be able to have with the piece. This can by done by using more similes, metaphors, imagery, and wording. Don't be afraid to say things that shock the reader, whether this is by offending or uplifting them, by making them sob or making them scream.
I love to see that others love writing as much as I, and I urge you to continue writing and improving.
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