I don't know much about poetry so I can't give a meaningful critique but what comes through in this writing is your emotion. I can tell you have been there, that this is from personal experience. You express so much passion and belief. I can identify with that as I, too, was recently called by God. You have summed up so much of what I feel. Thank you for writing this.
This was a well told story seen through the eyes of a five year old child. It started off cute and innocent and you built a sense of foreboding that gripped and held my attention throughout. The kettle was well used to build the suspense. You really made me feel for the child. Good story!
What an amazing story. I love it. It shows that while there is ugliness in the world, there is also much beauty. The girl has a beautiful heart that helped overcome the ugliness that started the poor kitten's life. Heart warming and sincere. It shows that love can overcome anything.
I enjoyed reading this. Your story had a natural flow that made it easy to read. I like the way you let the story flow with a series of dlashbacks that delivered the backstory in an interesting way. The ending was perfect.
This is a beautiful poem. You've really captured the essence of moving from Fall into winter. I know you referenced moving into a new life after finishing school but this works on other levels too. Especially the first two verses. Very nicely written.
Ha! I enjoyed this. I can see why you have a reputation for writing good western stories. Your characterization was great as were your descriptions. The best line though was
lol this was a great read. Somehow I get a very good picture of your father reading this. Your description of the snake's reaction was very humourous and made light of what could have been a very serious situation. You actually made me gasp when I read about the bramble turning out to be a snake. Well written and very entertaining!
Thanks for this. I needed to read this article. I just upgraded my account so I'm new to the whole statistics thing. It's hard to suggest anything you can do to improve this post as you've done a great job covering every angle of the stats. All I can say is great job and I'll be referring back to this often I'm sure.
This is a very heart warming story. I love the idea of how animals can be therapeutic to people especially children who have been through some sort of trauma.
I love stuff like this. This takes me back to the airshows Dad used to take me to when I was a child. Your words capture perfectly how it feels to be standing there watching these daredevils put on their displays. The Red Arrows. The Blue Eagles. *Sigh* Such happy memories your words evoke!
wow! This chapter packs a serious emotional punch! I think you handled the emotions extremely well. I can see that you're gaining confidence. There is a real flow to your story. I really like where you are going with this. This was an even better read than the first chapter. I love the scenes where he almost reached Mandy. Almost but not quite. It was touching and agony to read. I was just willing her to hear him, to see him, to fully realise he's there. Very well handled.
HAHA! I love it! The workers lament. Very cleverly done. Excellent use of emoticons and I think you pretty much said it all for every worker in the world. Unless you happen to love your job. And how many people are that lucky?
This was really good. You built the suspense well and the story had a good flow. The way you used reflections to allow his nemesis to communicate was pretty clever. I'd love to know what happens next and I can't help wondering if you've written any more of this story?
I can tell this is truly from the heart. It's nice when you're in such a strong relationship. I'm the same with my wife. We feel like we're soulmates, like we belong together. We enjoy each others company so much. Thanks for sharing this. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
All I can say is this was absolutely spine chilling. Creepy as hell and that ending...well I didn't see that last part coming at all. You have a natural voice and you just kept piling on the chills. Good job!
An interesting second instalment. I like that I can't tell where you're going with this. Is Marli a ghost or something Kerk has created as a way to cope with losing her. And who is this dastardly Evangelica and this mysterious group she is with. I wonder if there will be a third instalment soon. I'd love to read it!
I think this is one of the cutest ghost stories I've ever read. They make a great couple even if one of them is insubstantial. I have to say I was hoping Marli would choose to stay even though I know in realirt she should have moved on. There was something just off about that psychic woman. I'm going to read part two now.
This was a nicely written poem on the horror and futility of war. The line "there is no winner when it comes to war" is so apt and so true. Maybe one day the world will learn that lesson and then the horror of war can be a thing of the past. We can only hope.
This was very good. Stories about cyborgs and robots always sell well. I think it's because of all the paranoia that one day machines will become sentient and take over the world. Look at the Terminator series and stories like I, Robot. This was a fascinating story.
LOL! This would make for a very funny short comedy sketch. I like your writing style. It's very clear and simple. I can picture the whole thing in my head as I'm reading it. Definitely a candidate for a "what's the worst that could happen?" skit. But I can't help wondering...what WAS that sound?! ;)
LOL meal time sounds like a crazy but fun time in your old household. I love milk, but when I read that you had to drink warm milk even my stomach curdled. Milk is meant to be drunk cold! Much as I love milk, even I couldn't drink it warm. I was an only child so it's fun to read stories like this. I'm not sure if I envy you though! ;)
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