There is quite an amount of emotion between these lines, and it is always important that your audience feels what you are trying to convey. Good job. Keep writing! God bless you!
Hi :) Wow, this man...if it's as literal as it appears, I like how you brought out his characteristics..like I feel it. The rhyme is good...I think this is a great piece! Keep writing! God bless you :)
Hi! I love rain, and to be honest, this is a wonderful piece. However, I think you should keep the sentences with some kind of length- what I mean by this is that it should easily be recited at a regular pace so that all the words in the sentence fit into a particular rhythm.
Keep writing!
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