I much prefer this revised version (yes I took the time to check out the original..=*^)
Why do I like it? well this rendition is simply more moving, intimate and realized as a poem. Though this is just my opinion. I'm certainly no literary critic, I am merely drawn to the emotion I felt with this piece.
I really enjoyed this work. I was captured from the beginning, a very enticing title which made me want to read on.
This is very clever in descriptive elements, lyrical and complex.
Just a very beautiful piece. Bravo! :) very cleverly written.
Keep on writing!
Nat
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