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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nayad
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2 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Large Bills First  Open in new Window.
Review by Nayad Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Before I start reviewing, I should say that my own preferences in fiction to read are science fiction, fantasy, and horror, and that I tend to feel the most satisfied by plot-driven stories. This story is outside of my usual categories, but I'll do my best to give it a fair review.

I really liked your use of language in this story. The sentences flowed nicely, and the description was good. I got a sense of the main character's personality very quickly. Since this is a character-driven, slice of life story, that's important. I didn't get much sense of a conflict within the story. It came across very much like an entry in someone's journal, putting perspective on an event. If that's the effect you intended, then it's perfect! If you were looking to create more tension, my suggestion would be to try it in the present tense and to create a stronger sense of danger, maybe using short, terse sentences and making the main character more upset and confused. But again, that's more about my biases in the kinds of stories I read.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your short stories!
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Review of The Dreamer  Open in new Window.
Review by Nayad Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I liked the idea behind this story, but I wished for more. I would like to see more development of the characters, and a resolution to the conflict of the blessing/curse of having all of her dreams come true. Could there be a way for her to be saved from this fate? Could she save herself by learning how to control her own dreams? Maybe this difficult beginning in her life could set the stage for later adventures, after she has become more powerful due to controlling the workings of her mind.

I also wondered about the name, Sognatrice. It draws attention to itself because it's so unusual. Is there a reason for that? Does it have a meaning that's important to the story? If so, it would be good to slip in an explanation of the meaning. If not, then using a less distracting name would make the story flow better.

I would be interested in reading any revisions of this story!
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