\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/naykd
Review Requests: OFF
184 Public Reviews Given
197 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 ... Next
1
1
Review of Commitment  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
For me the message of this piece was quite clear until I got to:

`Giving opportunity
To live a life full of gold

Givers are now takers
Now takers will return
The promise once made to
A person so in love
Such a crazy scene
Royal fucked up mess
The life of a commitment
Finds weary in the rest'

... then I sort of got confused as to what the message is meant to be. Now this may be my lacking - I don't know - leave it to you to decide (lol) ...Besides that I liked what was written in terms of style etc..
2
2
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Well put. Again an honest emotion and experience we can all relate to and nicely expressed here. Good tempo and rhythm to expression - good stuff..keep writing
3
3
Review of Wonderful Sin  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good stuff...honest and to the point - saying all lot of what we have all come to experience in just a few words...
4
4
Review of Tragic Hate  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You manage to capture the full essence of emotions expressed in just a few lines - I like that. Well written
5
5
Review of Unspoken Fears  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This not to detract from the emotion of this piece but, the poem leaves me thinking there is more to be said - just my view. I am not one to fuss on writing style but other readers may consider punctuation and typo's as `i' for `I' etc., a detraction - just a thought.

But honest and expressive - good writing.
6
6
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Prominent, emotionally honest piece. Some minor technical corrections:
`If that's how you wanted to go'
`Now your sister is gone as well',
`You chose that path, you chose to kill' `
`With Eve gone I'll never hear the tails' -

they are all minor but they detract from the strength of the poem...good writing...
7
7
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
A subject and thoughts that traces through most minds at least once in a life time but few take the challenge to write about it. One minor yet common error: hear vs here (we all do it). Keep writing.
8
8
Review of Global Terror  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the message that resonates and the style is interesting Only suggestion I may have used `utter' in stead of `mutter' but that's a personal choice - good read
9
9
Review of Love  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nicely expressed. There are a couple of typo's you may want to correct but other than that - very thoughtful.
10
10
Review of entry  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
`obfirm' - I had to look it up - and now it make sense! Good stuff finding a suitable word to rhyme with `learned'
11
11
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well that wass interesting....or should I say Wha da f...

Good stuff -
12
12
Review of The Light  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I could almost hear Johnny Cash singing this...very good

Just one minor edit `YES, that('s) what I’ll do,
13
13
Review of Soft Hands  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
An interesting, retrospective tribute to a mother from a keen perspective we so often seem to ignore and touchingly told. Good work.
14
14
Review of Wings of White  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh the trials of love found - and lost! Only suggestion as to tempo and rhyme. If I am reading all correctly can I suggest in the lines:

`Saw my heart that was made of ice,' - To rhyme with `white': Saw my heart that was closed tight' or `closed from fright'

and

`But, that's just what she sells to guys.' I suggest a finish of :

`But, that's just what she sells to guys - the fight'

and

`Turned around, decided not to look back, and just left.' suggest: `Turned around, deciding, not to look back, was for the best.'

These are only suggestions and not meant to take away from what you have skillfully written.

One typo: blessid - to be blessed

Great read thanks
15
15
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Brandon, you say in your bio that you plan to take writing lessons - frankly in my humble opinion - you don't really need them. The depth and honesty of emotion, the use of simple yet pointed metaphor and the clear expression of message is already there. The best line that exemplifies this thought has to be: `Now, all I can do is try copiously to resurrect it with ink.' for it is in the meaning of this line that speaks to being a great writer. To be able to dig deep and honestly within yourself and to translate that emotion through word, to tell an untold story. Keep up the great work and don't let conformity to `rule' - inhibit your unique style. Just a note: you may want to check what on the system is causing your formatting of the view to be distorted as it is - it takes away from the strength of what you are offering and finally, as to what you would label this work I think I would call it prose defined as:1: ordinary writing as distinguished from verse
2: matter of fact, commonplace, or dull expression
16
16
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Brandon this is an intelligent, introspective view of what goes through a man's mind and heart when he is the one `dumped' by their lover. If I have any suggestion to make is that it goes on more than it need to. For my opinion if it ended at the line:
`When you say hello to love, remember to say goodbye to sane.' Everything after this line is more than the reader needs to have gotten the essence of the story And the phrase: `say goodbye to sane' could be a good title for the piece. Appreciate that this is only my opinion and is not meant to take away from your effort or intent of the poem. Great stuff - I look forward to more!
17
17
Review of Moment of Clarity  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What you postulate to in this writing is commendable and warranted however only a cynical response is ultimately forthcoming especially in these contemporary times of greed, selfishness and the loss of a moral compass. This does not necessarily say there is no hope to that which you ascribe. It unfortunately seems human's nature to be prone to reaction rather than pro-action demanded `to make things right'.

A very insightful, inspiring and well presented piece. Keep them coming.
18
18
Review of belfast child  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
A well told and powerful remembrance of a time in Irish history that seems for the time at least, to be behind you. Not bad for the first kick at the task. Keep writing I am sure you have much more to relate.
19
19
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Brandon, you mention in your bio that you want to go to writing school - so you going to teach? Excellent perspective getting into our minds like that..great! And quite the message as well! Good writing
20
20
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A nice metaphoric expression of `love on the open seas' and not just to catch `crabs' <hope you got a sense of humor - otherwise ignore the last lol>

As to the poem - nice flow and suitably titled (once you read it that is)
21
21
Review of The Passenger  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very intelligent and insightful perspective on our frail and vulnerable mental condition - good read
22
22
Review of Ignorance  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
So true. And unfortunately most will gladly and sheepishly take you up on your offering:

`So Enjoy you're Bliss.

You're Ignorance.

For that is All you know'

A good and to the point expression!
23
23
Review of Masks  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this poem! I have often written about how one's outward appearance (mask) can serve to deceive and fool another but I enjoyed how you twisted this to be how the mask fooled its wearer. Brilliant Write on as they would have me say <lol>.
24
24
Review of Freeze!  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very good read. I enjoyed the story of introspection that finds the strength to finally break away from self-imposed controls and limitations freezing you to that one place.

Just my suggestion on how I read it I might have put: `Uncertainty, backed by `certainty' in place of stiffness'

Keep writing..
25
25
Review of My Door  Open in new Window.
Review by NAYKD POET Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Expressive and full of emotion. Just a suggestion that the line: `You showed me love i had yet known' might have read: `I had yet to know'. Good work.
66 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 3 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/naykd