Interesting! I was surprised when the old man jumped ott the cliff, and then I was surprised again that he actually started to fly. Although I have to admit, the story would have more impact, if the old man jumped into his death. It would have been shocking.
I found a lot of expressions in brackets. I think you should remove them from the story, because it makes it difficult to read. Otherwise I could have read it fluently from the beginning to the end.
Amazing short story! It made me think for a while, there are a lot of deep thoughts in it. You didn't have too much space to show us how the world ended, but you did an excellent job doing so. I couldn't find any mistake in the text either.
I think it was very well written. Being alone is not the best thing, especially not in adult life, when it is much easier to work things out together, as a team.
The ending is quite absurd, but I like it that way. I thought the protagonist is someone around 25, maybe 28 looking for a husband, but it turns out it's an old lady who is alone, and I suppose, she doesn't want to die alone. It's sad, but that's life, you know, it's just not fair.
I like this story. The characters are interesting, I like your style, the narration works fine in my opinion. I'm not an expert in terms of English, but I had no trouble here with new words.
The world in interesting, I read many science-fiction books, I've seen some similar things, but I ultimately think there is enough unique things in here. Although you should work on getting new information to the readers, in the beginning, I felt I am lost in this world.
Good job :)
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nequam95
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:10pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
