Wow, Rmkv! I was a little worried about opening your piece to be honest. I usually steer clear of things about any kind of abuse, mostly because I usually get very emotional when I read them. But I did open this. And for that, I am happy.
Let's get this out of the way: Grammatical, I didn't see any big shining issues to fix. I think it flowed beautifully. Your use of white space was perfect and the way you italicized the beckoning of the knife was amazing.
Now, for why I truly loved this piece. I have actually been there in that kind of relationship. Everyone thinks it starts bad, and they think there are these huge red flags everywhere. But that simply isn't the case, and I think you captured that perfectly in this piece. I have been with family members like hers too. And I think you also captured that perfectly.
I think the way you mentioned her miscarriage was respectful enough for someone who has had one (like me) to be able to read it without becoming too emotional, yet blunt enough to know exactly what you were saying.
I kind of feared that she was going to end her own life, which would have been super tragic. I feared that she would be her own victim as well as his. But when I got to the end and I saw that she made Tony pay for his sins- I almost jumped from my bed clapping wildly! (Not that I could in real life kill anyone- I don't think) But I was happy to see that he wouldn't get away with essentially taking her life. That's what any abuse does- whether physical or not- it kills the person receiving it.
I don't personally feel like these two chapters are boring at all! I like the way you have set up the characters as well as the environment around them. Yet you still leave enough out to make me what to read more. I would like to know more about Maple Grove. I want to know what exactly makes the people in the town weirder than others. It was pretty easy for me to visualize what exactly What Vince and Judd looked like. I do hope there is more about them later on! I also like how you are leading up to the creepy, jumpy stuff. I honestly get bored when there is too much too fast! Great job!!
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