I can't say I loved it, but I can't say I hated it either, so I'm going to say that I liked it. You started out great but when you started into the second I was slightly disappointed. It's almost like you were saying the exact same thing as you did in the first paragraph only you used different words. It was nice though :).
It was actually pretty good to be honest but you should probably cut back on all ands, maybe add a little more punctuation too to break up some of the sentences it makes it easier to read. Overall good work, keep it up :).
All in all I thought it was really good especially considering the fact that it was your first. A little constructive criticism though, you should try using more punctuation so your sentences flow more :).
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