Dark Poetry...I love it. I always like to see poems about death and blood rather than romance and relationships lol. Anyway I think you have a good start but I would like to see more. Make it a little longer, maybe a section on what is chasing you or why it is chasing you.
I enjoyed it but I have one suggestion: With the opening paragraph I think you should go into detail exactly where they are to give it a little more atmosphere. Otherwise i thought it was pretty good. Keep writing!
Wow lol, I have to say this made me laugh. I really like the way Harry and Dudley were switched. "I'll try to suck in my stomach if I can go" that was great. Your writing style is pretty good, only suggestion I could make is to keep going with this. Can't wait to read the other parts.
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