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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nixie9
Review Requests: OFF
3,486 Public Reviews Given
3,525 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of I Like Trees  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, G. B. Williams I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Inciting Incident
I like trees too. I feel comforted in their presence, thinking about all the wisdom they've gathered over the years.

*Vine1*
Observations
Each line adds another layer to the author's affinity with trees. Each line is unique. Here I found many of my thoughts about trees.

Some people struggle to be more, as if who they are is lacking. Society presses this upon us. Do better. Do more. This line expressed the opposite, the truth.

I like trees because they never attempt to be anything but trees.

The reader also finds a bit of psychology for helping people. Generally, we see this expressed as 'choose your battles.' A person can cling to who they think they are, without making room for another's opinion or truism. Best to remember, one person cannot change who the other is.
I like trees because most know when to bend.

*Vine1*
Out on a limb.
I prefer no exclamation marks. I'd also like to see, in the last line, LIKE written as like.

*Vine2*
The crowning glory
"I like trees because they help me to understand people!"

Respectfully,
An owl for reviewing.

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2
2
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Jeff I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
In the beginning
Well, I didn't know what to expect from this story, but I like the way you write and present your stories. Also, I wondered why I was reading a Round 2 tale without reading round one.

*Vine1*
Observations
What I discovered was that I didn't need Round 1 to orient me. The plot stood on its own. The writing was exceptional. Fantasy of this sort isn't a draw for me, but once I began reading, I couldn't stop.

*Vine2*
Plot/character points
The characters carried the plot and the plot carried the characters. The action/adventure wasn't overly dramatic, but I liked the pacing and the surprises you left around a few corners.

Central to the plot was the relationship between Eldon and Rex. They both obviously cared for each other, but the emphasis was on Eldon taking care of precious Rex. What a beautiful moment when Eldon gave Rex a rest from flying.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
I had my doubts about the wrap-up, the water droplets draining the life force and all that. But Eldon (and you) relieved my concern with the mention of someone who could help them gain back their souls.

*Right*One of my favorite lines
“C’mon, boy,” Eldon said, scratching Rex’s scales right under the chin.

I shocked myself by reviewing this, and that's a testimony to your outstanding writing, Jeff.

Respectfully

An owl for reviewing.

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3
3
Review of Signs  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Purple Holiday Princess Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024Open in new Window.. I think this is the first time your story popped up for me to review.

*Burstg*
In the beginning
At forty, I hate to say it, but sledding is not a good idea. But you included the anticipatory glee emanating from your inner child, and that was all the reader needed to catch on.

*Burstg*
Buried in snow
Oh, how I miss those snow storms. But, as you wrote here, the downside can be limiting. My entire car has been buried under snow. As a kid, we had huge outside doors in our basement, and they were completely covered.

*Burstg*
Connecting the dots
Do I believe in signs? You betcha'. At the moment, I can't think of one, so I experienced yours vicariously. In the meantime, I can relate to the snow. One year, while living n NYS, I had a broken foot and had to dig out my Camaro. The snowplow inevitably arrived soon after and shoved banks of snow against my car. Another year, I lived in Maine, and we didn't even bother trying to uncover our car because we had another to drive.

*Burstg*
Adhering to the contest rules
When entering "Daily Flash Fiction ChallengeOpen in new Window. there is no rule that requires prompt words to be written in bold. There are exceptions from time to time. My point being, the prompt words slotted in so elegantly, I never would have guessed. W/C was spot-on, which is no easy feat.

*Burstg*
Lasting impression
Fantastic write that reminded me of my preferred place to live. I have no doubt that the moment I hit submit, I'll remember incidents with signage.

Respectfully reviewed by

~Nixie
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews GroupOpen in new Window.


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4
4
Review of Collared Doves  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden. I found your item while cruising through random reviewing. Through "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window. I've credited many of your reviews, and I'm always impressed. It's my pleasure to review this prose.

*Vine1*
Inciting Incident
At first the title upset me, thinking that the doves were captives, held by a collar by some awful, crazy person. The cover art is stunning.

*Vine1*
Observations
The influence of the dove has carried you through your life, much as a good friend, now lost, or a deceased person is held in someone's heart. Even without the cover art, I could visualize the dove through your beautiful description. The Google images I found were not nearly as pretty as the one depicted here.

*Vine2*Mood
The mood was melancholy, and the free verse prose read smoothly, which is a challenge for me.

*Vine1*Word selection
Many fine words were chosen to complete the prose. *Right* 'sunburnt veld' had the strongest impact on me.

*Vine2*
The investigation
The interpretation of the colors i.e. pastel for innocence, black for strength. Me, being me, I was compelled to Google the dove. I learned they have red eyes and feet. The strength you mentioned may have eluded to their strength when flying. Their flight muscles take up nearly 44% of their bodies. What strength were you referring to?

*Vine1*
Looking inside, between the lines.
In the prose, I would interpret the strength as courage or the ability to defend itself (which makes no sense) similar to moths who can change their color according to the color with the bark of a tree. Or the alluring color of poisonous frogs.

*Vine2*
Going forward
Of course there's nothing to change now, but, going forward, remember to change the first genre from 'contest entry' to 'nature' or 'experience.' Inspirational also comes to mind.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Thank you so much for writing this haunting prose. I'm happy your past experiences live on in your mind.

Respectfully

An owl for reviewing.

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews GroupOpen in new Window.*SuitHeart*


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5
5
Review of Time passing  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Odessa Molinari I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Inciting Incident
I was hoping for a slip-stream story, and I found yours.

*Vine1*
Observations
Clothing from the 40's is so chic and elegant. The opening sentence showing Charmain choosing her clothing set the scene, though at the time, I didn't know what that might be.

I wasn't surprised by Charmain finding the letter in one pocket. There's nothing wrong with using a letter from the past to further the plot. Sometimes, commonplace quickly orients the reader.

*Vine2*
A new character
Wow, Fred had such a volitional reaction to Charmain wearing Irene's coat. That part was precisely what the story called for. We jumped from sweet and charming to anger.
The pace was changed. Charmain's a quick thinker. Confronted by the accusation, I'd probably freeze up.

When Charmain woke, a man in a railroad uniform may have been confusing, except you added the cell phone.

I wondered what "that's one attraction we tend not to advertise" meant. Was the train station a touristy place? The description was beautiful and romantic.

*Vine1*
Oops.
"Your not Irene." (You're)
Capitalize 'Passing' in the title.

Something to laugh about. My eyes saw Charmain as Charmin, as in TP.

*Burstg* Larger font, please.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
"You met Fred." clinched the conclusion.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie


Butterfly Book


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6
6
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Ricardo I found your item while cruising through random reviewing. Welcome to the most wondrous website for writers. I hope happiness and a sense of community comes to you, as it has for so many others.

*Vine1*
In the beginning
What a grand title, mirroring a few of my thoughts. I live a life of simplicity, a minimalist by nature. Items purchased soon lose the feeling of 'bright and shiny', whereas what we observe and practice becomes part of us.

*Vine2*
Observations
Plants. Some can be quite spiteful. I have a plant that refuses to accept water, which insults me. So, I remembered my mom telling me that she told her plants how much she hated them, yet they still bloomed. I used a similar approach, and now my plant is grateful and I am relieved.

*Vine2*
Questions
Can you help me understand the following? Do you see why I'm confused?
The Great Snow appears from nowhere. How can I explain this so it makes sense? How does heavy snow relate to a specific season? And why did a prediction of heavy snow prompt you to find the definition of 'great snow.' It was as if you'd heard the term already. I googled 'heavy snow' and found nothing the only mention was the Great Snow of 1717 and other non-related definitions and references.

*Vine1*
Thoughts from the ledge
Try using a larger font and correct paragraphing. I was distracted by the presentation.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
What counts the most is the rest of the story. Although loving the family by doing various things was repetitious. I understand, but maybe you could find a synonym or another way to phrase your reflections.

Your descriptions were so vivid they accentuated the exact point you were making.

My mom used to make 20 apple pies at once, and stored them in the giant freezer in our basement. When I asked her how she managed this task, she told me she thought about the happiness the pies would bring when she defrosted and served them.

What a beautiful sentiment sent from your friend. It was the perfect conclusion for the work.

Respectfully

An owl for reviewing.
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7
7
Review of Glass Pearl  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Chris Breva I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Inciting Incident
The title of items are the main draw for me, and I had to know what was meant by "Glass Pearl."

*Vine1*
Observations
Wow for Flash Fiction writing. An entire story told in only 179 that carries all the elements required? Fascinating.

Personification is my favorite literary device. But second to alliteration.
You named the clam. Excellent idea. I felt both sad and amused by Cynthia's interpretations throughout. The uncomfortable feeling made me think of a human's discomfort when something like a pebble is in their shoe.

I resent humanity's actions against nature. Here we have an innocent creature painfully pried apart. (At least that's how I imagined it feeling.) That thought didn't pan out though, because the clam was laid back and took life as it came. Something humans struggle with.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
That's not to say I would be entranced by seeing a glass pearl, but no way could I pull the clam open. This is where the irony is. Cynthia sees it only as what she first perceived. Lots of speculation here for the reader to play with. Well done.


Respectfully

An owl for reviewing.

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8
8
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, ChristineB I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Inciting Incident
I chose this piece because of the title. Mostly, predictions of the weather are wrong. Chance of rain, 60%, so I tote an umbrella. It never rains.

*Vine1*
Observations
The punctuation and line breaks were awkward and difficult to follow. The weatherman is grandiose, seeming to believe he creates the weather in his head. But then he relents and apologizes.

The last line affected me the most. The jingle goes "April showers bring May flowers." But that's not what happened here. The use of May with the M capitalized was clever. It did have me singing "Come What May" from the musical Moulin Rouge. Also, I was thinking about the Roman gods.

That last stanza was glaringly uneven. Of course, you have writer's largess, and it's your choice that matters. I would have like the lines broken up a bit more, more in keeping with the formatting.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Some say there are no seasons in Florida, but that's not completely true. Right now, we're in 'winter' with temps in the 40's. In the summer, it mostly rains. And then there's hurricane season...I digress.

The weatherman finally gives in, keeping his thoughts to himself. I hope the rain falls because it makes me sad to think of plants dying.


Respectfully

An owl for reviewing.

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9
9
Review of Cheaha Mountain  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Lou-Here By His Grace I found your item while cruising through random reviewing. I review quite a bit, but never have come across your writings.

*Vine1*
Inciting Incident
What exactly drew me in I don't know. I have an affinity for mountains and liked the name of the one in the title. Because the main genre was action/adventure, and the second drama, I expected just that. A few other genres come to mind
...non-fiction, biographical, nature...

*Vine2*
Waltzing through the stanzas
The pace is slow and thoughtful. We're living through the narrator's memories, as he sees what was in the theater of his mind.

At first the repetition of "Already old in the days of our fathers." threw me off, but after a third read, I liked it.

The second stanza seems to be a shift in time from memories to the present, no longer in the past. If he's already old, how can more peaks await him? Or is he on a journey of self-reflection? The brief description gave no clue. Later, in stanza two, we flip back to what is in his mind.

My world slowly devolves with steps,

This line in stanza four stood out, as if the prose was speaking to me. This is precisely the way I feel, and using the word devolves accentuated the message.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Perhaps I missed your intentions, but I like to hear about the reader's impression. This 'prose' was a bit muddled here and there, but overall, enjoyable.

Respectfully

An owl for reviewing.

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10
10
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Jeannie's Jingle Bells☃️ I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Inciting Incident
I'm drawn to anything revolving around the Native Americans. Therefore, the title drew me in.

*Vine1*
Observations
This biographical piece, which one might expect to find dry and factual was exactly the opposite. Your light and easy manner was easy and interesting to read. I found the details of what the tribes created from their surroundings exceptionally compelling.

My favorite part was about the tribe, Ouitunya, who named the territory, and how that translates into straight. I've studied a bit of Native American culture, and this is the first instance I've come across that's laughable.

The referral links to back up your piece were included. *Checkg*

*Vine1*
Personal connection. Our family never knew we were building our new house on a sacred Mohawk burial site, in NYS. All siblings and parents experienced supernatural events. Those memories worry me today.

oops
I found only two tiny Lapses of attention
Minnesota's other tribe, the Dakota Sioux's
a comma is needed after Sioux's

At the bottom, there is an invalid link.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
You're a lucky lady to be central to all this history. What we did to the Native Americans was beyond shameful, so it's relieving to learn about something positive regarding those people.


Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie


Butterfly Book


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11
11
Review of Haze  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi BScholl. Congratulations on your 15 years of membership.

Let me break from my normal format and kick off with my favorite line because it's remarkable in what it conveys.
I felt powerful in its presence. Somehow, it nourished me, fed me, pumped energy into me.

Interesting, the light wasn't beckoning him to the other side. Rather, it was nourishing him. The plot quickly showed the reader what was wrong with the narrator, by revealing the comment about his head wound. I thought the story would play out as a mystery, but all the paragraphs in the beginning left little doubt.

I also marveled at the sentence about his mom brushing his hair. I wonder if that's what brought him back? Something familiar and pleasant. I liked the description when the mom was introduced.

What a creative way to use the required word (tornado). I would have struggled to fit that in. My only thought that came to mind was how to incorporate the storm into the story. Nicely done!

Oops
I arose from my bed, and walked down the stairs.
(no comma)

In the first paragraph, it pleased me to know he had no fear. In the second sentence, the word (just) can be eliminated.

Comas are scary as some never wake up. The happy ending was touching. You certainly evoked some senses in 298 words. I don't like it when people ask me this kind of question, but where was the dad? Silly me. He didn't fit into the w/c. I guess you could have said (parents), but the mom's actions were much more poignant. It almost seemed as if I were with her.

I enjoy rising to the challenge of FF. Seems you do as well.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.

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12
12
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi BScholl. Congratulations on your 15 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
Perusing through all your FF entries, I chose this one. I liked the title and the brief description.

*Mushroombr* The comments
From the very first phrase the mood was established. (leotards?) Very humourous. At first I thought Tracy was a woman (because of the name). The scene instantly activates with Tracy's attempts and disastrous failures. I was shocked when he continued, hellbent to rekindle a spark lost in a marriage.

The attempts brought about some awful consequences, and this was both funny and full of action. I felt for the poor man's thorns stuck in his derriere. My mom always used that word.

*HeartG* Personal connection
One time, I climbed a ladder to the roof. I had my cell phone in case of trouble. No problem reaching the roof, but the first thing to go wrong was my cell sliding to the ground.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Oh, as if the plot leading to the conclusion was not enough, the ending kicked in with two unexpected twists.

I enjoyed reading this clever piece. Great work here.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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13
13
Review of My Sweet Miranda  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi Dave has company. Congratulations on your 19 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
The title and brief description read like a song. I never suspected the conclusion, because the first genre was romance/love, which usually ends as a boring happily ever after.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Here, we have two separate topics. Love and darkness-- the cartel responsible for the grisly conclusion. The drug cartel felt like a casual mention, a bit off beat.

I sincerely hope this isn't a personal experience. I'm also wondering if "Sweet Miranda" was written for a contest with a word count.

'They' say, life is only a roll of the dice. It's up to us how that roll will play out. Some of us don't get a chance. Our life is cut short in the most unexpected way.

*HeartG* Personal connection
I won't write about my daughter's car crash, she survived, but the seat belt broke her collar bone and scapula. She spent seven days in the hospital.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Other than the tragic ending, what really caught my attention was the repetition of how the narrator met Miranda on a cloudy day and then she died on a cloudy day.

Nicely composed.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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14
14
Review of Ode to Joy  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi Annie Congratulations on your 19 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
OOH. Look what I dredged up from 18 years ago!

What a tease, this title and brief description. I landed on the assumption, most likely, exactly as planned. Surely, this must be an ode for a special person.

*Mushroombr* The comments
I guess my mind was in the gutter, well, at least in the beginning it sounded a bit, um, sexy? Then I read the line about plaster. That didn't sum up to anything close as expected. Time to reset my thinking and read the last stanza.

*HeartG* Personal connection
I like Almond Joys with nuts. There was a jingle for the choice, "Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't."

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
Larger font, please.

Generally, I'm opposed to exclamation points in writing, specifically in short stories. Here, in this bit of a poem, the exclamation points found a proper home.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Candy bars lure me in. At times the siren call can be ignored. But my body insists on a bite or two of chocolate after dinner. I only eat the candy that has dark chocolate--less sugar, more chocolate. Less guilt.

Thanks for the laugh. What a super treat to read this early afternoon. Happy Anniversary.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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15
15
Review of Beliefs...  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi 🌖 HuntersMoon Congratulations on your 16 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
The cover art cracked me up.

Ken, I've always been impressed by your keen sense of humor. In some ways, I envy you. My mind doesn't ride on the rails of positivity. Rather it rides on the opposite side, ever into the dark tunnel. I'm dreaming of changing this someday.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Normally, I'd avoid a political piece, but knowing how lighthearted and optimistic you are, I wasn't afraid to take a peek. And then once I allowed myself to glance and ensure the Trump name was mentioned, combined with the 'left-leaning' comment, off I went for a careful read.

*HeartG* Personal connection
Um...this is a public review, so I hope those with differing opinions don't read this one. As of now, he's a threat to the little people and, honestly, I'm a little scared. Then I remind myself, nothing happens until it happens. Also, I have no control over what happens, so no need for stress.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
The rhyming scheme fell into place with accurate remarks concerning the three presidents. Of course, I'm applauding the last stanza and laughing all the while. Nicely done.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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16
16
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi Santeven Quokklaus Congratulations on your 14 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
I wasn't expecting what "20241212 Stages Of GriefOpen in new Window. entailed. I thought it would be about humans (not story characters, who are in a way alive) grieving.

*Mushroombr* The comments
The article, for lack of a better word, deals with actual fiction stories. Before I read this, I never thought about it. Maybe because I've never killed a character before. It's a fantastic idea.

You mentioned the room as a shrine. We've all moved away from our childhood home, but that's where my sister died. She was only thirty years old. For 10 years, no one was allowed to say her name. I know my mom still struggles. How can a parent overcome the grief of losing a child?

You presented the ideas in an easy to read format, with enough information to acquaint the reader and included a link. You covered every aspect. Well done.

*HeartG* Personal connection
No way am I going into too much of my personal losses. I can say that expected, or unexpected, the loss has no less impact on my life. My people live in my heart forever. As mentioned in one paragraph, The tragedy stays with us.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
My son, who did 2 tours in Iraq, is exhausted by people saying "Thank you for your service." Much the same, "I'm sorry for your loss," has lost all meaning, but I am sorry for your loss.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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17
17
Review of What Makes a Cat  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Rhoswen - Relentless Victory Congratulations on your 8 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
I adore cats, so this prose was the obvious pick.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Watching a cat is relaxing and soothing. In the various lines you capture your experience and the observations.

I hope that mouse was just for play, a toy. I once had a cat (I've owned several over the years) who was an exceptional hunter. Once he brought a dead rat, still warm, and plopped it at my feet, gifting me.

As for my interpretation, a tail swishing back and forth means intensity, especially while stalking. *Right* Did you mean to type swishing rather than switching? The spelling is so familiar...

*HeartG* Personal connection
December 2024 4th was the one year anniversary of putting down my cat. I'm still struggling. She was fascinating in so many ways. My prose would have been at least twice as long.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
If I had to guess, I'd say this poem was a one-off, written from the heart, light and breezy. There is so much more to a cat than what was expressed here. Had I any doubt, the final, comic line confirmed my supposition. I bet you had fun writing this.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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18
18
for entry "HelloOpen in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi Chrys O'Shea. Congratulations on your 12 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* What prompted me to read this?

I enjoy reviewing for anniversaries because it's a marvelous way to find members previously unknown.

*Mushroombr* The comments
The topic was a promise to yourself, encouraging you to write more. You fell short, but that's forgivable. We all have goals that don't always come to fruition. That's why I never write any promises to myself. I know that if the accomplishments are written, I'll never follow through. The task discourages, more than motivates.

It's possible I'm reading this sentence incorrectly, but the last part seemed contradictory. If you have a vast amount of ideas, why would you be struggling for something to write?


I always try to have too many things going on because they sound good, then I end up with an unfinished story hunting for something to write.

*HeartG* Personal connection

I have the same problem. My blog is mostly ignored. One reason I like to read blogs is because they're informal and telling. The author doesn't have to worry about getting everything right; it can be written as a flow of thoughts.

*Mushroombr* Final observations

You're working on writing books, which must consume all of your time. That's the spot where you will shine.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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19
19
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi DJ. Venson Congratulations on your 17 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
The title intrigued me and the brief description gave me a clue. Two elements that snare a reader from first glance. And the cover art was compelling. It's so striking; I'm happy you included the image at the top of the story. Sometimes, the cover art can't be appreciated in the small thumbnail box.

*Mushroombr* The comments
I did not like the man in this poem, at all. He sounded old-fashioned, and his complaints were childish. Did he ever consider helping his wife? Disgust was the driving force behind the vehicle of the story. I guess that's my biggest niggle with the poem. It felt out-of-date, with a cliche line or two. Seriously, he's upset because dinner wasn't ready? Sorry, but he's a jerk. If your intention was to bring that emotion on, it worked.

And then along came the taxi driver willing to help such a wretch. I liked the setting of the man standing in the rain because it showed the gloomy scene.

*Mushroomb*
A big round of applause for the taxi cab driver. I wondered how he could see around the man's baseless contempt. Compassion is rarely seen in our world. I'm always shocked when someone is nice to me.

The taxi driver represents man at its best. His words are gentle and cajoling, pointing out all the man in this story could possibly lose.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
I hope, for his sake, that he remembers the lesson for the rest of his life. And I hope his wife is the forgiving type because this tension felt as if it was an ongoing problem.

I wanted to lower the rating but then realized the unfairness of that. Just because I didn't like the main character, doesn't mean the work should be downgraded.

The last line highlighted the man's change of heart.
To my wife, I'll respectfully say,
Compassion drove a cab today."


Beautiful.


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.


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20
20
Review of Starman  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Ugly Christmas Sox Congratulations on your 10 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
The title brought all sorts of imaginings to mind. The brief description drove me forward to the story.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Overall, a charming story, enjoyable story. The simple setting ran throughout the story. Setting can be difficult when a w/c restriction is mandated. You did well.

I had to laugh at the romantic conclusion about heaven not being able to contain him.

As to the dialogue, the last sentence read choppy. (bad) at the end of the sentence was awkward and needed no punctuation since his passion is demonstrated in the next sentence.

with a heart starting kiss.
How can this be a heart starting kiss? Was her heart stopped? Just asking.

When I read (lightning) two thoughts came to mind. Death, or The Terminator appearing. In this case, lightning gave way to life. The way she slowly recognized bit by bit would heighten a reader's attention.

*HeartG* Personal connection
As a kid, I wished upon a star, even knowing the act was pure fantasy. I live in a large-ish city where only a few stars are visible. One time. One time only, I saw a shooting star.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
Try to choose all three genres available to gain exposure. "Romance" works, but so does fantasy and...I can't think of the third one.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
My star-streaking wish: Why does the guy in so many stories always have chiseled muscles?

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.

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21
21
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi LeJenD' Congratulations on your 19 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook/attack point
If a writer hasn't captured their reader's interest in the beginning, the work is most likely passed over. My interest, unfortunately, was the theme of growing old. I remember when dying at 80 seemed old, now people live into their 100's and beyond. I hope that doesn't happen to me. An aging body is no gift.

And, yes, about my first comment. You did catch me in your weaving of words.

*Mushroombr* The comments
As I read, it was obvious this poem followed a specific form. I'm sorry to say I can't comment on that. I write poetry, but only the common formats. ABAB or free from.

As the narrator ages, the last line caught me off guard. The (alas) felt out of place. She (?) seemed to be comfortable observing the seasons and relating them to her life, as if she were in acceptance of all to come. That's why 'alas' seemed contradictory. No big deal. Only an observation.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
So...the flower of youth isn't an overly unique way of showing the aging process. That doesn't mean the poem wasn't an enjoyable read. It's time to return to WdC. Maybe this anniversary review will reach out and tempt you.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
22
22
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Cynaemon Congratulations on your 21 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
My mom is in her 90s and just transferred over to a care center. I wonder how much longer she has. Anyhow, that's why I chose to read this poem. Now, I'm not so sure it was the best decision.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Good grief, this was a clever, if tragic piece. The idea of going backwards in time fascinated me. I've never seen that done before. And you did it very well. The conclusion was extremely heartbreaking and disturbing and gave a whole new meaning to the poem.

I lost my sister in 1983 and recreated a life for her in my mind. Recently, when my mom moved to the care center and had to clear out her freaking huge apartment, a few of my sister's creations were there, and I brought them home. Now, I feel even closer to her, but, what would our shared life have been like? Would we still live miles apart? I know we'd still be close.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Well, I don't want my personal story to overwhelm the masterpiece you've posted here. It truly was remarkable. I won't say "I'm sorry for your loss," even though I just did. The words have no meaning.

I think I'm happy that you shared this piece. It broke my heart. The work was long ago written, and I hope writing the poem helped you process your pain. It dims but never goes away, does it?

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.

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23
23
Review of Tender Touch  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi B4HEART Congratulations on your 23! years of membership.

*Mushroombr*The hook
I liked the title and kids, especially newborns. "Crocodile tears" didn't quite work for me, because they mean the tears aren't real born from fears. They are forced and insincere. I don't know of a baby who can fake tears.

*HeartG*

Personal connection
Oh, those sleepless nights are exhausting, but holding the child takes away some of the tiredness. I like the way this was written from the newborn's POV.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations

My favourite stanza. I've cried right along with the baby. Great job capturing the essence of a newborn and the mother.

"Hunger, teething, diaper-rash
Enough to make many tears clash"



Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews GroupOpen in new Window.*SuitHeart*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
24
24
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Ðungeon Щarden Congratulations on your 22 years of membership. You're practically a charter member.

And so it begins

Oh, wow, this is an original story. I smiled all the way through it, because the humour was subtle, which made it all the stronger.

What stood out?

Excellent job developing three strong characters, not counting the bird or dragon, that is. The back and forth dialogue was fantastic. The dragon could be a third character. The description of the ever-darkening forest was also entertaining.

Suggestions

What choice do I have? --- I can think of no other alternative.”
Missing quotation marks at the beginning of this sentence.

"I often awaken at sunrise," (said Mark,) "is that early enough?"

Mark said. This incorrect placement of said before the person's name needs to be adjusted throughout the entire story.

a young woman, dressed in a muddy pink dress, could be seen sitting on the ground/c}
no comma between (dress and (could).

This was meant...
This sentence needs to be dialogue or inner thought.


Final observations

I wonder if the first genre should be comedy? A good laugh is worthy of gold. Nicely done.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
25
25
for entry "EscapeOpen in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi An apple a day.... Congratulations on your 16 years of membership.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
If I had to give a concise and accurate reason for reading this particular piece of FF, I'd have to say it was the title that grabbed my interest. Why? My writings and thoughts are always on the run, escaping from what, I do not know.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
Talk about a surprise conclusion. I had to read this several times before the meaning became clear, due to the misdirection. Excellent approach to this story.
The third paragraph made me feel as if I were the one running, and every descriptive word added to the image theater in my mind.

*HeartG*
Personal connection
If possible, I would live in the mountains. That's why I liked the description of boulder placement. I marvel all the time at how that mountain formed and then spewed rocks in puzzling directions. To me, it's eloquent beauty expressed.

*Mushroombr*
Suggestions
If I fell, he might, too.
I wasn't clear on who (he) was.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
There are many ways to show a person dying. Yours was exceptional. *Star*


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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