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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/noisivid1
Review Requests: OFF
11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Most of the reviews I have done have been for books purchased on Amazon Kindle. What I am usually interested in is whether or not the story holds my interest, that I would want to continue reading. A lot of readers I have spoken with indicate they do not want a lot of description (they don't want to know how the apple glistened and was perfectly shaped and had a faint smell of sweetness, before the character takes a bite). They are more interested in the storyline with just enough description to help them paint their own picture. I agree, so this is something I look for. I am not an editor, but I will make a comment if their are several instances were sentence flow or grammatical issues are overly present. I am not a professional at this, therefore I will only offer an honest assessment of what the story presents to me. I will try to focus on the things that make the story enjoyable for me, and only comment on parts I may not enjoy in a constructive manner.
I'm good at...
Mostly just knowing what holds my interest and how the story line develops.
Favorite Genres
Romance, Drama
Least Favorite Genres
Poetry can mean so many different things to different people that I would typically shy away from this genre.
I will not review...
Stories with characters that rely heavily on four letters words for their communication style. Explicit sexual situations.
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Laurax

Because this is Chapter 6 I'm not entirely sure what the story is really about, other than devils and angels. Devils and angels can be a very interesting topic to write about as they represent two diametrically opposed notions - GOOD and EVIL. As this juncture I'm not sure which force you are using as your antagonist and as your protagonist.

Remember when using quotes, the action that follows and speaks to the quote is not capitalized. For instance your first quote. " Hurry up." Hissed Jennifer. Try instead - "Hurry up!" hissed Jennifer. Hissed Jennifer should be part of the quote.

You can also place it before the quote to break up doing it always after the quote. Jennifer hissed at him. "Hurry up! " I used an exclamation point because it has more emphasis in this case than a period.

Also remember that long runs of alternating dialogue can flow better when you don't follow every line wi - he said, she whimpered, he mused, etc. Throw those in with every now and then and try to keep from using them everytime.

I wish you luck in your endeavors and hope you keep plugging away.

Jeff - High Country Author
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