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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/notjackson
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132 Public Reviews Given
132 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am not an expert reviewer, but I have some small amount of talent in the field of writing. I will not edit your work, but typos, grammar mistakes, etc. will be pointed out if I see them. I will give you my impression of your work, encourage you, and do my best to review the work.
I'm good at...
I do my best, whether I am good at it or not.
Favorite Genres
Action/adventure
Least Favorite Genres
Science fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and
Least Favorite Item Types
No least favorites.
I will not review...
Novels.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next
1
1
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)
         Hello closscie,

You have made some good odservations in this. Yes, children, and even older students, should have a recess. Just as you pointed out, continuous learning without a break for a whole school day leads to a drop in retention reliability.

         I enjoyed reading this today, it was well thought out, and presented in the same manner.
Well done.

Regards,
jackson
2
2
Review of My Mother and I  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Hello,

         A sad tale . . . but told in a skillful manner. Sometimes love is always there, you can hide it, but you can't remove it.

         I noted no errors of any sort in the words with which you told this story. Your choice of words and phrases led me right to the end, and I was satisfied.

         Good work.
Regards,
jackson
3
3
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello Michelle,

You have written some very special words for a special one in your heart. I am sure she loved it. It's got a good rhythm, sort of like a song, flows across the page like rose water . . . and it's a very sweet and kind gift from your heart.

Regards,
jackson
4
4
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)



         Hello E Tyler,
From the pages of Read and Review, your short item appeared.
So sad . . . Things like this elderly woman passing probably happen all around us. Those of us who care, wonder why.

         You presented this in a great fashion, telling us of her emotions throughout her final days. How sad and lonely she became . . .

          I think I saw one little typo, Shouldn't (power eggs) be powdered eggs? Overall, a sad tale, and good work delivering it to the readers.

Regards,
jackson
5
5
Review of Acts of Love  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


         Hello Kenzie,
I just read your Acts of Love. I enjoyed how you explained yourself. I too, believe most holidays are a bunch of baloney. If you can't be kind and show love every day, why single out a particular day to do it?

          Your presentation of this item was just so, with nothing to catch the reader's eye in the way of punctuation or grammar.

Regards,
jackson
6
6
Review of Blue River  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (3.5)


Hello there Mary,
Your title called my name, so I took a look at Blue River. Your idea here is a good one, a river sitting all alone.

         If it's ok with you, I'll give you a few tips to make your beautiful words sound better.

         Below read your words with more punctuation, whether you use this information is up to you, as it is only my opinion.

         This wonderful river was sitting alone . . . with no companions. But when the sun shines on it, the river looks new. As a boat passes by, the surface of the river looks like glitter shining. The waves of the river sway as the boat passes along . . . I look, and I see a man by the river. He asks me, "What do you think about the river?"

          I tell him, "I have never seen such a beautiful river."

          Oh, I wish I could carry this river home with me, but there is too much water for me to carry this beautiful river. I am sad for the river, it can not come home with me.


Keep writing,
jackson
7
7
Review of Get Help!  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Hello Carly,
It's a good story you've written here, relatable to the reader who might have experienced such a scene. I am a reader of thousands of books, although I have no claim to being an editor, I recognize a good story when I have read one. This one goes in the good section.

Regards,
jackson
8
8
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello,
You have written a pretty good story here. The characters are sort of everyday people . . . believable. I liked your description of what they were wearing, and the back and forth banter between the lead characters. (Janice is a snit, lol.) The ending is great . . . anybody want a dog?

Regards,
jackson
9
9
Review of Immigration  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Hello,

Your piece is well thought out, and expresses a good opinion on immigration. It was presented well, without technical errors.

         There is truth that U.S. immigration needs more critical thought on the subject, and if possible, to make it more reasonable.

         I suggest that every immigrant should provide police clearance from their country to enter the United Stated freely, and live their lives in a good manner to become citizens.

Great work in writing this . . .

Regards,
jackson
10
10
Review of The Wood Spider  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


         Hello JoeMiller,
I once saw a spider on the wall, biggest one I ever saw. Got the flyswatter, but missed. I swear that spider hissed. 'Bout the size of my daughter's palm; I swung once more and it jumped on my back. (It really happened.)

Talk about being calm . . . I jumped up and down.

Enough . . .

         Your short story is hilarious. No errors. A good picture of havoc.

Regards,
jackson
11
11
Review of Scarce Attention  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello,
A commendable view toward geneaology. Your idea of short stories concerning our ancestors will surely help people to know, and feel the sometime hardships they endured. I noted no errors in your presentation of this work and enjoyed reading it.

Regards,
jackson
12
12
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (3.5)


          Hello momkeydaarya,
Good thoughts for a short few words. Since you want to improve, here we go . . .

Here's what you wrote . . .

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness , (comma out of place) I could make out a mysterious shape
in the corner of my bedroom. What used to be a gaming chair with my clothes flung across it had transformed into a black mess of a human figure blending with the darkness of my room staring directly at my soul. The cold seeped through my body ,rendering it motionless .Its red eyes drilled fear into the very core of my mind. As the drum of my heart burst through my chest and permeated the room.


Note the misplaced commas and periods in your writing and a few sentence fragments.



Below is how I would write this.


         As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could make out a mysterious shape in the corner of my bedroom. What used to be a gaming chair with my clothes flung across it, had transformed into a black mess of a human shape blending with the darkness of my room and staring directly into my soul.

         Fingers of ice seeped into me, rendering me motionless. The shape's red eyes drilled tendrils of fear into my mind, as the drum of my heart burst from within me and permeated the room.

         Note how only a few commas and a different choice of word has transformed this . . .

         I hope this helps you, it is only my opinion, for you to use or not to use.

Regards,
jackson
13
13
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello MoonChilde,

I don't know homelessness as an experience, but on occasions the feeling creeps up on me. It is good to hear from someone who has experienced it. Where I live, there are many homeless people. I will usually stop the taxi I might be riding in because I just saw a little girl or boy going from car to car at a stoplight right in the middle of the street.

Your piece of writing here is a fine example on what it might be like to be homeless.

Best wishes,
jackson
14
14
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)



Hello Joy,

I was peeking amongst the writing here on WdC, and Where, oh where? selected me to read it. I always loved that song.

          Your adaptation of it gives the reader insight inside the heart of someone longing to feel the love which they have lost once more.

         Well done.

Regards,
jackson
15
15
Review of Because of You  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)



         Hello Whitney,

I just read your work: Because of You. This is my impression . . . Great style, form, and a feel for putting words together in rhythm.
          I noted no errors in punctuation or grammar. The work sounded musical to the inner ears when read.

Regards,
jackson
16
16
Review of Colorado Moon  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)



Hello MikeDK,

Sweet! No errors noted in your presentation. I imagine riding across the plateau lands of Colorado when I read this, strumming a guitar and singing this.

Amongst the blue spruce and juniper trees I ride, dodging bullets from the sun. Waiting on the Georgia/Kentucky moon to shine on me once more, I urge the horse forward.

Great work.

Regards,
jackson
17
17
Review of The Party  
Review by jackson
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)



         Hello Bob,

Hey, this is great, the best story I have seen in a while. No mechanical errors were noted.

         A good mystery, with suspense, a little apprehension in the mind of your audience, and then the final touch . . . a great ending.

Regards,
jackson
18
18
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)



          These few words say so many things in less than a mouthful of speech . . . they make a person think of what might be . . . makes the heart jump . . . makes thoughts rush into one's head, makes them aware of themselves, and might make the path taken, be the right one.

Regards,
jackson
19
19
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello,
Now that's a western, filled with love, compassion, grit, daily life and some other things a man and his family might encounter.

I enjoyed your portrayal of Harlen, just an ordinary man facing his problems in a wise manner. And his wife, Jennifer . . . supports his efforts. A great story!

Regards,
jackson
20
20
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


         Here we go . . . Best wishes to Writing.Com today, and in the future.

         I decided to review this after I read it. Many exciting activities you have given us on September first. Thank you so much.

          This celebration can not be improved, it does't need to be. It's great as is. Maybe next year . . . The Merit Badge Exchange Activity is my favorite part, of course, because I am taking part.

         Thank you, Writing.Com.

Regards,
jackson
21
21
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello,

         I found this a refreshing piece of writing. No errors in puncuation, spelling or grammar revealed themselves upon the page.

          The central idea of a person learning to cooperate with nature was a good one. I enjoyed the descriptions of Ivy's feelings as they changed.

         Overall, the story is well written and consistent. Good work.

Regards,
jackson
22
22
Review of Should I?  
Review by jackson
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


         Hello,
Just a few words to say I read your story. It was great. The dialog almost told the whole story . . . well put together.

         I noted no errors in your presentatio of this story, either in punctuation or grammar.


Regards,
jackson
23
23
Review of Hot Pursuit.  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)

         Hello,

          I enjoyed reading your story. From my perspective, no tips on its improvement are necessary.

         It's funny, it's well written and presented. No mistakes in puncuation were noted. The only thing I might suggest is that you could have invited one of them home for a meal. (Just kidding . .) It's a great story.

Regards,
jackson
24
24
Review of Suitcase  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


         I see no grammar or punctuation mistakes in this writing.

         Yes, the suitcase of despair, held on to with courage because of the memories stored inside, because looking at it might begin a new life with better memories.

         I like it, great work.

Regards,
jackson
25
25
Review of Payback  
Review by jackson
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


Hello Sumojo,

I just finished reading your story. I enjoyed it. The style, and the way the characters talked was excellent.

         My rating is based soley on the content of the story, the way it was presented and two cents of whether I liked it.

         The ending was unexpected, great job.

Regards,
jackson
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