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480 Public Reviews Given
480 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am not an expert reviewer, but I have some small amount of talent in the field of writing. I will not edit your work, but typos, grammar mistakes, etc. will be pointed out if I see them. I will give you my impression of your work, encourage you, and do my best to review the work.
I'm good at...
I do my best, whether I am good at it or not.
Favorite Genres
Action/adventure
Least Favorite Genres
Science fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and
Least Favorite Item Types
No least favorites.
I will not review...
Novels.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Ride  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
"Anniversary Reviews" 
. . . a few comments for the potential readers of this story, and accolades for the author.

MadKitty, I like your stories. You're a natural storyteller. In this one, the four kids were banned from going to the creek to swing on the rope, Mom thought it was dangerous, so in their desperation for some good, solid entertainment, they busted out that little, red wagon. Mom was at work and Grandma was watching them. They told Grandma they were going to ride around some in the wagon, but they neglected to mention their destination.

Lickety split! In a beeline they went along the street to the top of a big hill. At the bottom of that hill was a cross street. Tommy went down first, and last. . . seeing as how he was the only one who went down.

The rest of the story is in the reading, and I recommend it to the readers on WdC. It's too good a story to go looking for misplaced commas, missing periods, or anything of that ilk. Besides, I didn't see any of those things. What I saw was a great story.

Regards, jackson
2
2
Review of ~My Love For You~  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
"Anniversary Reviews" 
Shadow, there is writing. Then there is the other kind of writing. When I looked at this item, I knew it was writing. The heart is where writing comes from; in that deepest part of us lie words of true love, words which only we can pull forth. In this item, you have pulled forth the sweetest love, the love of a mother for her child. I was surprised when I read this . . . pleasantly. In your words, a mother's love was captured and released on the page for us to read. Keep up the good work.

Regards, jackson
3
3
Review of Heart?  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
"Anniversary Reviews" 
Elby Wordsmith . . . yes, you are a wordsmith. And in this review I will compare the works of two smiths.

Long ago, and far away, in a book or in a dream, I stood watching as a blacksmith with his hammer pounded a twisted gob of metal. Sparks flew, he pumped the bellows, and something crawled out of the twisted gob. A bell it was: he picked it up and quenched its thirst, sizzling in the water bucket. . . . handed it to me, I rang it, perfection. And the end result in both this work of yours, and his so long ago . . . I felt perfection.

Regards, jackson
4
4
Review of Loneliness  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Shadow,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
As you say in this work, 'The people passing by keep walking . . .' I get it . . . loneliness is a disease of the heart. A word here, a smile, a gesture, and the heart is satisfied. When there is a drought from the passers by, the heart withers from loneliness. Good writing.

Regards, jackson
5
5
Review of Do Your Homework  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Johnny Barber,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Humor is the thing, and your story has a plentiful supply of this ingredient. The story is put together well and is easy to get the sense of. I enjoyed how it all unfurled. ...quick pace, cock-sure attitudes and bar hopping at its best.

Regards, jackson
6
6
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Mary Ann MCPhedran,
Flowers of Despair . . . good title.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
Flowers of Despair . . . is simple, yet complicated. Within its simplicity lies sorrow, the feeling of an empty heart, and the deep longing for more moments with the ones we love. Aptly named, Flowers of Despair carries the reader into the inner workings of the ones who stand there weeping . . .

Regards, jackson
7
7
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Rachel Harbachuck,
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

As I sit here reading this, I see someone standing in a forest. Delights are taken in by their eyes, mine also. I see a soft wind lifting the newer leaves collected on the earth, a rustle through time. The eyeless bones of an opossum stare vacantly past me. Life has lived here in ages past, and still makes its home here at the present time. An acorn, just a step away, slowly begins the magic of opening its leaves and sinking its roots into the ground. And me? I sit here satisfied . . .

Great work.
Regards, jackson
8
8
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Hatsuda,
How fortunate you are to have known your great-grandfather. Myself, I knew only one grandparent.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
I found your narrative about Samuel Nichols to be a warm tale of memories, and I envied your possession of so many photographs of your relatives. In the reading of this I saw the words were put together well. I could almost see some of the scenes you stitched together with words. Well done . . .

Regards, jackson
9
9
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
"Anniversary Reviews" 
Hello Marie,
Hey, don't be afraid to dive into the doo doo, as you call it. Take that dive, and come up with a smile on your face. From what I can see of your writing in this particular item, its great. You got your thoughts across so they were easily understood. Keep on writing! Your thoughts belong to you: you can express them as you wish. Happy WDC anniversary.

Regards, jackson
10
10
Review of The Eye Weeps  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hello Rose Red,
'The Eye Weeps,' is a fine poem. I don't want to mess with it. The words stand firmly on their own legs. The lines seem to fall together effortlessly. To me, one line stands out. I think the first word of the sixth line should begin with capital letter, for consistency, as all the other lines are constructed in this manner. Fine work.

Regards, jackson
11
11
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)


Bearclaw,

Good flow, a well written example of interaction using dialog . . . It's exciting, with details liberally splashed here and there, just enough that the reader follows along to get the sense of being there. Overall, it's well accomplished, with a voice that knows how to write a western story. A delight to read . . .

Regards, jackson
12
12
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (3.5)


*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews"  is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!*CakeP*


MD Maurice,

I enjoyed your story. Generally, the spelling and grammar were correct. The flow sped coherently from the beginning to the end. I liked the energy, and the pace of the story throughout.

Some things I noticed are below. I also noticed that you write well.

In the sentence below, I think you need to add a word for clarity. The added word is in bold letters.

The bar was a ramshackle structure with lemon yellow wood siding and a grimy-looking sign hanging above the door that proclaimed, Capt. Tony’s Saloon.

It's always a pleasure to see a sentence which ends with a question mark, then the writer begins the next word with a capital letter, as I am a firm believer that a question mark terminates, not only the question, but the sentence itself. Case in point below:
Why is it in a bar?” Mina asked. Of course, in the highlighted sentence, the word following the question mark is a proper name and would be capitalized in any case. Still, I enjoyed seeing it.

For consistency, there needs to be a double space between the second and third paragraphs, as all the other paragraphs have a double space between them.

*Smile*

jackson

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~
13
13
Review of Passing  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~


          shaeve,
... great story of an old man remembering his, passed away, wife as he sits in a church. Your descriptions of his feelings leave us knowing how his heart is torn. A piece of it is missing... He knows as he sits there, he will soon join her.
•
Suggestions
•
He was old, grey, and tired, the illness bravely battled had consumed him, body and soul.
•
He was old, grey, and tired, the illness comma bravely battled comma had consumed him, body and soul.
•
Words not essiential to the meaning of a sentence should be separated from the other parts of the sentence by commas.
•
I think the elipsis in the last line needs a space between it and the continuation of the sentence.
•
Her beautiful face gazed lovingly, (eyes reaching out...he smiled.)

Regards, jackson
14
14
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

G. B. Williams,
A tragic story, your brother having cancer. You told your story in a fine manner. My sympathy goes out to you. (As an aside, cancer seems to run in my family.) I understand the feelings of loss and the pain in your heart. Your story is heartfelt . . .
•
*Bullet* Suggested edits
•
He said Linda (my nickname); I am not scared, and I am not going to try to run from this.
•
You should probably write the above sentence like this: He said, "Linda, (my nickname), "I am not scared, and I am not going to try to run away from this." • The semicolon needs an independent clause before it, and an independant clause after it.
•
My brother is a few years older than me, and like me grew up during the hard times in America, especially in the south.
•
My brother is a few years older than me and, like me, grew up during the hard times in America, especially in the south.
•
(like me) in the above sentence, should be set apart from the rest of the sentence by commas, before and after.

Regards,jackson
15
15
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

•
          PureSciFi,
It's a delightful story, the dog and the owl are having a dispute. It seems the situation has changed somewhat, before the dog did not mind the actions of the owl. But the dog now has a young child who needs sleep. Every night the owl lands on the dogs house and hoots all night. Sleep? Not much. The dog and the owl present the problem to the cat who's a Go-Between. She is supposed to solve the problem. She does, by coaxing the owl and the dog to discuss the situation and solve the problem themselves. Great story...
•
Edit suggestions
•
The Cat, her name was Tiffana, looked at the Owl, her name was (maha,) because she...
•
The Cat, her name was Tiffana, looked at the Owl, her name was Maha, because she...
•
"You said earlier it wasn’t Maha landing on your house on a daily basis (it) what she did afterwards that’s the problem."
•
"You said earlier it wasn’t Maha landing on your house on a daily basis comma it's what she did afterwards that’s the problem."
•
"I may not show it, but I have been listening to (very) word you have said."
•
"I may not show it, but I have been listening to every word you have said."
•
"Okay, so what is the problem (here.")
•
"Okay, so what is the problem here question mark"

It was a fun story to read, thakks for sharing.

Regards, jackson
16
16
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
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         MayDay,
You have written an interesting story... Short, yet with all the elements a story needs to survive its readers. I assume the story is set in some future Earth, but in this case, the where of the story doesn't matter. In your story, it's the what and the who of the story which gets it off the slushpile. Toddler 9 is the who, surrounded by a good assortment of supporting characters, Toddler 9 sets out on a drive ... to where, and why, he does not know. The what is the drive itself ...
•
You're being driven somewhere, where you don't know, and why is just as allusive. You are taken to a large unfamiliar building, navigate the elevators sucessfully and wind up the journey as you look at your Mom holding your new sister, Toddler 10.

I suggest one little change in this sentence: I come closer to see what she is holding.
•
I go closer to see what she is holding.
•
It's a fun story; I enjoyed it.

Regards, jackson
17
17
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)
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CottageInTheGlen,

If it's a novel, a few things need to be tightened up a little. As it is, and as the story flows, it seems to be quite good.
*Bullet*
A part of your story as typed...
•
I come to an all white hallway, less dizzy than I had been a moment ago. Abnormally high
ceilings, abnormally dark and quiet. There seemed to be a light shining down every mile,
the rest, I was on my own, I suppose. One young girl creaked through the door behind me,
just a moment later, the coffee shop was closed, the mountains quiet, the eagle had landed for the
night, with the last slam and clang of the metal door, and large footsteps getting more quiet as
the last person left. I had no choice but to continue, I couldn’t rest here, but I wasn’t sure
why I was still here at all.
• Edit suggestions
I come to an all white hallway, less dizzy than I had been a moment ago. There were anormally high ceilings, abnormally dark and quiet. There seemed to be a light shining down every mile period For the rest, I was on my own, I suppose. One young girl creaked through the door behind me, just a moment later, the coffee shop was closed, the mountains quiet, the eagle had landed for the night, with the last slam and clang of the metal door, and loud footsteps getting more quiet as the last person left. I had no choice but to continue, I couldn’t rest here, but I wasn’t sure why I was still here at all.
*Bullet*
It's a good start, seems written well, with good grammar, you just need to type each sentence until your cursor automatically moves to the next line.

Regards, jackson
18
18
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

•

          BeeSmith,
Sweet! Funny. Excellent. That day in the park, Jade was enjoying her day out. Out of nowhere, the human-like robot siddles up, steps into her personal space, a hair's breath from her. In the next moment, she thought it was hitting on her... "Nature lover?" It spoke to her.
•
"Back off!"

"No harm intended."

"You sure?"

" Hey, look at this."
•
The robot hands her a small object, crystal-like. The crystal starts doing things to the robot, tripping him, causing him to fall, etc. I thought it was a funny story.
•
You might consider changing this line in the second paragraph: surrounded by the vivid green leaves and the clear, throaty warbling of a nearby bird. Could the sound of a single bird surround her? Warbling of nearby birds would fit better.
•
Thanks for sharing your excellent story.

Regards, jackson
19
19
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

          Sean Yeardley,
I enjoyed the scene where Gregor is in the tavern, he is covered with debris, has to fight his way out of it, when he does, he sees the cause of the wreckage.
•
I know it's hard to find all the errors in a manuscript, just when you think you have erradicated all of them, another one pops up. Below are a few I noticed.
•
(a) The main door into the tavern was buried in (rubble.Blast,) he thought.
•
You need a space between the period after rubble and Blast
•
(b) Her confusion obvious.
•
The sentence has a pronoun, a noun and an adjective, but no verb. You could fix this in a couple of ways. Add a comma to the sentence just before, Her confusion obvious and continue that same sentence with, her confusion obvious. Or add was to the sentence. Her confusion was obvious.
•
Thanks for sharing... good luck with the rest of the story.

Regards, jackson
20
20
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Beach Raid
Bodhisatta Parekh,
Dear Charlie... What I saw here today in this letter: A few words remembering a companion. A loyal companion. In the night, asleep, to hear his meow was comfort.
•
Well-chosen words, details and Charlie's love were included in the package. And the love you shared...
•
Well said, heart-felt, Good flow, and genuine. Thanks for sharing.

Regards, jackson
21
21
Review of Unseparated  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
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Image #2342990 over display limit. -?-
Bodhisatta Parekh,
Unseparated, is a fine tale dealing with Rosy, a girl, and John, a cat. I will, during this review, explain below, how I felt and what I thought while reading Unseparated.
•
I'll begin with Rosy. To me, Rosy was an ordinary girl, full of life and love, as all girls are. I got the impression that Rosy , by the time she came to live with John, the cat, lived alone. (This is not stated in the story, it's only a feeling I received while reading it.) One day in her life, Rosy acquired John. Before having John in her life, I don't think Rosy knew how to communicate with a cat. Yes, she could, if she had a cat, hold it in her arms, stroke its fur to bring forth its sounds of contentment, and give it the love of her heart... but she hadn't realized she could see their thoughts. But with John, she could see everything, his thoughts, his happiness, his contentment... This bond held Rosy and John tightly, as both John and Rosy could see each other in their entirety.
•
The cat, John, was not just a cat. Mostly, he was quite like other cats. Contrary to the scientific law of the world, which burdens mankind with the scientific assumption that animals can not reason, much like other cats, John could. Poo on science . . . Brought to life beneath a tree of myth, the jasmine tree, John was bequeathed with powers beyond the minds of men. If John wanted to do this or that, John could. John was a simple cat, all John needed in his life was food, love, companionship and tranquility.
•
And so the days of the years passed, his life with Rosy gave him contentment. Alas, after years of happiness with Rosy, John passed into the light...
•
Some time went by, as fate would have it, or as reality would have it, Rosy was attacked in her home. The would be rapists were taken aback when there came John. John's fury struck them down, one was killed, the others ran far away, never to return.
•
In her gratefulness, Rosy knew, that despite death, John would love and protect her forever. There, not so far from the jasmine tree, life went on. Now, Rosy had a different kind of happiness in her heart.
•
*BulletB*
Unseparated is a great story, with love, imagination, good details, tragedy and renewal. Thanks for sharing...

Regards, jackson
22
22
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)
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Image #2342990 over display limit. -?-


         minniemouse,
I enjoyed reading your story of Mogi, a young, thirteen year old boy. The story has a lot of detail. You're good at writing details. Of course, it was an exciting read, too. The story revealed your imaginative writing style.
•
The only issues in the story are those of punctuation. Punctuation helps us hear and imagine the words as we read.
You mentioned, in your reply to my other review, that you're not good at capitalization or punctuation, but you can learn. It's not so hard...
If you start with only two things, and learn them, you have accomplished a lot. I suggest you try these two things as you write.
1 Remember when a person speaks in your story, that it is always a different sentence, because it came from another source. Always begin a person's speech with a capital letter.
2 The other thing to remember, any sentence's first word begins with a capital letter.
•
Punctuation issues
•
1 People rushed over to
what caused it, then a voice on the loudspeakers said; “do not be afraid, we have the situation under control.
•
People rushed over to see what caused it, then a voice on the loudspeakers said; “Do not be afraid, we have the situation under control.
•
2 Luckily there was only one badly behaved child. His name, was Móguǐ zhīzǐ.
•
Luckily comma there was only one badly behaved child. His name no comma necessary at this point was Móguǐ ...
•
3 So, naturally, they kept close watch over the amazingly behave children, and ignored the badly behave ones.
•
So, naturally, they kept close watch over the amazingly behaved children, and ignored the badly behaved ones.
•
4 now, Móguǐ was a bit of a rebel, so no one ever suspected that he could possibly be the; Sādàn zhīzǐ.
• Now,, Móguǐ was a bit of a rebel, so no one ever suspected that he could possibly be the delete the semicolon, no punctuation necessary at this point. Sādàn zhīzǐ.
•
A semicolon is used to connect two complete sentences, which if separated, could be a complete sentence on their own. Example: I opened the door for the cat; it went outside.
•
5 everyone called Móguǐ Mogi, because Móguǐ was Chinese for devil.
•
Everyone called Móguǐ comma Mogi, because Móguǐ was Chinese for devil.
•
6 you may have won, and you may have servants, but I have something better, Love!” the crowd
•
"You may have won, and you may have servants, but I have something better, love!"
•
7 "Your puny amount of love has no effect on me,” Mogi said without thinking, “and the way you are trying to defeat me is (futile,"
•
"Your puny amount of love has no effect on me,” Mogi said without thinking, “and the way you are trying to defeat me is futile period ”
•
8 “Give up queen Lilac!”
•
“Give up queen comma Lilac!"
*BulletB* I enjoyed reading Playing Charades Chapter 1. Keep up the good writing, and thanks for sharing...

Regards, jackson
23
23
Review of Yip!  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
imagevfor group

          No Sox with Sandals,
Yip! Yip! Yip! I like your story... The neighbor's dog comes bouncing into their yard, anxiously looking for the perfect place to make a deposit. Little does Old Spot know that his long overdue comeuppance was mailed yesterday, and has already been delivered. Seems the man applied pepper spray to his entire yard.

Now, dogs just don't get it... about making their deposits in their own account, seems they enjoy sharing the wealth with the entire neighborhood, especially with their nice, next door neighbor. But on this particular day, after checking his balance with a sniff or two, Old Spot discovered his account was closed with no prior notice. Yip! Yip! Yip! After getting a dose of the pepper spray, Old Spot skedaddled ...
•
... great story, makes me laugh. More! More!

Regards, jackson
24
24
Review of Post-destroyed.  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (3.5)
imagevfor group

          V...
Post-destroyed, in reading this item, I find it to be an opinion piece. Everyone has opinions... Yours seems to be that you hate romance. Actually, to some degree, I dislike romance. Not romance in general, that I hold a great affinity for. I love romance.
• What I don't like is cheesy, half-baked romance storys. But if done well, with a storyline, a romance story can be good. (Not the same old tired plots you seem to see in every romance novel). I'm talking about a real storyline, a storyline that is original, exciting and with action.
•
Your piece seems to be well thought out, with details explaining your opinion, with a few thoughts on your father's ideas on romance. Good job... Write onward...
•
Below are some punctuation issues for you to consider at your discretion.
•
(a) A snake without (its') hiss.
•
A snake without its hiss.
• The apostrophe is not used with its. Its shows possession just the way it is. ( The same as yours.
•
(b) A bear without (its')• growl. You don't need it. But without it you are defenseless or so they say. Though many may find this to be a depressing contrast I find it to be perfectly written.
•
A bear without its growl. You don't need it. But without it comma you are defenseless comma or so they say. Though many may find this to be a depressing contrast comma I find it to be perfectly written.
•
(c) Yet although older people rant to me about finding "the one" but I prefer to find myself instead.
•
Yet although older people rant to me about finding the one comma I prefer to find myself instead.
•
(d) When in reality it's never going to arrive.
•
When in reality comma it's never going to arrive.
•
(e) In fact comma it will most likely be stories comma instead of this depressing, despair inducing writing.
Additional comments
I enjoyed your writing, it was generally well thought out and presented.Thanks for sharing.

Regards, jackson
25
25
Review of Rosebuds  
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
imagevfor group
          sinbad,
From the list of works at Read and Review, I noticed this little gem of roses, I am at a loss in trying to review this ... The words won't come. I am speechless after reading Rosebuds. Because it's so good. I don't know much about poetry, although I write it from time to time. (Free verse.) I'll just comment, because in that, I know the words.
*BulletB*

Perfect! Each word builds upon its predecessor and each line is, if it is possible, better than the one before it. A sweet, melody of rhythm carries each line on its back, resonating at its ending with the voice of rhyme. And with the last line, you want more... This reader does. Great work...

Thanks for sharing...

Regards, jackson
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