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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/novacatmando
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146 Public Reviews Given
659 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Carpetbag  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)


Wonderfully original *Delight*!

~ NOVAcatmando
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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Delightful! And such an interesting title... it drew me in for a read.

Write On!

~ NOVAcatmando
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Review of Silence  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

A calm sort of silence....

nicely written...

Thank you!

~ NOVAcatmando
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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Yay, more fun and games! Cute sig, too! *Smile*
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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Yes, now that you mention it - why is Psalm writing a thing of the past? Wonderful idea and I like the sentiment here.

I'd suggest changing the word Hear to lowercase, so "To hear, O Lord," matches "To bless, O Lord,".

Write On!

~ NOVAcatmando
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Review of Safe at Dock  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: A glimpse into Autism and/or Sensory Integration disorder gives us a small taste of how it feels to live as this person.

What I liked best: I liked the subject-matter. I don't often see writers attempting to cover unique perspectives like this.

Theme/Title/Prompt: Excellent work all around.

Rhyme/Form/Flow: The rhyme and the flow of this poem are well-done, SW Poet, I was not disappointed with your talent *Delight*.

Mood/Emotional Impact: Emotionally it does a bit more telling than showing, I was hoping for more intensity. These children can be passionate.

Imagery: The over-arching imagery of "Safe at Dock" was wonderful. I think the imagery of waves and docks was prominent in the first and third stanza, while it was absent in the second.

Spelling and Grammar: Perfect!

Suggestions: I would suggest moving this subject matter out of a traditional form into a freer structure, and to use sound and form devices that mimic the chaotic internal nature of the Autistic. It would intensify the emotion. And you could expand the text to include more imagery and experiences. It was such an interesting read it left me wanting more *Thumbsup*.


Great job - keep painting pictures with words!

NOVAcatmando


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Rising Stars Member-to-Member Review
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Review of Grammarama  Open in new Window.
for entry "It’s vs. Its" Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"Title: It’s vs. Its"

The best explanation I've read on this grammatical nuance.

Thanks,
NOVAcatmando
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Review of Humor  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, I am sending this review as part of The MB Birthday Bonanza.

For those readers who are familiar with 🌕 HuntersMoon Author Icon, his writing is elegant, mature, and inspirational; except for the poems in this folder. In here, you will the typical wit of 🌕 HuntersMoon Author Icon, you may be able to stretch for the word “insightful”, but mostly the poems contained here are just for laughs. There is the usual ease of rhyme and use of poetry forms, but his topics and word choice are definitely racy.

I enjoyed (reading) seeing a different side to this writer, and I would recommend this folder for anyone who does not offend easily and is looking for a quirky laugh. The items are appropriately rated and labeled, in my opinion, but do tread cautiously if this is a concern for yourself.

Write On!

Sláinte agus Síocháin,
Health and Peace,

NOVAcatmando


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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: Lovely in a natural language way.

What I liked best: The opening scene and its description.

Mood/Emotional Impact: Sweet and lighhearted.

Spelling and Grammar: No errors noted.

Suggestions: It seemed to me that the focus of the narration jumped heads from Dolly's to Betty's. This struck me in paragraph #8 when Betty's internal thoughts were narrated "...but should she risk herself by trying to warn her of the danger?"


Good job. Write On!

NOVAcatmando

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Rising Stars Member-to-Member Review
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Review of Love, Mom  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Unratable.)
This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: This is a clever little story written for the Writer's Cramp. Nicely well-written for this tight deadline.

What I liked best: The ending twist.

Theme/Title/Prompt: Excellant! The description line on this item is funny too, after reading the story.

Spelling and Grammar: No errors noted.

Suggestions: You could quietly foreshadow the end; perhaps in the paragraph about his mother's possessions.


*Smile*Good job. Write On!

NOVAcatmando

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Rising Stars Member-to-Member Review
11
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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Nicki,

I read your latest awarded shortstory, “Homage” - fantastic *Thumbsup*, though I choose to review this item since poetry is my first love…

This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression:

You may be thinking "Yikes" since I’m swimming against the rest of the school on my rating for this poem – but it is of course just one opinion.

I love the shape of this poem. I mean, I (( l O v E )) the shape of this poem! Not just the whale fins, but also the way you mimicked the waves in the ocean by varying the letter sizes below. *Heart*

The narration in the poem is wonderful as well, it is not too often that we get to read first person from a young whale’s perspective. Top points for creativity *Thumbsup*. I confess, though, I would have liked to see more sensory imagery, because I imagine living in water as an engrossing tactile experience. First person narration gives you that opportunity.

I found some areas of concern in regards to the iambic meter. After spending so much time looking at this meter when teaching it earlier in the summer, I might have microscopic eyes for this now. Or I could be totally off base. Here are my thoughts:

My name is Dylan, “Lover of the Sea.”
>> I think the word “of” is unstressed, and you used it later in the poem in an unstressed location:
instead of arid west

the day that I was born
>> Yes, I think the word “I” is stressed, but later in the poem you used it in an unstressed location:
but found I was depressed

There were a couple more meter questions I had, but since the meter is not requisite, I think you could simply remove that from the description line and let the poem stand on its own.

Suggestions:

If you did want to edit, I suggest scrapping the push for iambic meter, because this would allow you more freedom in word choice, and the imagery in this poem could be enhanced. For instance the sentence, “A whale lives under contract most exact,” feels a little off to me since whales don’t sign contracts, or even have appendages with the potential of opposable thumbs. I think if you were less constrained by meter, you could achieve a better analogy.

You know I love your writing, dearest Nicki, this creative poem included! I feel like I could rate it higher without the meter, and again the meter points are just my humble opinion.

Good job. Keep painting pictures with words!

Your fan and friend,
NOVAcatmando

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Rising Stars Member-to-Member Review
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Review of Tasting Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
To make this line "Mouths open wide" iambic I'd suggest:

my mouth a’wide
our mouths a’wide

*Smile* Write on...

~ Catherine
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Review of Namaste  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: The goodness in me can see the goodness in your poem.

What I liked best: The yoga inspired subject-matter, I just wrote one recently about kundalini.

Theme/Title/Prompt: I loved that fact the title says it all, and you don't overtly use the word yoga anywhere.

Rhyme/Form/Flow: Flow is most important here, given the subject matter, and you did a nice job on the fluidity of the words.

Mood/Emotional Impact: Beginning each stanza with the word "I" is very centering, again mimicking a yoga practice. The mood follows accordingly.

Imagery: "Merging the leeways
Of genesis streams"
a wonderful way to describe meditation

Spelling and Grammar: no errors seen.

Suggestions: In the last line, the word “recurring” sounds dissonant in between that words ageless and sacrament, which both have a softer vowel and consonants - nice "ah"'s.

Perhaps replacement it with:
ongoing,
or
rounds of


Lovely job. Keep painting pictures with words!

NOVAcatmando

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Rising Stars Member-to-Member Review
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Review of Ben's  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: A playful poem.

What I liked best: the lesson "don't bite the hand that feeds you" *Laugh*

Rhyme/Form/Flow: The rhyme and the flow were the best parts of this poem (outside the storyline).

Mood/Emotional Impact: Light.

Imagery: I didn't see much imagery which is an area that can be improved upon, me thinks.

Spelling and Grammar: No spelling errors. Since you capitalized the beginning of each line, then you could remove the commas and achieve a faster read.

Suggestions: I suggest adding imagery about the restaurant. It says a fine restaurant - are there white linen tablecloths? or funky colored modern placemats? Does Ben wear a formal chef's hat? that comes ascew once bitten? etc...

The poem made me smile, good job. Keep painting pictures with words!

NOVAcatmando

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Review of FLEET STREET  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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The following is a review of "FLEET STREET" Open in new Window., submitted as Assignment (Week #3) for the class Tuesday Morning Cantos offered through "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..


*Note1* Emotional Impact: A quirky poem with an unusual topic for a Tanka poem. A fun read.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:

There were 2 requirements to the assignment, first write a chained Tanka poem and second incorporate at least two of the poetic devices covered in this lesson: Alliteration , Assonance, and Consonance.

“Tanka is a Japanese poetry style that dates back to the 5th century. The poems were originally written to mark a special occasion or moment. They traditionally contained five lines and 31 syllables in a 5-7-5-7-7 fixed syllable pattern.”

*Check* You did a great job with the Tanka form, with perfect syllable count. It did not have the commemorative quality of a traditional Tanka, which might have made it harder to tell a story within this tight format.

*Check* I counted all of the devices used in this poem. In fact repeatedly, you really went to town on the sound devices in this poem. Bravo! *Thumbsup* My favorite is “Metal stilettos tempo.”


*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:
More for pauses than structure, and that’s OK *Smile*.

*Star* Lasting Impressions: Great musically quality here, I feel as though I could “rap” this poem. Nice work!


*Note5* I will send you a private email with your grades. Please continue to engage in the weekly discussion. Don't forget to visit often "The Canto Café" Open in new Window.!

Write On!
~ Catherine~
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Review of Glorious Moon  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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The following is a review of "Glorious Moon" Open in new Window., submitted as Assignment (Week #3) for the class Tuesday Morning Cantos offered through "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..


*Note1* Emotional Impact: A style of a commemorative poem in the Tanka tradition, the imagery here scorns the sun and honors the moon.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:

There were 2 requirements to the assignment, first write a chained Tanka poem and second incorporate at least two of the poetic devices covered in this lesson: Alliteration , Assonance, and Consonance.

“Tanka is a Japanese poetry style that dates back to the 5th century. The poems were originally written to mark a special occasion or moment. They traditionally contained five lines and 31 syllables in a 5-7-5-7-7 fixed syllable pattern.”

*Check* You did an excellent job with the Tanka form, with perfect syllable count .

*Check* I counted all three of the devices used in this poem. My favorite is “scintillating, silver shine.”


*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:
Well-done!


*Star* Lasting Impressions:
Wonderful work this week, you seem at home in a traditional form and I always enjoy your gentle imagery.


*Note5* I will send you a private email with your grades. Please continue to engage in the weekly discussion. Don't forget to visit often "The Canto Café" Open in new Window.!

Write On!
~ Catherine~
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Review of The Rose  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

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The following is a review of "The Rose" Open in new Window., submitted as Assignment (Week #2) for the class Tuesday Morning Cantos offered through "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..


*Note1* Emotional Impact: There is a serious case of - ummm - pining - happening in this poem. I liked the intensity of word choice, it helped the reader feel the ardent wanting. *Thumbsup*


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:
There were 2 requirements to the assignment, first write a narrative poem and second incorporate the five senses.

*Check* You did a great job with the narrative form, there is a definite storyline here and it is interesting to follow.

*Check* (sight,sound,smell,taste,touch)
Reading taste into "swallowed", I saw four of the five senses used in this poem - sound, sight, taste and touch - great job!


*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:
I do think punctuation is useful in narrative forms; as can be some dialog. You used naturally punctuated prose - nice.


*Note4* Suggestion:
This week I'm adding suggestions to everyone's review. These are based either on providing a "gap" for the reader, or that you did provide a gap and something "crept" through it for me. Merely opinion, I hope you take it in that spirit.

To take this poem to the next level, I'd suggest added two items which will increase the intimacy. First, using a first name for her somewhere in the story. Second, add a piece of dialog, even if it is just one line so that part of what's revealed can be "heard" by the reader (show/don't rule).

Also, on this passage:

As days passed she turned blue pining for his love.
The intoxicating smell of his body
tantalized her and the red rose turned yellow.

Since he is gone at this point - perhaps:

As days passed she turned blue pining for his love.
Intoxicating thoughts of his manly smell
tantalized her, and the red rose turned yellow.

*Star* Lasting Impressions: A well-written narrative poem about love spurned.

*Note5* I will send you a private email with your grades. Please continue to engage in the weekly discussion. Don't forget to visit often "The Canto Café" Open in new Window.!

Write On!
~ Catherine ~
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Review of Betrayal  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)

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The following is a review of "Betrayal" Open in new Window., submitted as Assignment (Week #2) for the class Tuesday Morning Cantos offered through "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..


*Note1* Emotional Impact: You had me hooked on the very first line! The reader is immediately drawn into the poem to sit quietly alongside the narrator and watch this clandestine activity. *Thumbsup*


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:
There were 2 requirements to the assignment, first write a narrative poem and second incorporate the five senses.

*Check* You did a great job with the narrative form, there is a definite storyline here and it is interesting to follow.

*Check* (sight,sound,smell,taste,touch)
I saw three of the five senses used in this poem - sound, sight and touch - good job!


*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:
Lacks punctuation but your four line stanzas do provide structure.
I do think punctuation is useful in narrative forms; as can be some dialog.


*Note4* Suggestion:
This week I'm adding suggestions to everyone's review. These are based either providing a "gap" for the reader, or that you did provide a gap and something "crept" through it for me. Merely opinion, I hope you take it in that spirit.

To take this poem to the next level, I'd suggest added two items which will increase the intimacy. First, since the woman is the narrator's brother's love, he'd know her name, so I'd suggest dropping the use of her first name somewhere in the middle of the story. Second, add a piece of dialog, even if it is just one line so that part of what's revealed can be "heard" by the reader(show/don't rule).


*Star* Lasting Impressions: A well-chosen scene that has implications beyond the moment described.

*Note5* I will send you a private email with your grades. Please continue to engage in the weekly discussion. Don't forget to visit often "The Canto Café" Open in new Window.!

Write On!
~ Catherine ~
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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

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The following is a review of "Ode To A Working Man" Open in new Window., submitted as Assignment (Week #) for the class Tuesday Morning Cantos offered through "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..

*Note1* Emotional Impact: I thought this was a very original subject matter and the last line made me laugh. This ode has a light-hearted style.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:

Through the use of short and rhyming lines you have created a lyrical pattern to the ode - nice job!

In the line: "Separate the Kingdom", the word Kingdom seems to be a bit of a stretch to achieve the rhyme scheme.

*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:
No punctuation was used, just the capitalization of each line beginning, and given the brevity of the lines it works well.

*Star* Lasting Impressions:
A wonderful little write and thanks for choosing an interesting topic. Good to have you in class!


*Note5* I will send you a private email with your grades. Please
continue to engage in the weekly discussion. Don't forget to visit often
"The Canto Café" Open in new Window.!

Write On!
~ Catherine~
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Review of Calling Me  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: A reflective poem, a narrator wandering and wondering in a nice quiet moment.

What I liked best: The use of the name "Turnberry Street", I don't know if that really exists near you, but in this poem it adds 'reflection' of the narrator.

Theme/Title/Prompt: I lack the prompt to comment other than the title suits well.

Rhyme/Form/Flow: Perfect simple rhyme. Both the form and flow are maintained throughout.

Mood/Emotional Impact: It hints of some darkness, but I don't pick up on what is weighing on the narrator.

Imagery: The tactile imagery of breeze whips and pluck a rose is nice.

Spelling and Grammar: Perfect.

Suggestions: The length may have been dictated by the contest, but if you had an eye to revise this I'd suggest making this longer and exploring more for the reader what is behind these ruminations.

Good job. Write On and Keep painting pictures with words!

NOVAcatmando

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Review of LIGHT  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: A poem with good rhythm and a lighthearted tone.

What I liked best: your description says a poem of encouragement, and it certainly has that feel. I also like the alliteration found in searching, seeing, seeming. *Thumbsup*

Rhyme/Form/Flow: No rhyme. The flow is excellent, a very easy read.

Mood/Emotional Impact: Mood is light, I would have to say not a lot of emotional impact in this poem, but that may be the intent.*Smile*

Imagery: I did not see any imagery, i.e. "The use of vivid or figurative language to represent objects, actions, or ideas" But the sequence of colors had a nice ring to it especially when read a loud.

Spelling and Grammar: No mistakes, although some punctuation might help.

Suggestions: The use of gerunds in the first stanza is inconsistent, and then not repeated in the last stanza, which make the poem feel divided. I suggest you choose one way of dealing with verbs throughout.
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Review of Quit Your Whining  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit.

My impression:
A funny little tale, as told by an under-rated animal.

What I liked best: How you wove facts about giraffe's into the dialogue. Also the 'tail' bit.

Flow
The story moved forward at a good pace.

Spelling and Grammar
the apostrophy in front of Quit needs to be removed, or terminated.

Good job. And Write On!

NOVAcatmando

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Rising Stars Member-to-Member Review
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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing this for the “Weekender's Write On Challenge” contest.

The Ae Freislighe, Irish verse Form was followed correctly. The rhyme works well.

The topic is bittersweet, which is a very "Irishy" take on love. Dark yet lovely.

"Why our love is unstable?" is bit ackward, I'd suggest "Why is our love unstable?"
How did our love turn unstable?

Thank you for your participation and your entry.

Sláinte agus Síocháin,
Health and Peace,

NOVAcatmando


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Review of Don't wake me.  Open in new Window.
Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I rather like the simplicity of the poem. I get the scarcity of being in this moment of resignation - the narrator is fine with nothing happening. Your poem reflects that mood.

A typo:
familure
>> familiar

I suggest removing the comments at the beginning, it almost made me pass on the reading. Your poem will find its audience, or they it. People's comments in no way reflect the value of the writer, its just not every reader will connect with our words. We, as writers, have to develop thicker skins for those who do not like our work. Hard for me too...

Sláinte agus Síocháin,
Health and Peace,

NOVAcatmando


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25
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Review by NOVAcatmando Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

This is, as always, just my humble opinion please accept it in that spirit. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain.

My impression: quiet and reflective poem.

What I liked best: the opening sentence - wow!

Rhyme/Form/Flow - no rhyme, you did a nice job with flow since this unmetered verse.

Mood/Emotional Impact - you've captured that "smallness" that one feels standing at the seashore at night. I like the mood of the poem very much.

Imagery
The beginning of the poem is stronger in imagery. It is a fantastic opening and draws the reader quickly into the poem. It is one of the nicest bits of imagery I've read in a while.

Spelling and Grammar
No spelling errors. The sentence "Then whispers soft the gibbous moon" is lacking a subject. Grammatically speaking one would go back to last subject/noun which was "waves". If this was not your intent, the sentence should be adjusted.

Suggestions:
More imagery at the end which would suggest the questions in the narrators mind, instead of direct questions.

Very nice - keep painting pictures with words!

NOVAcatmando

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