It would be one wicked turn of fate if we fulfilled the bible's prophecy through our own pride by creating the anti-christ in a lab. Weird though huh lol
Beautiful and Tragic. This poem had a deep somber tone that tugged at the heart strings. I liked this. P.S. - Whenever you have the time you should check out my poem depression, its in the same tone. Id like to know what you think.
Although this is one of those stories that get constantly rehashed and reinvented, you pulled it off quite well. It kept me reading and flowed smoothly. Your descriptiveness of the situation was well done, and last paragraph and sentence were a superb way to end it. Good Job :)
I loved this poem. You have managed to acheive and manipulate an old romantic writing style very well. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. I plan on reading more of your stuff as time allows.
P.S. - I don't know why but the name Crusty Puffin had be laughing in tears, very creative.
Very vivid and well written poem. I enjoyed the back and forth emotional content. I enjoyed this piece. As a suggestion, one method i often use on endings is breaking apart the structure of the last lines to add tone and dramatic effect. It changes the delivery of the emotion. The last line can be broken into 3 without compromising the integrity of the poem.
For example:
"But you are the one, the first, who ever made me feel love in a new way"
Can also be written like
But you are the one,
The first,
Who ever made me feel love in a new way
And it ends it in a more somber thoughtful tone. Its only a suggestion for future reference if nothing more, because as it stands, it is a wonderful poem.
I enjoyed this piece, Keep up the good work.
The overall theme and content is beautiful, but this poems flow is slowed down by where the rhymes end. The syllable count is off. I got so caught up trying to find the flow that by the time I got to the end the power of the statement lost its effect. However you're not far at all from perfection, your rhymes are only off by a syllable or two. Keep Writing :)
First, I Love America. Second, anybody who really looks at it and thinks about it themselves will come to the same conclusion. The other side of the coin is an active and publicly traded public media who takes advantage of the chronic A.D.D. with 30 second commercials. A bubbling debt that barely exists and out-sourced labor leaving those at home jobless and desperate. Something will change soon, no tyranny can last forever. Stay angry
First and foremost, excellent poem. I saw that the first couple of lines had rhymes at the end, but no real rhythm. You rhymed it nicely at the end though, and wrapped it up well. Considering the content, a rhyming scheme might have made it seem cheesy and it may have lost some of its edge. //Plus sides// Very nice imagery and tone and deep ending message I liked it.
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