I'm new to this reviewing stuff, but I've read quite a few of this site's guides about reviewing and some other online sources. So I guess I'll give it a shot.
I don't really know what to look for grammatically or punctuation wise but I didn't notice anything major that distracted from the story if there was anything wrong in those areas.
I enjoyed this story so much because it made me feel multiple emotions from a short story. Compassion for Efren and Cornelia. Happiness from the comrodery of new friends. Slight pang of sadness because I've been in both of their shoes before and recall how it felt having to wok to help support family when I was 14 and missing out on education because of funds. But I also experienced great joy because I finally got to further my education when I didn't think possible and knowing that I have had people in my life that have been great friends even if just for a season that just made me happy and impacted me.
The plot kept me interested and the characters were believable and relatable. The dialogue seemed to flow quite well. One of my favorite parts was when the group of guys showed up randomly and said “Cornelia! Are you ready now? We are here to escort you making it certain that you are safe on your way to school.” I've had a few groups like that in my life and I pictured that scenario clearly in my head and even giggled a bit thinking bout it. It was great for the story, but the part I disliked most was when Cornelia found Efren out back sniffing the chemical because I've had dark times like that in my life and it hurt a bit seeing it happen to someone I related too. It was great development in story tho.
One of the things that stood out the most for me was when Cornelia bursted out something personal and did know why. There are certain times when somthing clicks between people but too often they don't even say what they feel instinctively and they miss a memorable friendship. I have recently started to try being more bold and act on my gut feelings and it's refreshing to see a character do that.
The story was great how you wrote it, but one of the questions that is recomended to ask myself is is there anything I would change? And as I said I loved it but I would of liked to see some closure. Like instead of it being the last time Cornelia saw Efren I would of put in a end where it was far ahead in time and Cornelia was attending college achieving the education she hoped for and she runs into him and it turned out that the him finding other work with higher earnings worked out for him and he now owns and runs the business he was working for and his family is safe and his father is locked up and receiving help. I know that probably sounds cliche but I'm kinda cheesy sometimes. Lol.
I guess in summary I'd have to say it was extremely memorable for me and if I hadn't already mentioned so many things I found memorable I would tell you why I felt that way about it. I'm hoping I can get some friends to join here and this will definitely be on my recomended reading list. I hope that I didn't overdue my review but if I did I'm sorry I'm learning still, so let me know if it's too much. You are my 1st official review but I loved the story so much I couldn't not try to give a review. Lol. Keep up the great work I look forward to reading more of your writings and hopefully once I get some on here you will be able to enjoy one of mine. Hope everything is going good for you in all you do.
I don't know a lot about poetry writing so I can't really give you a review on th way it was written. However I do know that I loved it! I enjoyed it so much my brain got mixed up and I started looking for the share button, because I know quite a few of my Facebook friends that would also truly enjoy it. Keep up the good work and continue to "Begin, rebuild, outlast, become".
Sincerely,
David
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