This poem is what I feel right this moment. Reading it I was overwhelmed by the emotion in this poem! It is very well written and I would love to read more from you! Write on!
Wow! That was an awesome poem! Especially for a newbie. I wanted to welcome you to Writing.com! I am outloudgirl and I would love it if you would rate and review some of my pieces. Rating and Reviewing really helps you on this website. Not just gain the authors confidence but it will help you gain great knowledge from their peices. This poem had no spelling or grammar problems and had a vibe to it. I enjoyed it and shall express my feelings towards it clearly.
Spelling/Grammar: No errors.
What I loved: The first and last verses picked up on the same subject.
What I didn't like: It was a little skippy but thats how newbies always start out. Great job overall, it came together in the end.
Rate:4.5
Overall: A wonderful peace.
Note from reviewer: Always keep writing. You will just get better.
There were very few errors, but overall this was a well thought out piece. I didn't quite understand the ending. Maybe you should add some more, so the reader will understand better. Please understand that these are just suggestions and you do not have to take them.
How magnificent this poem is. It expresses deep thoughts and shows great detail in a small portion. Very well executed. No spelling or grammar errors were found.
Didn't like: There wasn't a single part I didn't enjoy.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors.
Favorite Part: How you express that your mother has cancer without telling the reader directly.
Overall: You did excellent.
Something you could change: There is not too much you could change. I would suggest making it a little bit longer. If it were a little more lenghty you could express more of your life.
I love how you can freely express your thoughts on here, it's exactly how I feel. In school I hide my true self but on here I can show the world who and what I am made of.
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