I have to say, for your stated goal of creating a world, you've done it. Though with this short taste, there is a LOT for the reader to digest. The majesty of the gold-fleckd electricity rain alone is probably enough to go with. Kik still enjoys it, but for the rest of the community, the magic has become mundane. By adding the political bits, it veers back and forth pretty wildly in such a short span. Now, in a larger work, where maybe the political structure had been brought up beforehand and this wasn't the reader's first exposure, that would be fine, and focus would be back on that magnificent golden snow. I really like that, by the way. Excellent.
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