"The Answer" 
The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with the intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer.
Title and Author: The Answer by Sum1
In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
Your Words
My Impressions as I read
Editing Suggestions
Plot::
Sara calls the wrong number on the phone and starts traveling a new path in her life.
Opening Sentence and Paragraph:
The first sentence takes us to a time we all can relate to.
Characters Development:
I liked the character development. It started slow but built as it progressed.
Dialogue:
The dialogue helped to keep the story going. It all fit into the story.
Punctuation and Structure:
I have done a line by line review below.
Closing Statement
I liked this story. It was a slow build and the twist, in the end, was well done. You need to get a little better grip on punctuation and your division of scenes. Think of a scene as what you can see through a camera lens. You can see what is in front of you but not is what is happening over the hill, on the other end of the phone or behind you. You have more than one chapter in this short story.
Starling
<>=====<>=====<>
***“Rick, listen (comma) please. I don’t know if you remember me, but we met at lunch yesterday.
***Nick sighed softly, (no comma) but knew he would listen. It was one of his strong suits, just like his father, and brother. They were all good listeners, (no comma) and were often told things they didn’t need to know.
*** I’m a brunette with curly, shoulder length (hyphenated) hair. You commented on my blue eyes, and how captivating they are. Remember now?”
“No Rick, Susan introduced us, this is Sara. Sara McCluskey. I’m the brunette with curly, shoulder length (hyphenated) hair. You commented on my blue eyes, and how captivating they are. Remember now?”
As she spoke, Sara idly twirled her hair with her fingers, slowly pacing in circles around her room. (This is called head-hopping. Nick can not see her doing this so the reader should not know she is doing it. You need to add it somewhere else.)
***(New scene.This is called head-hopping. Nick can not see her doing this so the reader should not know she is doing it. You can make it a chapter break or just some sort of break such as a dashed line. eg. +++++ or <>=====<>)
***At the same time, he felt a connection with her, (no comma) and knew he’d listen whenever she called. “Yes of course. Call me when or if you need to. You have my number after all.”
***(This is the start of another scene from Sara’s point of view. It needs to be divided off, either by a chapter marker or maybe some other type of devider. Eg. ======= or <>=====<>====<> or something of your choice.)
Sara also fell asleep quickly. She had been so distraught over what happened the previous day, talking to Rick had really set her mind at peace. She was asleep in minutes, (no comma) and dreamed of a man who guided her decisions.
***The next morning Sara woke up late. She wasn’t hung over (one word) at all, (no comma) and felt refreshed, ready for a new day. A new world.
***She gasped as she looked at it, and realized she’d misdialed the number by one digit. Horrified, she knew she had to call this man again. Not only to apologize for calling so late, but for thinking (comma) he was Rick all that time.
***"Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I called you late last night, (no comma) and thought I was talking to Rick, a man I’d met the day before yesterday.
(New Scene, needs to be divided)
***Sara called as planned that night, she and Nick talked for three hours. Nick couldn’t believe how much she had to say, much of it stuff she just needed to get off her chest. Finally (comma) she said, “Rick, I’m at a crossroads (one word) in my life. I’m twenty seven, (hyphenated) single, eligible in every respect. But I haven’t found a man I click with (comma) in that special way. At the same time, I’ve finished my bachelor’s degree, and I’m ready to start a career. Any suggestions on what kind of career I should get in to (one word)?”
***“Have you thought about public speaking? This could get you in to (one word) a number of fields in business. A business leader has to be well spoken, (hyphenated) and able to speak in front of the public.”
***“Really? Look how you’ve opened up to me in less than twenty four (hyphenated)hours.”
***The next day he made it a point to look up Sara McCluskey at Columbia. He had fond memories of that school. (This statement is repeated in the next sentence.) It had been a while, but he had fond memories of Columbia University. Seeing her picture on the website, he was pleased to see she was a brunette with short curly hair.
***He made a couple of calls to friends about Sara. He wanted her guided properly, (no comma) and knew these men would help him. Over the next few weeks (comma) he monitored the Toastmasters website, (no comma) and was pleased to see she had joined it. Once in a while he would attend a session incognito and listen to Sara speak. She was always passionate about her topic, (no comma) and presented herself far better than she thought she could. She was a good looking (hyphenated) woman, (Period not a comma and caps on He) he noticed her hair was now cut in a different fashion. She had the look of an experienced businesswoman. She did not appear aggressive, just confident in herself. He found her very attractive, and fascinating.
***<>=====<>=====<> (give a chapter title or a partial break sign. You can center it but don’t have it go all the way across the page.)
***“Hello (comma) again Sara. How are you today?”
***Another lie. Nick didn’t mind crowds, never had. But he had taken to living alone on his estate, having his necessities either sent to him, (no comma) or sending someone to get what he needed.
(New scene, needs devision)
***Sara frowned, glad that Rick couldn’t see her face. She knew she was falling for this ‘invisible man’ (double apostrophe), and wanted to meet him.
***“Well, I know I’ve said it many times to you, but thank you (comma) Rick. Thank you for mentoring me, having faith in me, and guiding me. I don’t know where I’d be without your advice and friendship.”
***She didn’t know what to think of someone who wouldn’t go out anywhere, (no comma) and wondered once again about her true feelings for him.
***Nick pondered the call for a while. He had been waiting for Sara to ask to meet, (no comma) and knew they couldn’t. She had no idea what he looked like, his age, or anything.
(New chapter, remove the devision mark you have)
***They had been major contributors in designing the original I-Pod, and the follow on (hyphenated) I-devices. Now retired from that, he spent the majority of his time working on new ideas. He knew how the new I-Pad (no hyphen, lower case i and caps remain on P) tablets were being designed, (no comma) and decided he would build something similar, but very unique. He couldn’t do it at his estate, (Period not a comma and caps on It) it would have to be done in a factory. But since he was going to make just the one device, he knew he could call in a few favors and have it built without anyone snooping into his plans too much. It took a lot longer than he wanted, but in less than two years, he had a working prototype.
(New chapter or devision)
***It’s not time. But, if you’d like to meet, please come to 66 Brielle Avenue, Staten Island the day you receive this. Bring it with you, open it when directed (comma) please. Be here about 3pm. Tell the gatekeeper your name, and that you are here to meet me. He’ll get you to me. Rick.”
***She wanted to look her best for Rick, (no comma) but didn’t want to look too businesslike. She finally settled on a pair of blue Dockers slacks, a pale yellow top, and comfortable shoes.
***As the gate opened, Sara stepped through, (no comma) and sat in the seat as directed. Sam closed the gate with a button press, (no comma) and put the cart in gear. “Where are you taking me?” she asked.
***Sara still couldn’t understand what was going on, but did as requested. Once past the trees, she stopped, her mouth moving to say something, but no sound could escape. Finally (comma) she collapsed to her knees, sobs wracking her body. In front of her was a simple headstone.
Nick Griffiths
April 10, 1945 - May 5, 2015
He loved many things, even a woman he never met.
***Through her sobs (comma) Sara heard Nick’s voice as it tried to soothe her. “Sara, we couldn’t meet, much as you and I both wanted. I wasn’t healthy enough to get out. My body was frail, my mind was not.”
*** That's all you can do to this (me)(choose one of these words) , the rest is done by me while I'm connected to the Wi-Fi network and on the internet."
Rick Griffiths Jr.
August 12, 1960 – September 11, 2001
Beloved brother of Nick, the real genius behind their projects
Rick Griffiths Sr.
January 31, 1922 – September 11, 2001
The father, the patriarch, the one who made us possible.
***It was quite a while before Sara could calm down and stop sobbing. Her hair was a mess, makeup smeared, eyes red and swollen. Finally (comma) she could think again, and said, “What became your reason to keep on living?”
***Sara sobbed once again, (no comma) but quickly regained control. “I know what to call this gadget you’ve given me. But first, can it be duplicated? Can more be manufactured?”
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