I think your story needs a bit more. You have a vivid imagination and I like some of your descriptions but i can't help but feel something is missing. Computer geek/ weapon collector wakes up to a snowy day and finds Orcs taking over his city and he instantaneously becomes a character from Lord of the Rings. Isn't he afraid? Where do the Orcs come from? No explanation? It's a little bit like cheap action and I'm sure that's not what you're aiming at. I give you three stars for creativity.
-i think everywhere is one word
-i don' t think you have a single comma. I feel you shoud have one after "slamming"
Wind blew fiercely, slamming hard against loose
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/parrot
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:14pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
