Surprised me.......I started not to read it.......due to the time it was set.........for to me......most written in this manner is usually boring, even though I could tell it was well written.......but something told me to bear with it's introduction and as you can see I did. Good job!!!....I enjoyed it......plus it goes to show......at times....things are not as they first appear.....thank you.....it was delightful.
Although this is not a new subject.......I thought you wrote it well. I kept wanting to read to see what was going to happen.........that is the evidence of a good story teller.......they keep you interested........you created a scenario where anything could happen......as a writer......if one can come up with unexpected twists and turns and a surprise ending..........even if the subject is one that has been told about many times..........those are the one's that end up as best sellers..........and you knew how to keep the reader interested........good for you.......bravo......I will look forward to reading your next piece........This work was a pleasure to read......thank you!!
not too shabby......I liked your idea.......your wording leaves a little to be desired........in some cases too many words added to make a point. But overall......nice story......one of the things I noticed......you used the words .....most evilest and to me.....most evil would have been better. I know you never use most and est together. Such as......They are one of the most evil. That says it nicely........and makes a strong point about them. But please.....be sure to keep writing........for you have a story telling talent.
Hi.....I really like this......it is interesting.......and I am looking forward to where you are going to take it...........as I have told others I am not good at critiquing........but I know when I like something........so please........work hard......I can't wait.....!!!
I loved this.......loved the way you wrote it.......and knew exactly what the character was feeling........if I had any criticism at all.....it would be that it was too short.......I would have loved to read more of you........great job......
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