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125 Public Reviews Given
232 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Joy Author IconMail Icon

I am here on behalf of the Simply Positive review forum. Please remember that this review is only opinion, and should be used as such. *Smile*

This was a very informative write. You touched on basic information in each paragraph while tantalizing the reader to explore more in depth on their own.

The piece was well written and I found no errors. I think you did a great job of informing the reader of the history of Thanksgiving, and taught me a bit about the origins of the holiday.

I enjoyed the piece.

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

Hello Richard Luck Author IconMail Icon

I found this little gem, while random port surfing. I am glad I did. *Smile*

This was a very detailed write. The imagery was intense, but not gory. You held a very fine line in your descriptions.

The language usage was creative, and held my attention. The opening was strong - and you kept the body of the write intense right up to the ending.

You kept me from deciding on who I was rooting for -- the shrink, or the patient - until the plot twist made me decide between the lesser of two evils.

Very well done - I enjoyed the write!


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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Robin:TheRhymeMaven Author IconMail Icon
I am reviewing for the Simply Positive, Trick and Treat reviewing event.
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*


Excellent narrative poem.

I liked the tight stanzas and strong imagery. You did a great job of conveying emotion in the write.

A strong beginning - climatic build - and fitting ending.

Very well done!!
I enjoyed the write

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Review of Roses  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Hello sauldecosta
I am reviewing for the Simply Positive Halloween Trick and Treat event
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*

I did like this write.

I think you did a great job with the Halloween killer. I liked the idea of the rose scented introduction of the horror to come.

Very creative.

No suggestions for improvement.
Nice work!!

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello ShiShad Author IconMail Icon

I am reviewing for the Simply Positive, Trick and Treat event -
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*

I really like this. The narrative story in poetic form -

The only part that I had trouble with was the last line.
I couldn't see how this fit with the rest of the piece.

I enjoyed the rhyme, and the clever wording. Very nice write
Well done!!

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Review of Where Evil Dwells  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello SHERRI GIBSON Author IconMail Icon
I'm reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Trick and Treat *Smile*
Please remember all reviews are opinion.

I liked this. It was true to the title, and carried a dark tone to it.
The stanzas were strong and it had a good rhythm to it.

I especially liked the last two lines of the poem, it pulled the piece together.

Well done write!! Thanks for sharing *Smile*

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Review of Halloween  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hello tracey blanchard Author IconMail Icon
I am reviewing for the Simply Positive Trick and Treat Event
Please remember all reviews are opinion *Smile*

A very nice overview of Halloween tradition. There are many more, but you have touched on the most popular and how some have evolved to what we now expect to be customary for Oct. 31.

You had a good strong opening line, but I must admit I did expect a bit more of how Michael Myers and Nightmare on Elm Street fit into the Halloween tradition after reading it.

Obviously you did some research on the Halloween holiday and I enjoyed reading your write.

Overall nice work!

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author IconMail Icon I am here from the Simply Positive Trick and Treat
Please remember all reviews are opinion. *Smile*

A very cute, well written Sonnet. You created a lot of imagery in this piece. I could imagine you trying to sew on that tail, then remembering the costume chest. *Smile*

The only stanza I had a stumble with is the second. In the last line I kept switching "past forgotten to Forgotten past when I read it.

Other than that I really liked it
Very nice write

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Review of BEWITCHED  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Hello COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME Author IconMail Icon

I really liked this poem. The flow was great. You had a good build up to the conclusion.
Rhyme was creative and easily read. Stanzas flowed easily from one to the next.

Overall very nice work -- I enjoyed reading this -

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello Colin Back on the Ghost Roads Author IconMail Icon -
I reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Trick and Treat!!
Please remember all reviews are opinion so please take what you like and discard the rest!!

These are some great budget decorations you have come up with, I bet your classroom looks very festive for the Halloween event. *Smile*

By now I am sure you have been informed of the typo in the fourth paragraph (Now -- instead of No) -

Other than that I love the ideas you have suggested. Another way to temporarily keep those ghosties up is to use the static factor. Rubbing the plastic on the top of your head will build enough cling to keep them up to the ceiling for awhile *Smile*

Other than that I see no tech errors -
Very nice write and Thank you for sharing your ideas

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Review of A Journey To Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Good write!!

I enjoyed the piece, although I must admit I had to begin it twice to get how the first stanza fit in - Then it dawned on me - setting -

The poem was not only great introspection it was also very visual. I picked up the imagery along the way and it was a very pleasing piece.

You did a great job of keeping the flow of the couplets while carrying the stages of the poetic story.

I don't have any suggestion - In my opinion I think it stands well as is.

Very well written!!

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Review of The Big Race  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Cute funny story.

Your descriptions gave me a clear picture of the entrants and their speedy dash to the finish.

Although I couldn't figure out what they were betting -- by the description they were digging their antes out of their pockets. It seems the winning would have been crumb coated rather than sugar -- *Smile*

Good story and I enjoyed it -

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Review of Just Hold Me Now  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Love Poetry...
Not often my genre, but here goes -

I found the stanzas interesting, they flowed nicely together and told a very endearing tale.

If I understood the piece, it is about a rejection of love, then coming to terms as a relationship grew into more than you were expecting and finally accepting that you felt the same.

I hope I am close --*Smile*

I enjoyed the write...
Nice work

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very well written piece. You did nice job of creating visual imagery of how you felt when hearing that your crush returned your affection.

The descriptions of the blush of your face, and how you anticipated his call made the piece even more enjoyable.

From the ending paragraphs one can tell that the infatuation went on for sometime, but didn't say whether it continued to this day. This encounter obviously left an impression on the character. I hope everything worked out for the best for both of them.

Nice write!!

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I liked your point of view on this piece-- I have hosted several troubled teens through my parenting years. I have found that "troubled" is not always proper term for these individuals. Sometimes it is just that these teens need to know that they are wanted and loved. By allowing them to express themselves through creative outlets they have grown to be responsible and terrific adults.
Thanks for sharing your views on parenting.

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

Well written poem -

I liked the line by line comparative presented in each stanza. You did a good job of using strong imagery to get the point across.

I didn't see any particular form jump out at me, but the meaning was well represented.

Very nice work!!

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Review of A Parent's Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)


A well presented poem!

You have touched on an emotion not all have experienced. The neglect of a parent, although it may not have been intentional still an obvious affect on life.

In the piece your character overcomes this obstical and finds joy in life from the birth of a child. I hope the other subject finds his peace.

The stanza's were done well and the poem carries emotional merit.

Very nicely done!
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Review of Parasite  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

This is a very well conceived piece. I can relate with the characters, their emotions and feelings toward having a child when barely able to cope on their own.

Although I can say I was never inclined to cause harm to my children, I did have the occasional thought about their father *Laugh*

You outlined their situation extremely well, while in conversation with Kayla's military father.

Jayden character was shown to be responsible for his family, but found a loss of communication with his young wife. Another very well done aspect.

Depression rears it's head in many ways. This was a very strong write.

Very nice work!!

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

I did enjoy the piece. I thought it was a good rendition of your dream. You explained not only the dream, but gave some insight into the inside jokes -- the tissue, the clothing.

The only mix up I had was occasionally having to read a paragraph over again - You may want to italic or somehow set the dream from the narrative..

Overall - well written, and a very touching.

Very nicely done -

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Review of My Plea  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


I can identify with parts of this, and enjoyed the emotional stanza's.
The rhyme scheme was followed and well done. Wording is effective, and the stanza's fit well together.

I think you did a great job in this plea to an alcoholic to leave the bottle and find solace within family.

Well done!!

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)


This is a very inspirational piece on what a flag could / should stand for.
The flow of stanzas are well done and each blends nicely with the next.
I enjoyed the write -

Nice work -

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

I really enjoyed the family legend. It gave a great sense of togetherness. You detailed the surroundings and the events well and it was easy to imagine the surroundings.

And the pumpkin bread sounds pretty good.
Thank you for sharing a family recipe.

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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)


The realization of age - isn't it grand.
I liked this, it was humorous, but a reminder that time waits for no-one and to take advantage of the time you have left.

The rhyme was pleasant and you told a memorable story in the poem.
I enjoyed the write -

Very nice work
Write On


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Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)


I really liked this. It was such a peaceful poem. The stanza's are set and I liked the flow. It read very easy and carried an inspirational tone.

*Star*Favorite stanza:*Star*

put there by nature itself. I let my mind go
free and blocked all that might hinder my earnest search
for the serenity necessary to calm

Very nicely done -
Write on!

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Review of The Guilty Secret  Open in new Window.
Review by Origami - Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Nice work.

The story of a cover-up and the victims retribution.

You did a good job detailing this story, I could get a good image of the characters and their mannerism by the descriptions and conversation.

The plot was well executed. You gave me a beginning - midrise- and ending and were able to keep the some of the suspense.

You gave me empathy for the victim by detailing his history and circumstances surrounding his untimely death.

** Suggestions
as always this is just opinion and only that of one person

In the first paragraph, I suggest you switch the first two lines and begin with the conversation line. It may be a stronger line to draw the reader into the story.

Her hands began to shake as a stark realization came over her, end sentence and the alarm clock fell to the floor with a thud. 2:58 A.M. -- that was the exact time of the accident!

There may be a couple more small errors, but nothing a re-write won't fix.

Good story.
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