First of I shall say that this was a very lovely story. Very original and interesting. I fell in love with your character, "Old One Ear". Tis very well written. The only bit of criticism I have is that..at the beginning I thought the narrator was a human being and I was confused until the second paragraph. Perhaps you should better introduce the narrator. Other than that, this is one of the best short stories I have read, ever. I think you should publish it!
To all readers out there--- Check out "Old One Ear"
I'd like to say that your poem makes me wish it was mine! Wonderfully written and a great subject at that!
You earned a 5.0 because rating it any lower is just plain wrong.
Sincerly,
Change: Amazing, he thought, after all this time her eyes still shine. He looked away but a single moment to nod at the doctor.
to: "Amazing," he thought," after all this time her eyes still shine." He looked away except for a single moment to nod at the doctor.
Thoughts are quoted just like conversation. Change but a to except for(it sounds better).
Overall a very nice paragraph. Very sentimental.
Thanks for the great read and God bless,
-PixyStix
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