First of I shall say that this was a very lovely story. Very original and interesting. I fell in love with your character, "Old One Ear". Tis very well written. The only bit of criticism I have is that..at the beginning I thought the narrator was a human being and I was confused until the second paragraph. Perhaps you should better introduce the narrator. Other than that, this is one of the best short stories I have read, ever. I think you should publish it!
To all readers out there--- Check out "Old One Ear"
I'd like to say that your poem makes me wish it was mine! Wonderfully written and a great subject at that!
You earned a 5.0 because rating it any lower is just plain wrong.
Sincerly,
Change: Amazing, he thought, after all this time her eyes still shine. He looked away but a single moment to nod at the doctor.
to: "Amazing," he thought," after all this time her eyes still shine." He looked away except for a single moment to nod at the doctor.
Thoughts are quoted just like conversation. Change but a to except for(it sounds better).
Overall a very nice paragraph. Very sentimental.
Thanks for the great read and God bless,
-PixyStix
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 7:45am on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
