nothing important, but I think never mind is two words
Flow :
I love the way you move from Paris to Martha.
Additional Comments :
You either are very funny or Paris needs to be very careful!
I have a game I play with some friends called "Brushes with the Rich and Famous". The more removed the brushes are, the better they are. For instance, if your cousin Bill has a neighbor that once sat on a plane on which Dustin Hoffman also flew, you'd get big points. Some day I'm gonna write about it. It would make a good blog!
I liked the modern setting for an ancient mythical creature. It seems an allegory for mindless slaughter of nature. I grew up in a hunting family so have no objections to thoughtful use of animals. So much of what we are doing to nature, though, is like Sam. I felt the sorrow of Bentl and sorrow for the rest of us. Nice going. Peanuts
Hi Tiger Lilly. You've tackled an important topic. I feel drawn in by your poem. It is a topic close to my heart. I find myself wishing chapter two found her beating the odds and getting out. People don't understand how hard that is. The image of the touch of the lips is powerful. There were maybe a couple of images that seemed not quite so fresh to me, that of cold steel and the chained wrists. I am kind of obsessive about spelling and grammar, and you might want to check it over for those kinds of things. I'd be glad to revisit it, if you like, after editing. I also would love feedback for my work, too! Keep up the good work. Peanuts
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