OK !! I'm sorry but what's up with that colour!!?? my eyes hurt!! but I still want to read it so... I will ....
I really couldn't read it , I got a head-ache. I have to copy-past it , so I could read it!!!
Ok!! here we go... I really really liked this poem!!!
the flow of the poem is just great, I didn't have any problem with it!!
the words are simple and nicely chosen.
there was no rhyming in the poem , but still it's a very good poem!!
that was a really good part:
"I loved you .
Still do and always will .
You made mistakes .
And because of your choices you will have to live with the feeling of loosing me ."
ABout the colour thing , I really don't mean being rude or something!!
That is a really good poem!! I really really liked it!!
the flow: the flow of the poem is just smooth and nice!! the rhymings and words: Great choice of words . the rhymings are just simple , and meaningful!!
My favorite part:
"You used to be the heaven in my chest,
Still, you are my hell."
that is a really good poem!!! but nothing is perfect , so... here I go....
First: I really didn't like the colour at all!!! I really wasn't going to read it , but the brief description was intresting.
If you don't want to change the colour at least make it in a bigger font.
Second: there are some mistakes :
1) LINE 6 : would'nt.......should be.......wouldn't.
2)LINE 10 from below: I really didn't understand it , do you mean "cheat ON you"??
3) LINE 9 from below: flt.....should be....felt.
4)LINE6 from below: "Feeling is impossible"...... shouldn't it be "Feelings that are impossible"??
Third:the flow:
the flow of the poem is really good but there's only one thing:
LINE 11: content.......I really didn't feel it , it took me out of the rhythm!!
what I really liked is this:
"We may not know everything about each other.
For a stranger- your close to me"
Over-all opion: A real amazing poem, it just need some work , and it will be awsome!!! I realy loved it , aside from my review!!! :)
remember that's just my opinion you may agree or disagree......
Great job!! and Write on!!!!! :)
O.M.G, I really liked this one!!
Although it's a little short , but I understood and felt everything you are trying to reveal!!
This is the best part (in my opinion):
"I mourne
As you proceed
To douse me in disregard"
that was really good!!
Great job!! and Write on!! :)
Hey , I just wanted to tell you that the NAME & THE BRIEF DESCRIPTION , are really nice and catchy . I was so curious to read what's inside , but then I didn't understand anything....... :( ... I was wondering if u can translate it & sent it back to me , so that I would review it and rate it right!! Thankz anyway!!
I loved what Dragon said!!!
"Also never insult me again or i will rip your eye's out shove them down your throat so you can watch me rip your throat to pieces and slice your stomache open"
Emily got it right!!!
check it again because there are some mistakes!! small mistakes!!!
I'm waiting to read it when you finish it!!
Please let me know !! I'll be waiting!! :)
I liked that!!! I simply felt everything you are going through right now!! can I just say " Boys break hearts , but they make us better poets"
APPLAUSE , I REALLY LIKED THIS:
"confused and in denial, barely able to maintain a thought,
without seeing his face, and desperately wanting to be back in that spot."
but what I loved the most was :
"my voice has become weak,I am unable to speak,
emotions flooding and now drowning my soul,"
Great job!! cant wait to read more of your work!!
Write On! :)
Oh my God!! That really made me laugh!! :) I like it alot....
I'm so sorry that happened to you!! but I'm glad you went through it and had a great story out of it!! :D
It's my first short story review , so I'm not so good about it!!
A squirrel worth 3000 dollars , that something I never heard about!! and stilll the meal needed some salt!! That was a great ending for a great story!!
I just have one problem, all the story is in small letters. why don't you write the first letter of the names in capital letters??
and you wrote " i " try to change it into " I "!! & you had a little mistakes!!
Other then that, Great job!! & really hope I could read more of your stuff!!!
One of the most amazing poems. I liked it so much!! I love the message that you send , and what makes it better is putting the message you want to send in this form....
I really liked this part, it was my favorite :
"But everyday,
Our lives are one less day
And everyday
We are closer to above."
I can't wait to read your work!! Great job!! & Write On!! :D
I really love this poem!! I loved the idea!! everything about it is just great!!
I couldn't find anything that I didn't like!!
I really loved this part:
"I want the wind to whisper the truth you need to hear
I want you to listen to me because it’s time to try something new."
I would say the whole stanza ,but I loved this part the most!!
I loved this!!!! I love the emotions in the poem!! I read it more than once!! :D
I really liked this :
"IF I SHOULD SMILE,
YET YOU KNOW THE DEPTH OF MY PAIN,
IF I SHOULD LOSE IT ALL,
AND IN THE END ITS MISERY I GAIN."
I just have one thing.. why don't you write in small letters? It will be better & maybe right some important parts in capital letters!!
that's just what I think!!!
Good luck!! & Write On!! :)
hey , I like you poem so much... somehow I felt all the pain you are going through!!
I like the way you show your feelings.. such a nice , smooth way!
I really like this part :
"I’m so angry, how could I let this happen?
Don’t I deserve all your love and devotion?"
Great job & can't wait to read more of your work!! :D
I loved everything about it.. I just want to say that I'm so sorry for your lose!
The smooth way on how you displayed the words is amazing and meaningful!!
I like the way you described your feelings and using some great words like :
Agony , Harsh , Thunder , Angel...etc
APPLAUSE:
"The harsh words came like thunder in the night all most like a dream
I cried out this can't be happening to me someone please wake me"
Great job & Write on... & can't read to read more of your work!!
I read it more than once & every time I get goosebumps... Maybe because it's so personal...
You know I'm a Rhyming Freak , and the rhymings here are amazing.
APPLAUSE:
"He was born too soon, she was born to late.
They were drawn together somehow by fate."
I do hope that this weird story doesn't end sadly, I do hope they could be friends , if possible..... and still share what was once great!! :D
Great Job!! & still waiting to read the short story!! :P :D
I like this so much.... although I'm A RHYMING FREAK !!! but love it!!!
don't we all want to go back in time!!! but only few can put it this way!!!!
great job!! Write On!
I loved this.. It's great.. love the idea.. or is it real?!!?
I loved the sense of humor!!.. I have to say , it did made me laugh!!
APPLAUSE:
*Though she loved him, there was much to adore,
I liked it so much.. the feelings are pure & jenuine ...
I really like the way you viewed the poem.
the rhymings are great ... choose ome amazing words...
APPLAUSE:
"With this one message I leave you now,
Heart and Soul bound to no vow,"
O.M.G .... I can't believe you really wrote that!! that was amazingly beautiful..just beautiful... I swear to God , the best 2 poems that I've read in my life were the 2 poems in ur portfolio!! I'm not just saying that because we are friends , I do really mean it!! U SHOULD GIVE YOURSELF MUCH MORE CREDIT!! :D .... write more !!!..... I was trying to find my favorite part of the song , but I just couldn't .. It was amazing!! read it to ur lil girl she'll love it!!:D
OMG !! I swear that was te best poem I read here ... I have the same problem , so I connected with the poem!! :)
APPLAUSE:
The love we used to have,
We can never regain,
Each time you say "I Love You",
All I feel is pain.
Pain because I loved you,
I feel like I could die,
'Cos everything you ever said to me,
Was nothing but a big lie.
I'm really looking forward to reading more of your work!!
I love this poem ! it's short but its meaninful.
I like how you made a comparison between letting her slip through your fingures as streams of sand :
" I let you slip through my fingers
like streams of sand."
APPLAUSE:
"That moments gone.
That moments through.
When I had the chance to be next to you"
To some it up a great poem !! keep it up!! :D
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