Very beautiful. I love the contrast and relation of the reflection to nature. The only thing that I did not like so much is line 22. I had a Creative Writing that said to "avoid alliteration always". I don't think she really meant ALWAYS because it would work for this poem if you maybe started each stanza with a line of alliteration. I just really think that the line sounds a bit amateur in a way. That is just my opinion, though!
This could be the start of something amazing. I think the piece could be composed by exploring the depth of the relationship and how it may have come to an end. You could do one side as one of the people and another from the other point of view. Wow that's a pretty good idea that I might end up using myself. Its always good to stat somewhere and this few lines looks like it will become masterpiece!
This piece seems well written. The only thing that I was wondering about was the rhyme scheme (if there is supposed to be one). There were quite a few lines that rhymed, but then there is a random line thrown in that messed up the flow for me. It might just be me missing something (after all, I haven't slept in a few days. Otherwise I think that this work is very good. If anything, I think you could make it longer and take the reader on a rollercoaster of emotion!
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