The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: Smooth and easy to understand
The plot: This is concise and incisive essay on how people receive and act on advice which they themselves solicited and received.
What I liked: Your thinking closely reflects my own. I have also had several instances where people have asked for my advice, ignored it, suffered and then again came back to me for. The only place where I disagree is that I would still try to help these guys if I could.
Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your story:-
Language: Easy to understand.
The plot: A letter written to oneself for setting the goals for the new year.
What I liked: I liked that you have chosen writing as one of your main goals. It is remarkable that you have survived against such heavy odds. Kudos to you.
Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I read so as to not diminish the appeal of your work in anyway. My actual rating is a 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The language: Mostly smooth but some of the sentences could be shortened. I am quoting some examples below
You write Sarah felt her eyes fill up as the sob came from deep inside her emerging from her mouth as a barely discernible sound against the background of the wind.
Suggestion: Sarah felt her eyes fill up. The sob from deep inside her emerged as a barely discernible sound against the background of the wind.
You write: Sarah was still hungry with passion but he drew off her now quickly, his own passion quickly receding, the fallen item in his hand.
Suggestion: Sarah was still hungry with passion but his had receded. He watched the item in his hand with horror.
The plot: Sarah, a recent widow, and her friend, Jack, go for a walk to see a scarecrow whose location intrigued both of them.
What I loved: The hint of mystery at the end.
Suggestions: None
I rate all stories I read as a 5 to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The language: This is a bit patchy and could do with some editing.
Consider this:
You write Meeting Gerald was not even in her plan at the time, just food and drinks, a good time.
Suggestion Meeting Gerald was not even in her plan at the time. She only wanted to have a good time, the food and drinks being the bonus.
The plot: A date at a masquerade has a surprising and unexpected outcome.
What I loved: The hints of a night of passion and the ending which took me by surprise.
Suggestions: None except the edits.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: This is a bit patchy. A thorough edit would completely transform this work. Consider some examples below:
You write he used to see his husband and wife everyday
Suggestion he used to see this husband and wife everyday
You write One day when husband and wife didn't come on the train, the young man was a bit stubborn
Suggestion: One day when husband and wife didn't come on the train, the young man was concerned
The plot: A touching story of a couple who love each other.
What I loved: I admire such couples who love and respect and are dedicated to each other.
Suggestions: None except editing for the grammatical errors.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
Language: Smooth and easy to understand. Just like all your other stories. They are all such nice pleasurable reads.
Plot: Two arch rivals from Wharton slug it out in the corporate world in continuation of their competition from the college days. The denoument is ironical and humorous.
What I loved: The end was simply adorable.
Suggestions: None
I rate all stories I read as 5 so as to not diminish the appeal of your work for other readers. But, in this case, the 5 is richly deserved.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The plot: A detective gets suspicious about his 'missing' sister and manages to inspect her house along with his partner. Both, brother and sister are eccentric but likable characters because they mean no harm.
What I liked: I liked the description of Aurora's house which looks like scene from a sci-fi movie. You also portray the quirks of Brent and Aurora well. The matchbox habit was imaginative. The ending brought a smile to my lips.
Suggestions: None
I rate al stories I read as a 5 so as to not diminish the appeal of your work for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.5.
The plot: A survivor of a mapping crew in the Arctic finds two friendly souls against all odds. They give him shelter and revive him.
What I liked: I really enjoyed this short story because you give a lot of drama within such few words. Bill's rescue came across as a big relief. The end is humorous.
Suggestions: None. You can't do much more in such few words.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I publicly review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story in anyway. My actual rating would be 4.5.
The plot: A traveler lost in the woods comes across a huge mushroom and a smoking caterpillar!
What I loved: I think this story was amazingly well written. You displayed an extremely fertile imagination and had me spellbound right till the end. I had no clue that nonsense was a genre available but this was as good as it can get. Your sorry was rich in creativity, full of humor and interesting. You have managed to achieve an enormous amount in only a few words.
Suggestions: None
I rate all stories I read as 5 so as to not diminish its appeal for other readers. However, the 5 rating in this case is well-deserved.
The language: It would help if you edit it a couple of times. I spotted a couple of errors. For example, you write and In the summer. It should be in. Another example, moon lite up the entire forest. It should be moon lit up the entire forest. Also, you need to cut the number of times you use "was."
The plot: A sweet story of a miracle where an angle saves a young boy.
What I like: I love these miracle stories involving fairies and angels. This one sure worked for me.
Suggestions: Only an edit of the story is what I would suggest to correct the grammatical errors.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: It was mostly smooth but I had to refer a dictionary to comprehend the meanings of some of the words. Eg doolaly, trollops etc.
The plot: Two young girls from wealthy families have enrolled into a grooming school for ladies. They struggle with their classes. The teacher attributes their poor performance to the fact that their nouveau riche families do not have a tradition of wealth.
What I liked: I found the storyline to be innovative. You portrayed a vivid description of the happenings in the class. The interaction in Miss Norton's room was enjoyable though I felt a bit cruel. And I love to hate Miss Norton. . She comes across as a characterization of evil.
Suggestions: None
I give a rating of 5 to all stories I publicly review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other writers. But, in this case, I think your story is completely deserving of the 5 rating.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The plot: A ladybug saves a dragonfly’s life twice, and the two become good friends and promise to take care of each other.
What I liked: First, I thought that the story was really nice and cute. Second, I liked the way you described the danger posed by the frog. You write about his bad breath and blowing like the wind. Excellent work there. Finally, the way they become friends in the end was really adorable.
Suggestions: None
I give a rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your work for other readers. But, in this case, I genuinely rate your work as 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The plot: A man hides inside a coffin with the intention of recreating a haunted house. The aim is to shock and scare visitors.
What I loved: I loved the wicked trick that Marlene played and how she persuaded Chet to lie inside the coffin.
Suggestions: The climax scene where Chet scrambles out of the coffin could be made more dramatic.
I give a rating of 5 to all stories that I publicly review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The plot: An apprehensive wife discovers that her suspicions about her husband are actually true. She plans to eliminate him and his lover.
What I loved: Well, it’s just the wicked me speaking. I ended up rooting for Andrea.
Suggestions: The plot to kill is not clear. How does she plan to do it?
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories that I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
Language - Without meaning to offend you, I found it a bit patchy. There are some grammatical errors which you might want to rectify. Some examples - should be replenished and not replinished. Should be SINCERELY and not SINCERE LY.
The plot - An essay on friendship.
What I loved - The part where you say that one has to respect and love oneself first before being expected to be loved and respected.
Suggestions - Many of the phrases sounded repetitive. This could be a much shorter yet a more powerful piece.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review as I do not wish to diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be 3.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: Smooth and easy to understand
The plot: A man accosts a thief trying to steal a lady's bag.
What I loved: This was such a humorous story in such less words. The part where the man declares his satisfaction that his aunt had chosen such a safe park brought a smile to my lips.
Suggestions: A lady's handbag would be a big giveaway, no? Can a man really run away with an item so feminine.
I rate all stories I read as 5 so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
The plot: Description of a scene of domestic bliss between two girlfriends.
What I liked: I enjoyed the tenderness of the relationship. Jackie seems to be the elderly partner who adores and loves her girlfriend. Penelope derives a lot of comfort from Jackie's closeness.
Suggestions: One issue remains unexplained. I did not get the significance of the victim wearing a red lingerie. How is it personal? Earlier, Jackie gifts Penny a pink lingerie. Are the two connected. Or should both be pink or should both be red.
I rate all stories I review as 5 so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
Language: Mostly smooth. The second sentence of the first para would read better if split into two. You may consider this friendly suggestion: He was separated due to his and his wife’s jobs. She was in DC and then in Korea, while he had a three-year assignment in Mumbai.
The plot: The main character meets a paranormal dog on a beach in Goa who teaches him some important lessons.
What I loved: I enjoyed the overall premise of the story where a fantasy character helps make your life better.
Suggestions: It would help to get an insight into some of the lessons that the cosmic dog gave Sam.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your work for other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.
Language - Smooth, easy to read and understand.I spotted only one error. In the second para, where Rose meets the fairy, you mention the name as Daily. It should be Daisy.
The plot - A child born to cruel parents is abandoned in the forest by them where she makes kind friends.
What I loved - The entire story was sweet. I loved the fairies and the unicorns and the dream ending. The entire theme was full of innocence.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I publicly review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating would be 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: Smooth and easy to read and understand.
The plot: An interaction between two fantasy characters
What I loved: I found the idea innovative and appealing. The descriptions were vivid. The conversation was interesting. The end was unexpected though I thought cruel
Suggestions: None.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your work to other readers. My actual rating would be a 4.5.
Language: Patchy in parts. Might need to be edited for grammatical and punctuation errors. For example, consider this sentence of your story - I stormed out of the house to the nearby shop,it was closed unlikeother days. Maybe, the comma should be replaced by a full stop. Another example is this - She was lying in sofa writhing in pain. She seemed to be in deep agony. This one is technically fine but two consecutive sentences starting with the same pronoun doesn't read nice.
Plot: A man admires from distance a woman in a wheel chair. He tries to get close with unintended consequences.
What I loved: The description of the lady's daily travails. I liked the part where you say that she wore dark colored suits. Struck some old memories.
Suggestions: It would help to know what was it the medical condition that caused so much of angst.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your work to other readers. My actual rating would be a 3.5.
You have just opened your account. Extending you a warm welcome to the community. Have a great time. And always keep writing.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
Language: Dark and grisly and conforming exactly to the theme and genre of the story.
Plot: A slaughterhouse worker begins to lose his sanity
What I loved: It should rather be what I hated, and I mean that as a compliment. Your graphic descriptions held me spellbound. This is one of the most macabre pieces that I have read over here, and I read with bated breath right till the end.
Suggestions: I wish the end was not so deadly. Maybe, Harvey's landing up in an asylum would have been better for our collective conscience.
I give a public rating of 5 to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your work to other readers. However, I genuinely rate your story a 5.
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