The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot:Two kid boys who are steadfast friends have a fallout but reconcile again.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the simplicity of the tale. Usually, I read stories about adults. These are complex reads because mature minds are colored by experiences and harshness of real life. Kids are innocent and naive which is why stories about them tend to be refreshing and sweet. Your character Kiev certainly is a freakish character prone to accidents which makes him quite remarkable. Martin seems to be wiser beyond his years. Both are adorable characters.
Friendly Suggestions: The place where Martin ends up pushing Kiev has to be explained a bit more. You need to bring out what happened and that it was unintentional.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Smooth and lucid.
The Plot: An old spinster who has inherited a business that involves honey and bees. She has lost her sisters to accidents involving bees and worries that the same fate will befall her.
What I enjoyed? The story is a unique theme. You have a thrilling style. You manage to hook the reader right at the beginning. I read the entire tale with bated breath anxious to reach the end. Good work there.
Friendly Suggestions: It would help to clear up the mystery of the deaths of the two sisters and what actually happened to Pudi. Is she schizophrenic?
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A young girl is being pursued by an unknown adversary who always seems to be one step ahead of her.
What I enjoyed? You manage to hook the reader from the first para itself. You create excitement and suspense. You have created an interesting and thrilling storyline. You bring out well the anxiety and apprehension of the chief protagonist.
Friendly Suggestions: The ending did not work for me. It did not flow logically. Why was the predator lurking after his prey? How does he have all her intimate details? I did not find an answer within your story.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 3.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot: A choir member wins the hearts of two deserving women - one is an altar server and the other one is a recluse who lives in the upstairs of the cathedral.
What I enjoyed? Your story had a hook with me wanting to know more about the recluse. She was the highlight of the story. My heart bled for her fate. You have weaved together a memorable love triangle and one cannot help but feel sorry for both the ladies at the end. Nathaniel's identity took me by surprise.
Friendly Suggestions:I did feel puzzled about the ages of your characters. You say that Greta had served for sixteen years ever since she was a teenager. That would put her at at least 39 years. However, I got a feeling of tender teenage love between Nathaniel and her. And if Greta is 39, how old is Nathaniel. If Nathaniel is an angel, isn't he supposed to know the truth about the Apparition. I also had a feeling that Greta was the girl who had thrown acid on the Apparition's face. But that is not what it turned out to be. Maybe, you could consider that and make Nathaniel get a reconciliation between the two ladies. As a form of her self-chastisement, Greta decides to give up all worldly pleasures. She moves into to the cathedral with Greta and the two stay devoted to each other for the rest of their lives.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot:An authoress gets involved with a handsome man at a remote beach. She is heartbroken when she discovers that he has been cheating on her.
What I enjoyed?I liked the premise of your story. A successful author secluded in a remote location where you do nothing but write. Mara is human after all but given her age, status and experience, her gullibility surprised me. She turned out to be an easy prey for Kyle.
Friendly Suggestions: The end about the potion and the destruction of Kyle do not come across as logical. Even though you have mentioned supernatural as one of the genres, you might want to keep the end simple and logical. For example, Mara feeds her a potion which renders Kyle effeminate and impotent for life. But that is just my suggestion. I mean no offence.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand. The conversation between Lawford and the art dealer was highly entertaining.
The Plot: A man discovers an old painting in his house. He suspects that it is an original Van Gogh.
What I enjoyed? This was a well-written story. The chain of thoughts that are triggered in Lawford's mind when he sees the painting are beautifully described. You manage to create suspense and are able to hook the reader. The end is hilarious.
Friendly Suggestions:
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Simple and lucid.
The Plot: A brief essay on the institution of marriage with a humorous bent at the end using some hilarious videos.
What I enjoyed? I liked the fact that your essay did provoke me to think deep about the institution of marriage. I come from a culture where divorces aren't so common but unfortunately things are drifting that way. While I agree that marrying for love and companionship are important, it is important to recognize that marriage is a partnership. If one of the partners gains financial security, the other one must be gaining some sort of comfort and friendship. Actually, it is important that each partner recognizes the strengths and weaknesses of the other and takes on the role that he/she is best suited for.
Friendly Suggestions:None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Smooth and easy to understand.
The Plot:A tribute to a diligent doctor who tales immense care of all her patients in spite of the fact that she herself is also seriously ill.
What I enjoyed? I was so fortunate to stumble upon this gem of a work. It is rare to find a caregiver like Amber these days which makes her passing away such an irreplaceable loss for society. Of course, her own family would be the one that would suffer the most but since all her patients were like family to her, her passing away would cause immense grief to all. What was great about Amber was that she never gave up on you. She always provided you with hope and succor.
I am also sorry to know about your auto-immune condition. Hoping and praying that you are doing well.
Friendly Suggestions: Breast cancer is curable if detected in time. You could use your story to send across a message to all your readers that all the women in the family need to periodically undergo the tests for breast cancer.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot: The story of a young scholar who embarks on an arduous and dangerous search to search for an unlikely treasure: books and knowledge.
What I enjoyed?I marveled at Gerhard's resoluteness and determination to undertake a perilous journey in the search of knowledge. The disparaging remarks of the citizens when Gerhard begins his voyage made has metaphorical connotations. The world is not kind to innovation. You have to be a braveheart to do accomplish anything novel. Gerhard seems to be endowed with the right frame of mind to qualify as one. The vines guarding the books was an unique idea.
Friendly Suggestions: Certain things remain unclear to me. Why does Gerhard turn away when the fig falls from his hand? Does he study the books in the library or not? What special knowledge does he gain from his quest?
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Colorful and a pleasure to read.
The Plot: A royal maiden visits a Prince's ball. She has feelings for the Prince but her hopes are crushed.
What I enjoyed? As I have written at the beginning, I found your choice of words to be vibrant and cheerful. Your talk about flowers and spices transported me to a different world, a heavenly and beautiful one. I marveled at the Prince's chivalry for treating every maiden with utmost respect. In the end, I couldn't help but feel sad for Tansy.
Friendly Suggestions: I found the description between Andrew and Antony a bit irrelevant. But, that's me.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot:A young boy ventures inside a haunted house on Halloween of all days!
What I enjoyed? I liked the courage of the boy who is the protagonist of this story. Having a conversation with a spirt and then venturing upstairs a house that is spooky does take some guts! Your descriptions of the house are powerful and vivid. I found it interesting the way you described the presence of the Spirit - the part where the seat pressed down as if somebody was seated on it.
Friendly Suggestions: You write Holloween.
You write One step at a time I cross the street under the broken street lamp up to the raw iron fence and the gate frozen shut all these years. It should be I crossed the street.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and lucid. A pleasurable read.
The Plot: A story of two lovers who resolve to encounter their destiny together. That one of them is cursed does not deter them from the path of love.
What I enjoyed? I liked the smooth flow of your words. Some examples:
i. with the steadying beam of the lighthouse, love could steer them through the most tempestuous of seas.
ii. Ancient symbols erupted in ghostly inscriptions; the hushed silence of whispered forests whispered across her thoughts; and behind it all, a hidden waterfall shimmered under the moon.
The love between Yvonne and Dylan touched me with its sincerity and steadfastness. You describe the chemistry between them well. The part where Yvonne declares her commitment to a a lifelong bond knowing the pitfalls of the relationship moved me because the relationship is not based one mere passion but love and sincerity.
Friendly Suggestions: I would have liked the story to reveal a bit more of the curse. Without it, it feels incomplete. I was half expecting Dylan to be a vampire or some spirit.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A lady ventures inside a strange building and faces disastrous consequences.
What I enjoyed? There are several things I enjoyed. You have a nice style of writing. Right at the beginning, you managed to hook me. There was no way I would have left this story halfway. The feelings of despair and horror are vividly described.
Friendly Suggestions:The horror genre does allow the writer a fair deal of creative license. But if the author manages to weave in a logical plot, it would make for a great story. I found this missing in your tale. At the end, the mystery of what was it that lurked inside the building remains unclear. We know that it is sinister and baleful. But what exactly is it?
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Smooth and a pleasure to read.
The Plot:A beautiful description of a woman's struggle to reconcile with her huge personal loss.
What I enjoyed? I loved your language. I liked the way you take us through a journey of all past memories and experiences. I liked your attitude and the manner in which you decide to pick up the threads of your life.
Friendly Suggestions:If you have unplugged your phone, how would you be able to take a call from the insurance guys? Just a thought.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot:An interesting depiction of a dental procedure.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the smooth flow of your passage. You used perfect words to create a powerful impact. Examples are: sensory anticipation, overpowering numbness etc
Friendly Suggestions: This story has been highly rated by the WDC community and hence I make this suggestion with some hesitation. Right from the beginning, I understood that this is about a medical procedure. This is because of one of the genres mentioned by you is comedy. Maybe you could remove comedy from the genre. And in the item description you mention something like "A woman trembles as she prepares for a forced violation of her body." Just a thought.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: Two little girls meet the owner of a monstrous house. Her identity turns out to be a real surprise.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the way you built up the suspense
Friendly Suggestions: The way you create the characters of your story, I thought the roles should be reversed. In the story, Miranda appears to be the bold one who wants to accost the old lady. But it would make mores sense if Maisy would be curious and bold to discover the identity of the lady. Miranda anyway knows her, right? And because Miranda knows her, she (Miranda) would not be keen to strike up a conversation with her.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and lucid.
The Plot: A birthday treat ends in disaster.
What I enjoyed? I liked the twist that comes at the end when you reveal Roger's true identity. You also were able to disguise well his true antecedents till the end. To be honest, I also did end up laughing at the absurdity of it all. However, your story once again proves that if anything is too good to be true, it usually is. You should be wary of any friend in an unknown city who wants to lavish you with so much affection and care.
Friendly Suggestions: You could try and make the revelation of Roger's identity more dramatic.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and lucid.
The Plot: A fantasy story about an alien creature who dwells in a cave in a remote island. The creature possesses a rare gem in which he can see events occurring far away. He (using the male proverb thought unsure of the sex) also possesses the power to capture people's dreams.
What I enjoyed? I found the entire setting intriguing and innovative. This is, of course, only the first chapter of a long work, but it certainly has me hooked.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Smooth and lucid.
The Plot:The item description says it all. This is a nice description of a first kiss with a special someone.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the way you built up the entire story. The incident with the firefly was cute. I enjoyed the dialogues and the laughter. The man's tentativeness and clumsiness was endearing. The end was delightful. This girl is certainly one who knows what she wants.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Extremely well-written. The language is smooth and lucid. You definitely have a gift.
The Plot: A young boy finds great thrill in putting on his mother's clothes. He gets bolder and ventured quite some distance from his home.
What I enjoyed? I don't have the right word to describe your main lead's mental state. Is it a kink or some sort of depravity or pure perversion? Given the fact that he seems to be harmless, we can only categorize it as his fantasy. We all have ours own. Instead of being judgmental, it is better to go with the flow and indulge yourself as long as you do not cause pain or misery to anyone. I could also identify with his consternation on knowing that he has been captured on camera. We all have our fantasies but are not sufficiently bold to be absolutely brazen and open about it. Perhaps, that is what separates us from the insane.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story written entirely in dialogue form that delineates a normal day in the life of a couple. It describes the humdrum activities which can lead to a sudden altercation between couples.
What I enjoyed? I found the story humorous and amusing. It is amazing how couples squabble and make up and again end up fighting and reconciling. The most unexpected and inane events can lead to a major showdown. Here, I felt that Sandy was spoiling for a fight. But that it is my point of view, and I hasten to add that I am a male.
Friendly Suggestions: Ted should think of any other reason for a surprise party. A birthday party sounded contrived. Maybe, it was the prompt for which this story was written.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: easy to understand but some of the places could read better by using punctuation marks.
The Plot: An essay on a dream which many women harbor - of a knight in shining armor who will come and sweep them off their feet.
What I enjoyed? I liked the unique interpretation you make of this dream. You show us the practical side (problematic ones) of this dream. You could consider another take also. A knight in shining armor is essentially a soldier. And if he is an object of a woman's desire, it goes without saying that he must also be a murderer. Yes, a murderer of enemies but that would still make a murderer. Would a woman like to live with and love such a man?
Friendly Suggestions:None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Could be smoother. The places where you tell us Teresa's thoughts do not flow well. I understand that you might be attempting to replicate Teresa's muddled thinking given her miserable circumstances but you might want to rework some of the places and use complete sentences.
The Plot: A sinister story of a woman who is held captive by a some sort of a demonic creature.
What I enjoyed? The idea is unique. The metallic objects on which Teresa falls made me curious to know what they actually were. What a revelation they turned out to be!
Friendly Suggestions: Some grammatical errors could be corrected. Some examples:-
You write: it had been ages since had last stood up.
Suggestions: it had been ages since she had last stood up.
You write: and each intake of breath meet a jarring stab of pain from beatings to her torse and abdomen.
Suggestion: and each intake of breath met a jarring stab of pain from beatings to her torso and abdomen.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story of an eccentric neighbor who indulges in a peculiar pastime.
What I enjoyed? I could guess that this was written for a prompt pertaining to including certain keywords which have been highlighted in bold font. Your story was intelligent, innovative and interesting. You used the keywords weel. The end was humorous.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
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