I really liked it! Your story was compact with no wasted words and right to the point. I didn't see the little twist at the end coming and it added to the overall.
Excellent!!! You've captured the want, the lust and the sexual pleasure of your characters. Being a male, I would naturally enjoyed some more description of your nameless female, The interaction of your characters afterwards was well done - believable.
I really did enjoy reading your story. I can offer a few tips. Make your paragraphs at least 3 sentences to improve flow. After introducing you characters, you could use just pronouns - he/she.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/r.stephen
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 5:38pm on Nov 18, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
