Awesome! I really enjoyed this, mostly because I love the creamy purple milk leftover from a bowl of Captain Crunch Berries! I love all the things you made me remember and want. You have a talent and this is a great place to use it! Welcome to Writing.com!
I really enjoy your message here, especially when you get towards the end. You have a certain voice to your writing that is enjoyable. This is why you should keep free style writing. One thing.."the phobia of getting up to use the restroom because you'll feel ike if you're going to get pulled out of your comfort zone and taken under your bed with all the other innocent witnesses." This reads better if you remove the "if" in front of You"re. Or you could say feel as if.. Great work though, please keep writing, and welcome to writing.com.
I would not change anything on this! I love it. Your words are carefully placed together and in good time. They cause the reader to think and ponder. My favorite was the last two lines of verse one. I love the hidden meaning of putting in the work. I always enjoy your poetry.
I love this! Its endearing to me how "little Speck" sounds kind of rude, but in your poem it is displayed as royalty almost. Miracles happen everyday and I love poems and stories about them. It gives people hope in their own lives. Thank you for choosing to share your miracle!
I like the humor in this. I hate mosquitoes but they love me! So I could relate to this. I like how you captured the reader right off the bat getting straight to the point. This was fun to read. Great Work! Welcome to Writing.com!
I liked your poem a lot. I enjoyed the message your bringing here. You have a creative way of getting the reader to visualize what is happening. I love the first two lines of every verse because you made me feel as I could really see these people going day to day. I thought it was creative and visual. Nice work! Welcome to Writing.com.
This was so much fun to read. I didn't think someone eating a grapefruit could be so interesting but you delivered it in such a story telling way I had no choice but to love it. I could imagine him eating the grapefruit and enjoying it more than anything!! Great Work on this one.
I love Haiku!! This is very thought provoking. I loved it. It's in perfect time for fall. I can just vision the drops of frost covering for the first time of the year. I also thought Chilled Kisses was an excllent choice of words to describe it! This was very vivid and full of nature and I enjoyed reading it.
This was very good! I would change nothing about it. You were describing a man but in a sense you were describing yourself! I enjoyed reading all the different ways you believe a man should be. I was smiling while reading the whole thing! I thought it was honest and truthful and I love how you included God as the main part about being a man. Great Work!
Oh my gosh this was so funny at the end!! Lol! I enjoyed this one out of all of yours. I was right there with you at the disco and going down memory lane with you, then you pulled out the getting old card and the humor smacked me in the face! It was kind of sad in a way also, longing for youth again! Great work on this one. It's my favorite!
I like the way you wrote this as a poem and a story. I was waiting to see what would happen yet I already knew. You built the suspence up nicely and ended with a thud. This flowed very nicely and I enjoyed reading every word. I am glad you put the refrence at the end though! Great Work!
This is a great way to describe a friend!! I loved this! I felt the relationship you have with him in every word. I love how he was troubled as a child, yet turned his life around to be a loyal family man. I was impressed with the way I got to know Leonard through your words! Great Job!
I like how you have a symphony of images and sound enrapture the character wanting to escape in this. I believe you have a good start to a great poem. I like what I read so far. I like the images it put in my head of everything crashing around. Great Work!
I loved it! This made me laugh, only because anytime I bowl I go on luck alone!! Skill has nothing to do with me!! I gave you five stars because there is nothing I would change about this. You described something you love to do perfectly. Simple thoughts on bowling turned into a poem, it was very creative! Great Work!
First of all I know how hard it is to write personal issues and past demons of your life, but then I also know how theraputic it can be. This took courage and grace and both of those things poured gracefully throughout this piece. I was floored as I took a glimpse into your life through such carefully placed and ryhming words. This took true talent. It's hard to tell a story in a poem, especially your own. I love how you saved the truth for the end. While reading your imagining a story and then you get to the end and are told it's real. This was the best part to me. It gave me chills. I believe you are a gifted writer and I look forward to reading more from you.
I read your poem several times over and each time I got a different feel for what you expressed. I loved it even more the last time I re-read it. It reads great with easy flow. I like the optimistic view it puts on life and searching for where you belong! My favorite verse was the fifth one. I related to it the most!! Great Work as always!
I loved this!! I love how you described being trapped in a hollow shell afraid to come out and deal with the feelings. There is nothing in this I would change. I found it to be romantic and bittersweet. This gave me chills I could not ignore. Great work!! Please keep writing!
This is an appropriate read for the first day of October. I felt the suffering of the character in this poem within your chosen words. I felt the wanting and needed of release at the end, release from the agony of an asylum. I enjoyed reading this. You held my attention all the way through and this will be one I'll soon not forget.
BEAUTIFUL! Oh my goodness this one put chills down my arms. I really love your style of poetry. There is absolutely nothing I would change, nothing. The last line was my favorite, because it is by God's Amazing Grace, we will be reunited with our loved ones of yesterday!!
There is nothing I would do to change this. I really loved it. The message of taking care of our Earth was put in the poem in a subtle yet powerful way. I love the way it flows with rythmn. It read very nicely. The way it was addresed to the bee was crafty and creative. You have true talent as a writer.
I like how a Poet can write a poem and unleash a ton of secret harsh feelings in a creative and secretive way, all the while making it relate to the reader. You have a talent for this and it shows tremendously in this poem. I felt the feelings of this poem straight through, and they were only stronger because of the easy way your poem flowed and ryhmed. Great Work!
This is a lovely poem!! It reminded me of a poem out of "The Sidwalk Ends". It just had a certain charm about it. I found no mistakes and it flowed beautifully. The rythmn is the best part of it. It kind of danced through my mind as I read it. I also thought the subject of the poem was fun. A secret, invisible friend! I loved it! Great Work!
You have a great story here with a great moral. It had just a few typos. That's the only thing I saw. I enjoyed reading this and I liked the way it ended with him being a better person. Great Work! Welcome to Writing.com. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
I loved this story. It is so true how people get advice about things when they find out what you've been studying at college. This was funny and just a joy to read. I found no grammer mistakes and I loved the way the dialog read. It is one of those stories that puts a smile on your face. Great Work!
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