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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ragewars
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to do everything with a touch of humor, Life is always better with some happy things to think about ^_^
I'm good at...
We'll see I have yet to decide.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, fiction,
Least Favorite Genres
Real life fiction, it bores me. And please no Apocalyptic... No Erotica either.
Favorite Item Types
Something new and exciting, perhaps completely made up ^_^
Least Favorite Item Types
Droll everyday based stories, and school based stuff.
I will not review...
Erotica, Apocalyptic, and a story based completely at school (Please just no...)
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Alzan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I'm not an incredible writer. I will do my best to offer honest and useful feedback that I hope will help with your writing. Remember, it's completely up to you whether you modify anything or not.

*ButterflyB* First Thoughts: What is this thing I'm reading about? *reads part where it "trots" Is this a horse? *reads a little further* A mountain goat? Ohhhhh a pack, maybe its a wolf or a mountain cat... and its a warrior alright! Hmm Morta Sango dogs... doesn't like them... Yeah this animal is probably a mountain cat then. Stops to hunt for Mice... Definitely some kind of cat although I don't recall cats staying in packs... What is this thing? Wouldn't want a meal to weigh you down yeah I understand that. My... Gruesome enemy we have here... What the...? OH this is a DOG we are following here!


*Cool* What tickled my fancy: When Faolin set the cat free. Why? Because it was hard for him to do. I find it very honorable when a character does something even if he/she rather not because its the right thing.


*RainbowL* What you might want to look into: Mention earlier on how Faolin is a dog since its a bit unclear for a while.
The part in brackets about his muscles aching more than ever, perhaps you can remove that and write something like this: Slowly, the sun started to warm my weary muscles as the chill of night faded.


*Sun* When its all said and done: I rather enjoyed it! Thank you very much ^_^ and as always...


Keep it up *BigSmile* !

~Alzan


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If you have the time I would appreciate it if you visit my portfolio I'll be adding stuff soon. Reviews are always appreciated.*MugB*
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