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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rainswithin
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Review by Dolleys Journey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Although I do write short stories I often don't have the time to read them, which is why I mainly r/r poetry.
I enjoyed this story and found it entertaining.
There are only 2 things I would point out. IMO the line "She had the right to." seemed a little off. Perhaps a different wording such as "That was her right."
Also,IMO , although I know it was meant to be descriptive, the wordiness of the piece lost my interest towards the break.
*However* that is just a matter of opinion, and I am often a reader who skips over descriptions to get to "the point".
Overall I found it interesting and compelling.
Great write.
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