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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/raven2
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27 Public Reviews Given
78 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of My Tears, My Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very pleasant and enjoyable read. You've done very very well!

Precious moments put to words

My favourite part """"

"From the time I was a babe
Swaddled in mother’s arms,
My tears were a call to attention;
A love-needed-now alarm """""'

The only stumble I found was the second last verse, it seemed to hesitate there a bit.
Nothing serious, This is your poem and you have done wonderfully!

Keep going, keep living, keep writing!



2
2
Review of I MELT  Open in new Window.
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, if that is a poor effort, I want to see your good ones.

I thourougly enjoyed the writing style, the images, and the wording.
My favourite part would be
"Longing
To see her face
Its eyes of emerald gems
Without its glow
Breathless"
A very moving descriptive verse. Great work!


This piece is put together very nicely in my opinion and I see nothing I could alter to improve it.

Keep going, keep living, keep Writing!!
3
3
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Three typos I fixed, shinning, premise and anxiety



Poems are descriptive words attached to feelings, I like the Term Dark Stars”, but hard to picture them, stars are bright,

"Shinning stars in the dark sky"
I hope you find this a helping hand towards achieving what you want from that Poem


KEEP WRITING
4
4
Review of In The Morning  Open in new Window.
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I see great promise in this work, but it does not match its own style. Some poems do not need flow, and some of yours does, other parts are choppy.
If I had to alter it, and by no means should you if you like it as is.
""Sorry baby, I was living in my past again
Full of shame
Full of sin ""
would become

Sorry baby, I was living in my past again
Drenched in shame and full of sin
consider my opinion just one opinion and Keep Writing, i did enjoy this.

5
5
Review of The Checkout Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A very moving piece, a story told in short sentences, I did notice the line "monotony stales", to me Monotony is stale, and should not be overstated that way, could I offer
"monotony pervails"
Just a suggestion.
An excellant descriptive work.
6
6
Review of True Awareness  Open in new Window.
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Truely well "spoken" words.
The style of the poem, different than I prefer, almost annoyed me, but the message in the words kept me reading.
I thank you for your work!

Keep writing!
7
7
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
That sounds like me!

good job, description and imagery are great.

Thanks for showing me!
8
8
Review of Undeniable  Open in new Window.
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wonderfull!
An amazing testimonial to the one you love. This should be framed in her soul and spend eternity reminding her of the inspiration she has brought you.

Well worded, and carefully thought out pledge of devotion, feel free to send me similiar works, I would gladly read them and "critique" if you want.

Keep posting!
9
9
Review of Fireflies  Open in new Window.
Review by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well written "request"
I see the song like lyrics. I tend to enjoy traditioanl styles more. But I read this twice.
Thanks for posting.

if you care to read one of mine.

 His Angel of the Morning Open in new Window. (E)
Poems are inspired by my love this one is to and for her! read if you like.
#929580 by Raven2 Author IconMail Icon

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