1) Nice poem with a great insight to how depressed people feel and how some become alone. 2) I think you could really use some punctuation to help the poem flow. When I was reading it, I didn't know when to stop and when to let it flow. 3) I think there is still a piece missing from this poem. I feel like it needs something, although I can't tell you exactly what. Maybe a girl or someone who he pushed away. I think that would kind of make it more personal and heart felt. 4) Good overall poem, stick with it.
Great brief, poem. I love the imagery of a lover and daisies. Just wanted you to know I really enjoyed it, and I don't see much room for improvement, perhaps you can elaborate upon the same idea in a longer poem.
I like this poem; It's emotionally charged, but it isn't inward. Many people can connect to this terrible feeling of loving someone before they leave.I love the image of the mist. It creates a nice symbol within the poem, although I would have loved to see you reuse and elaborate on it. The idea of leaning on God is relate-able and contributes nicely to the poem. I do think a few punctuation marks would increase its flow and make it easier to read.
This is a great, heart-felt poem about someone you lost. I love the things you use to compare this person to in your similes and metaphors. They help create a strong image in my head.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 10:26am on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.