Very touching and emotional. The total feeling of helplessness overcome by the drive of love appears here. Then when total desparation is about to overcome the answer comes to you. Itis an answer that has been there all along. Right under your nose. This brings to mind the true, sad story in the movie "Lorenzos Oil".
You weren't kidding when you said 'Super Short". It does get its message across. A sad feeling comes on after reading this which I suppose was your intent. The emotions are felt with the trembling smile and the tears. I like the way his thoughts ended.
This is different. I liked the change from a playful thing in the beginning to a monster in the end. Reminds me of the dark sinister realms we have locked deep into our psyche. Still a bit playful to be scary. Peter Pan would not have cared for it though.
I found this very interesting for the fact that I have a hard time with poetry but prose comes natural. I don't have to think when I write prose but with poetry and stories I do. You have shown the great benefits of taking classes and being forced to only accept your best. It made me realize that to move ahead you also need the help of others.
I did find this useful, informative and easily understood. I was excited when the first days even generated reviews then the reviews slowed down and I became concerned. You have answered my concerns. I am still new and a lot of stats don't show anything yet but with this information at hand I will be sure to come back. Thank You!
Very touching and honestly put. Being a father of six girls (one Boy) I have them at all ages (7-26) and feel what you write and have felt it. They grow so fast. Knowing that the time when they're young will disapeer is not an easy task to cope with. Nice Job!
You've captured a lot of my philosophies here. It is so true that you learn so much when writing. I have been writing over twenty years and never cease to learn something and most important I never get board. Most of what I write is spontaneous. I rarely think when I write. It just comes out. The work is proof reading and titleing. Nice piece! Sorry - I tend to jabber.
Sounds like you lost someone you liked and cared for. It was a bit too jumpy and disorganized for me to understand events or feelings. Sometimes when emotions inflict their will on us our minds are jumbled and confused. This is what this prose reflected on me.
The first paragraph scared me a little at first. It seemed a little long but the story kept me interested. Science fiction is something I am not capable of writing well but you do not seem to have this problem. The plot was good as well as the dialog and descriptive details. Nice job.
I really do ebjoy your style. I have been published for pennies and offered a job at local newspaper and found an editor plagerized my samples. Well the publisher took care of the and i recieved an apology. I didn't take the job. Your frustrations are shared (I'm afraid) by many of us.
I enjoyed the ironic realization that many times we tend to follow a path we believe to be leading us the direction we we need to go in our life but only to find out that we have been going the wrong direction. I think it shows that we are not alone in our misguided adventure of life.
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