At first glance, it seems thought provoking until one finishes and thinks on what they read. Then they find that this pierces deep into the idea of life. Playing along, the years get long and times get tough and the thought of changing becomes desirable. Then you change and life derails; not because your change was wrong but because you changed. Because you simplified and threw out the excess, life can feel a tad 'outside'what we live now. That's good but the next challenge is tying back in the important things; by growing can our sacrifice of complexity be worth it.
First of all, thank you. I just lost my uncle this past Friday and I've been trying to find a way to be alright with it. I remembered so many good memories about him in his garden and him cooking eggplant parmesan and saying it was all for me. Oh how I really miss him. You poem is fantastic. It brought back a memory I had lost. My Uncle's Black, Bushy Eyebrows.
I thought you started this out beautifully. You really built it up all the way to the finish and then the excitement sort of dropped and fizzled out. It's good but I don't know if that is how you wanted your poem to end.
I did love the story, but I got really confused on who the narrator of Red Riding Pug was. It sounded like Bug started out reading then Pug was reading, then Bug, then Pug...it got really confusing. The first edit you should think about is who is narrating the book. But after that you have a great children's book. Are you planning to publish?
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