\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rexkramer
Review Requests: OFF
222 Public Reviews Given
222 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm honest but encouraging. I try to suppress the wannabe-grammarian in me, but if an error is so glaring that it distracts the reader I will point it out.
I'm good at...
I read a LOT, and always have. Over the years I think I've developed a "talent" for objectively divining what is good story-telling and what is not (regardless of whether or not the story appeals to me.)
Favorite Genres
Honestly, anything interesting. If it's weird/different, has interesting characters and goes in unexpected places, I'll probably like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Poetry. Quite frankly, it's completely lost on me.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Poetry. Please, no poetry.
I will not review...
Poetry (with the exception of limericks,) juvenile fiction, religion-themed pieces (any religion,) romances, anything cat-related, resumes, or how-to items. Exceptions made if your submission is weird.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next
1
1
Review of Baby Sitting  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Randomly reviewing whatever pops up when I click "read and review"....

Good little short horror story. That the monster was real was telegraphed, but that feeding the monster was the boy's chore was a neat surprise.

Suggestion: take a little time and do a little proofreading; small errors easily distract readers of such short stories. Also, mix in a few synonyms for "brat," as the word's repeated often.

Overall, good job!
2
2
Review of Visions  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Reading whatever randomly pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

I really try to avoid critiquing usual points like plot, conflict, resolution when the subject matter is obviously personal, and so I won't do that here. If I have any criticism at all it's a suggestion to be mindful of tense, as you seem to slip between past and present on a few occasions.

Good job, keep on writing!
3
3
Review of Last Duties  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Reviewing whatever pops up when I click on the "read and review" link...

As penance for not writing for some time, I've decided to review the work of 100 others before I get back to work on my own. Some of it has been, well, pretty bad. Most have been ok. A very outstanding items fell short of 5 stars for just some minor issue. This story, however, is a first.

I have no suggestions, corrections or critiques. It is, quite simply, a perfect example of a well-written bit of flash fiction. Well done.
4
4
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Still reviewing whatever pops up when I click the good ol' "read and review" link...

I'm not really sure how to review a monologue, so the heck with it, I'm not. Consider what follows observations.

First, love the originality of a muse in semi-physical form (at least in one's mind.) Mine seems to be a disembodied voice...or maybe that's just the undiagnosed schizophrenia talking again.) Actually, I'm pretty sure mine is actually me, and, wow, is he a jerk. "Get off your ass and write something!" he screams. Nothing really helpful, or anything resembling inspiration; just incessant nagging and tired inspirational quotes.

But enough about me. I see this item was written in 2004. One wonders if the muse is still around, or is in the same form. Has he moved in, or does he just pop in now and then?

Anyway, this was an enjoyable read. Great job!
5
5
Review of Own Your Mind  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
The mind's an interesting thing, isn't it? For one, it's the only organ aware of its own existence. What are we, but an elaborate life support system for it?

Ok, enough philosophy; one with the review!

You've labelled this a short story, but as it lacks almost all the elements of one, I think another category might be better suited. That said, I won't review it as a short story, but rather as, I don't know. A commentary?

You make some interesting points, and despite allusions to suicide it comes across as almost inspirational. Not enough of that in the world, in my opinion.

I did note a few errors of the typo/punctuation/capitalization type. For example, questions, even rhetorical ones, should end with a question mark. As for the others, I'm certain you'll find them with a quick re-read.

Anyway, thanks for an insightful piece. Good job.
6
6
Review of No Consequences  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up whenever I click the "read and review" link...

Before I get into any criticism, let me say that I really like the premise of this story. First, it's original and, second, it's thought-provoking. Both are major pluses in my book.

Technically, it's sound. No glaring spelling/grammar/punctuation, etc errors were noted. The scene was set, the conflict was clear, and the pace was ok.

It's a (very) short story, and so is limited in its ability to explore its characters. Still, a little insight into the secondary conflict (I consider the criminal's issues with his power to be the first) seems necessary. Specifically, WHY does he want to kill the other man?

Overall, however, a well-done little tale. Good job.
7
7
Review of Masquerade  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

Well, this certainly ended up in an unexpected place, which is always a pleasant surprise. At the outset I thought this might be a story of regret, then maybe a short romantic tale...but nope! Clearly the heroine has no regret, and this transaction was all business.

No dialogue, other than the internal kind. I often struggle with how to get across internal thoughts to the reader, and I like your "flow of consciousness" method rather than structured dialogue.

Overall, a good, fun short read with a neat twist. Well done.
8
8
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up when I click on the "read and review" link....

Well, this is a neat little item. I'd say it was "Sixth Sense"-ish, but to its credit, it foregoes the twist ending by bringing it to the main part of the story. I like it.

Not much to quibble over re: spelling, grammar, etc. I'm pretty sure when you wrote, "I wondered if I knocked off" you meant to include an "it" or "the book." Other than that, no issues noted.

Good, creepy and emotional short story, and a good read. Well done.
9
9
Review of The Closet  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

The story is labelled "horror," and I get that, but...it seems much more of a character study than a scary story (and I mean that as a compliment.) You've done a good job, with few words, establishing Laura's personality, as well as the past incidents that helped form that personality.

Laura comes across as a confident problem-solver, and not the cliched victim one might expect to find in a female subject of a "boogeyman in the closet" type story. I like it when characters go against type.

Overall, a well-written, tight little story with a unique ending. Well done.
10
10
Review of Heavy Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

I really don't have any criticisms regarding this item. It's well-constructed, well-written, and does a great job at creating a vivid scene. It's driven much more by emotion than by action, and dialogue is very limited. As a result the pace is somewhat sluggish, but that seems appropriate given the subject matter.

I do take issue with the summarizing sentence, not from a technical or story-telling standpoint, but rather from the conclusion it draws. My time in the military is long over, and so I'll never be called upon to do what the sailors on the Arizona did. Still, I don't think that's the message memorials are supposed to impart. Yes, we gather there to honor their deeds, but if there are lessons to be learned for the living its that on any given day anyone may be called upon to go beyond what they consider themselves capable. Most of these actions are small, and won't inspire any memorials, but they are nevertheless important to the actor and to those the act benefits.

Anyway, that's my sermon. As I've already said, this was a well-written piece, and I enjoyed reading it. Well done.
11
11
Review of Some Basic Truths  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

As an item, I think your article makes a number of interesting and valid points. However, structurally it seems a tad haphazard in that it jumps around quite a bit. The summary is strong, and gets the point of the article across. The beginning, however, really doesn't set up very well the argument the ending makes.

Now, that's the end of the critique. To belabor the "structure" theme, however, I'd argue that what you call "example" I'd call "structure." That is, those who came before us provided us with a framework. If you're a builder, for example, you can draw upon thousands of plans for a house that provide you with what you need to know to erect that basic structure. What you do with it to set it apart from all the others, however, is where creativity or talent comes in. Yes, we all have the same kind of grey matter, but what separates us, however, are the experiences that fill that matter, get all churned up, and spit out in the form of unique creativity.

Anyway, a good, thought-provoking article.
12
12
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

I see that this is the first item you've posed on WDC, so let me give you some basic advice.

1) Titles: These need to grab the reader's interest, and yours does. However, it's riddled with errors (it should be, "Life and the Way to Live It.")

2) Spacing: Without some kind of spacing, even short items such as this confront the reader as a wall of text.

3) ALL CAPS should be limited to text messages and angry internet comments. Strong words and emphatic punctuation serve the same purpose, and readers will take you more seriously for it..

Moving on...

Identifying your age has pros and cons. Old farts like me will roll their eyes and murmur, "what does a 16 year old kid know about life?" However, others closer to your age might take heed. It's an old credo, but a true one: know (and sometimes intentionally, limit) your audience.

As to the content, it's all good advice. I noticed a few typos and other small errors; another basic bit of advice...one round of proofreading (at least for me) usually identifies the majority of errors before an item is published. The overall message reminds me of an old John Lennon lyric: "Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans."

Overall, a good first effort. Good job, and keep writing!
13
13
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Reviewing whatever randomly pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

So THIS is how zombie hordes get started, huh?

Original premise, which is always a plus with me. One wonders if zombies can read or operate a telephone, but it's really hard to quibble with the specific abilities of non-existent creatures.

I did note one typo (parhaps vs perhaps.) I don't think the target audience of zombies would notice, though.

Overall, a cute and original item. Well done!
14
14
Review of I love you  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Randomly reviewing what pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

This is a cute and original idea. OF COURSE an anthropomorphic box of candied hearts would communicate primarily with the words printed on it, and be so passionate it'd convince someone to commit a crime. Love, after all, makes us do some stupid things.

I assume this was a "dialogue only"-type of contest entry, and so I won't critique based on the lack of scene-setting. There were a few spelling errors/typos (steel vs steal, eyes height's vs eyes' height, etc,) but again, very few.

Overall, I really liked the premise of this story, and laughed a bit at the ridiculous (it is, after all, a box of talking candy) dialogue. Good job!
15
15
Review of Seven Days Left  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Randomly reviewing what pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

Hoo boy, lots of possibilities here. Was the e-mail really sent for the future, or was it a ruse on Gunther's part to snag a date? Or, maybe Roger sent it from the future, hoping to (for whatever reason) un-do his marriage to Cindi? I like stories that have ambiguous motivation possibilities, and this one certainly fits the bill.

Anyway, I enjoyed this read. I only wish I knew what Roger and Cindi's union did to bring about the end of the world.

P.S. I see this item was written in 2006; moon bases and time travel by 2020 might've seemed possible at the time, but maybe it's time to push that date up a bit.
16
16
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Randomly reviewing what pops up when I click the "read and review" link...

I'm not Indian, and so I'm not familiar with the specifics of the country's affirmative action policies. The message of this "satire," however, is familiar to me, as opponents of such policies in the US also attack them with the same premise (i.e. "artificially" creating equality of access to education/employment dilutes society.) I won't argue with the point being made, as this is not a political site. I do, however, think that this is less satire than it is a long-form, politically-incorrect joke one might share among peers when you're certain that no one else is listening.

That said, it's a good, well-written piece. Well done.
17
17
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a very informative article, and tells a story, I imagine, that most are unaware of.

The opening and closing paragraphs bookend the article well, and the main body flows nicely and logically.

One minor quibble; the last sentence in the opening paragraph, specifically "However , those ideas are contagious," was a bit disjointed. Consider re-wording to make it flow better.

Overall, a good and informative read. Good job!
18
18
Review of Monster Justice  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Randomly reviewing items that pop up from the "Read & Review" link...

Ok, this is just weird. Fortunately, I like weird!

I see that this is an older item, and so I find myself wondering if you've expanded this monster world in the years that have followed. Seems like a pretty rich environment for some good story telling.

The story's framework moves the story along: present to (near) past then back to present, and with a twist ending! Regarding that twist, I can't say that I really "got" it, but it kind of has the feel of a soap opera cliffhanger. Now that I think on it, this whole story has the feel of a soap opera. A monster soap opera? Now there's an idea!

One minor quibble/suggestion: I'd consider not identifying the characters by their species, but rather by using descriptions and identifying actions. Let the reader discover for themselves.

Overall, a fun, enjoyable and, yes, weird read. Good job!
19
19
Review of Her Mother's Gift  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Randomly reviewing whatever pops up on the "read and review" link...

What came across most to me that this is a well-written piece for a number of reasons. The scenario is relatable, the characters believable, and the setting and actions vividly described. I like that the story begins and ends with tears, and the way you described the dream sequences.

The ending threw me a bit, I'll admit. I love shocking endings (who doesn't?) but this one seemed a bit...unsupported? It just seemed to come out of nowhere.

Overall though, a good, enjoyable short read.
20
20
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'm not going to critique this story on a technical level, because it seems so heart-felt. I can relate. As the father of 3 kids, and as someone who's a former Catholic and presently non-affiliated non-believer, I've had to cater my conscious (and 3 separate mind-sets) when the inevitable discussion of the, well, inevitable, came up.

By far my favorite (if one can call it that, given the nature of the topic) was with my youngest, my only son. He has Asperger's, and so is extremely literal. I explained to him that life, both here and the hereafter, was like a Lego set. Nothing is truly destroyed, I reasoned, and thus nothing really is destroyed. We're just rearranged in a different form. He nodded his assent, as such an explanation jibed with his world, and off he went to sleep, contented.

If all religions were so simple!

Anyway, there were a few trifling issues I might see fit to mention if I were to look at this with a more critical eye, but you know what? It hit me emotionally, and so I feel ill-equipped to do so. Well done.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
21
21
Review of Summer of 1816  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm always interested in these types of topics. We tend to think of historical events as a) affecting only the noteworthy (as opposed to the "common people") and, b) encased in amber, as if they come about spontaneously and without outside influence. Tambora's a perfect example of this. It affected not only temperature worldwide (some places actually got warmer) but precipitation as well. Food shortages were an obvious result, and whenever there are shortages of food, migrations, consolidations and revolutions occur. Look to our own time, when populations are exploding and the planet is warming (for whatever reason.) Water crises, as a result, are worsening, and food production can't be far behind.

But enough about that. This was a well-written and informative article that made a global catastrophe more local and real. Well done.
22
22
Review of The Line  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think my first year of marriage had more fights than all the years that came after did combined. I can't recall the cause of any of them, but I'm sure they were stupid. So, yeah, this one rings true.

That said, I get it. Filching french fries ain't cool.
23
23
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The big blue ribbon I see attached to this story was well-earned. It's a very original take on the passage of time, and a well-written one at that. Now I have the lyrics to "Cat's in the Cradle" in my head and suddenly feel the need to go spend some time with my son. Excellent job.
24
24
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This story didn't end up where I thought it would (always a good thing,) as I suspected that Elizabeth was stealing story ideas from the main character for her own purposes. Nice twist at the end.
25
25
Review of Crowd  Open in new Window.
Review by Rex Kramer Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
There's an old yarn about Soviet-era Russia. Maybe it's even true. A man stops on the sidewalk in front of a shop for no particular reason. Soon after another man lines up behind. After awhile the lines goes around the block. There is nothing to wait in line for, but people are conditioned.

That's what this reminded me of. We're all lemmings in some way or another.

Anyway, cute story and fun read.
83 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 4 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rexkramer