This is becoming quite an impressive work. Quite literally, I hope this gets published into an actual hardcopy book so I can buy it. ^-^ There was only one, just one, point on the editorial bit that needed to be fixed. It was one word. Right in the first paragraph in the section beneath 1717, the last sentence says, "Located between the bed and table was a small, empty closet [were] his possessions were left next to." "were" should be "where". This could easily have been a quick typo from typing too fast (I do the same quite often so I have to re-read about seven times to catch everything) but it's no major problem. With the rest of the chapter, there really is more suspense building, and the relationship between Alverdine and Kyros is becoming more and more evident. I am itching to read more. ^-^
Absolutely enticing now. There is so much story that just grabs your attention as you continue to read. Bringing Ice and Elteo into the mix has really brought in a lot of interesting possible sub-plots that could take this any number of ways. I am completely enjoying each chapter I read of Weathered Wings. There were only a few editing points required for spelling and word usage, but very minor. The suspense of where each section leaves off gives that thrill and quick pulse that really keeps me wanting more of this story.
There is no doubt, the book is getting more interesting with each paragraph that I read. I thoroughly enjoy this very much. So, again, as I mentioned in the previous review, thank you very much. The only issue I see with this chapter, as in the other, is the small need of a little bit of editing, but the rest of the work is very well written. The description of the characters makes for an interesting difference between peoples. I'm looking forward to more.
The story itself is a well constructed one. It grabbed me right away at the first sentence. I thoroughly enjoyed it. So first off, I'd like to say, much appreciated for posting this chapter. Also, the characters, even for the little of each that you see, seem to be well developed and have their own histories (which I hope the reader learns more of throughout the rest of the book) that really adds depth to them. There were only a few things I noticed that needed a little work. The main thing that drew my attention was the numbers at the beginning of each section, 1208,1242, and 1305. These confused me. I thought they were years at first, which made sense, but with the events in the second section and the third, it seemed like maybe they were times of day seeing as Phoenix even thought of his brother on Lunar Orbit. It may be a better idea to write something like Year 1208 or, if it's time, 1208 hours or something so it seems a little clearer. The only other thing I noticed was just a little more editing for mixed words and correct verbs is needed but there were only three, maybe four, instances where I saw that. Aside from that, the entire thing, like I mentioned earlier, really grabbed my attention and drew me in. I'm looking forward to reading much more of this novel as it is very intriguing and interesting. It adds a nice spin to the Sci-Fi idea of books. It's one of those that is familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time, so it adds a little of the relatable aspect as well as the mystery to it to be interested in what will happen next. Thank you so much for posting this. ^-^
~Rinji Yin
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