A very nice story, the people in the story are very real and you made them interesting. The dialogue between the two sisters and the mother flows naturally. That's a gift, dialogue can be tricky.
Punctuation is really the only thing that I can criticize. When a character is speaking, use " instead of '. And you might want to lose the hyphens, they are a bit distracting.
All in all, it's a good story and very suitable for teens. You are either a very self aware teen yourself or just very in touch with that age group. Good job.
Cute! Very unexpected and a great twist. I really liked this. The dialogue between Laura and the "doctor" flowed very naturally and caught the nervousness of Laura perfectly. I was very surprised by the ending and that rarely happens. Very well done and thank you for sharing!
Very nice! Some excellent imagery. The line comparing the anoraks to wind up toys is great. I love the title 'lord of brambles, king of ferns'. Another great line about the anoraks with the pasty crumbs. This is a strong, good piece that gives a vivid image not only of the dog, but the surroundings.
It was interesting. You wanted to find out what happens to Isabella. The repetition of certain phrases and dialogue kept the story flowing. For a first story, it's good. It's short, but a good story doesn't have to be long.
There are some punctuation issues. There are a few too many commas and some words have hyphens that don't need them. Emerald eyes does not need to be hyphenated. You might want to rethink the comma between poetry and alone. There are also a few extra commas in the line about the classmates growing up and marrying.
You have a nice way of turning a phrase and a vivid imagination. One tiny thing that is a bit jarring. Would friends of the mother wear pretty hats to a funeral? You can get away with fashionable dresses, but you might want to give the women something black to wear.
It's a promising story and I'm glad you shared it. Keep writing, you have a gift.
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