I'd say you're on your way to something good here. A few of the rhymes feel forced, especially in the last two stanzas. I think a ABAB rhyme sheme would have worked better for this type of poem. ABCB makes it harder to flow. Nonetheless, the imagery here was excellent and I enjoyed reading it. Good job.
The emotion here feels very real and this poem had me sucked in from the very beginning. The length was perfect for this subject- not too long, not too short. The flow was flawless as well. Perhaps the best part, though, was the last word. I felt it sealed the story and left me thinking about it.
This was excellent. My brother is gay, so this has always been a personal issue for me. His boyfriend (who is like a brother to me) is named Michael, so that made this especially personal. Only recently has our society become aware of how difficult it is to come out in our society and many people do not even survive high school. The raw emotion you expressed here was perfect. I also liked how, even though it was prose, it flowed in many ways like a poem. I don't usually ask this in a review, but was this based on someone you knew? Or was it all made up? Either way, excellent job.
When I read the title and description, I was expecting something humorous and satirical. I was not expecting something this deeply personal or emotional. In only four paragraphs you managed to capture so much of the human experience that so many people are blind to. I also like that, despite being a letter to god, one doesn't have to be religious to appreciate this, one only has to be human. Good job.
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