I've got to say that this is a wonderful piece. The prose is honest and doesn't try to give more than the piece wants to give. There is good imagery as well, but the description for the first rule was a little hard to sit through. It felt too descriptive for the piece, which mainly focused on the emotion evoking from the simple apartment. I felt like the story would be losing nothing if a few lines of the third paragraph be cut. Other than that, it feels like main idea came across beautifully. Happy writing!
Great poem! I like the point the message of it, but it was confusing to read at times. I think it's because the poems are so prose-based, rather than message-based. At times it sounds forced. Also, poems are more aesthetically pleasing than regular writing pieces, in a way that adds onto the entire work rather than distracts. With this, all the stanzas are lines up so closely without a break between any of them. The spacing of it shows the reader the "voice" of the poem, or how'd they would read it out loud. Without proper use of empty space and division, the poem feels convoluted. Some lines are unnecessary and don't add on anything to the poem, and getting rid of them to create that space would make the poem much cleaner and more straightforward. Happy writing!
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