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48 Public Reviews Given
48 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Comic book logic  Open in new Window.
Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
As I understand it, this is an argument that superheros aren't as good for people as comics would otherwise lead us to believe. It seems to me that this is based on two assumptions:
1. The hero is never beaten by the villain (true with some, but not all comics, eg. in X-Men, the bad guys sometimes win)
2. The hero breaks laws (again true with some, but not all comics, eg. Superman, who if I recall correctly only hurts people in the defense of himself or others, which isn't a crime)


*Cool* WHAT I LIKED

*Star* You've got a solid ground in logic - your assumptions lead to your conclusion.

*Star* Your title is interesting, and the work doesn't disappoint.

*Star* You helped me relate to your arguments with some examples.


*Wink* WHAT I THINK COULD BE IMPROVED

*HalfStar* The sentence in the middle:

"See the problem here is not necessarily that there is a lack of one, but that we don’t seem to understand the concept of this super hero and might not like what they really are."

That's what grabs my attention, and it's the start of your main point. I think it would make a great opening sentence, and almost everything before it could be eliminated or relocated later.

*HalfStar* Even more examples would make it easier to follow your logic.

*HalfStar* I think this would be better tagged solely as political, and not inspirational, since the main message is actually kinda depressing, nor educational, since your argument is based on your own assumptions and not anyone's experience.


*Smile* FINAL THOUGHTS

Right now, your argument is somewhat confusing, but still made me consider it. If you stripped your argument to the bone and then added plenty of supporting examples both from comics and real life, I think it would really knock my socks off.


Keep on writing!
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Heh, this gets very confusing very fast, to the point that it doesn't even make sense after awhile. As a serious piece, it's not funny, but as a funny piece, it's great :P

There are some logic problems in this (for example, defining dreams so that they don't happen while you're on Earth). I'd hate to see the Philosophy papers that lead up to this. Maybe you should take a break from writing XD

Come back soon though!

P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!
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Review of 15 Editing Steps  Open in new Window.
Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a good article. What stands out the most to me is the instruction to get rid of the word "to be." I was confused about why to do that, until I realized that the verb essentially changes actions into descriptions, and therefore creates fat. I normally check for spelling and grammar mistakes when I edit, but this article has given me some ideas on what to look for in the future, and I appreciate it. Keep up the good work :)


P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is brilliant! I've always wondered how often to include "Jack said" after someone says something in a story I write. Now I know I can use it with impunity. I'm grateful for everything you say here. What you said about breaking up the dialogue is very true as well. I know that when I read a book and the dialogue goes on for too long, I get bored and want to see something happen. I think it's worth noting that it goes the other way too. When there's too much description in a story I get bored and want to see some dialogue. I'm not sure that following the editor's opinions is the best way to go, but it's surely a great way to sell entertainment. Thanks for writing this great piece!


P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very interesting article! I've actually written for a college newspaper, so I know what kind of work is involved, but I've never thought about selling articles to various papers around the country (I thought they had staff for that)! I wonder if the strategy you've written really works during a slow economic time like this one. Still, what you've written seems like a very helpful guide. My only question is: letters to the editor don't give out payment, right? It almost seems that way since you wedged the paragraph about Op-Eds and LttE inbetween the two about getting paid. Still, I think this is worth reading, and if you have more good advice, please share it.


P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review of Alive  Open in new Window.
Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an interesting way to write a poem. I like the way you can read the poem from top to bottom or left to right on any side, and I'll definitely remember this as a form of writing. It seems like the poem itself talks about living in a post-apocalyptic area, stricken with bombs, death, and sickness (HIV). I get the feeling you're talking about living, and wanting to not just survive, but really live and feel alive, joyous, and free. Can I assume the Yah you talk about is God?


P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The meaning of this poem seems a mundane to me, but I love the wordplay! The second paragraph made me laugh. It's certainly true that politics aren't intelligent. Interesting piece, with some good advice. I like the rhyming you did with an ABAB scheme. Sticking to that takes a lot of work! I'll remember the last advice about repairing broken schemes, as that's an interesting way to put it.


P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a quite confusing poem. The first half I understand, the legislative irony of congressmen who support earmarks until they think it makes them look bad - but the second half about an essential ingredient seems to say that such earmarks are a lasting monument that working-class people erect to their own existence, and that people who lack the desire for those are cursed to be forgotten by history. I do like the wordplay you use in this poem.


P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I read "Last Stand" before reading this, but it wasn't until I read this that I understood that the person being burned was a girl named Serina. Reading this story I felt like the protagonist must be a girl as well, even though it's ambigious. The way you use first-person POV and ambiguity for the main character makes me think that you intend for the reader to be the main character, and thus imply that anyone without the power to stand up to an entire town full of people would be too afraid of death to do anything except hide if one of their friends were taken away to be killed. I'll definitely remember this story and that theme.

This story is just like its companion in setting, characters, and flow - all are well done. I'm curious about what happens to the protagonist after this is all over.

P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!
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Review of Last Stand  Open in new Window.
Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Since this is a companion piece, I felt that I had to read "Lost in the Flames" before reviewing this, so I did. They're both very short stories, and succinct. I felt like I understood nothing that was going on, except that one person was wrongfully punished, and angry about it. I felt Serina's anger, but also saw her ignorance in this piece. I know from experience that people don't kill others for no reason, especially not healers. It's obvious to me that either she's done something to scare them, or someone else (possibly the chaplain) has given them reason to kill her. But that's all beyond the scope of this story. I can see the theme that people in general fear the unknown, and try to avoid it by any means possible (in this case, killing the different person).

I can absolutely see this happening in middle-ages Europe or colonial America. Your setting is well-done, it's ambiguous that it could be anywhere, but the way people act makes me think middle-ages Europe. The characters are believable, and so is the plot. I'm interested in finding out what happened before all of this.

I liked the way this was written: short and sweet. I'll remember this piece for the theme and actions. Keep writing!

P.S. If you have some free time, please review some of my work as well. Thank you!
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This piece made me feel very sophisticated. The plot is interesting - I want to know what happens to Ivy next - and this chapter flows very well. It's very believable also, especially Ms Harringam. The setting works together nicely. My favorite part so far is when Ivy and Madeleine discuss rumors and Ivy's father's plans to take her to court.

You have very nice flow in this chapter. The consistency of the Victorian speech is good, and your descriptions are excellent. One thing that stood out to me was that near the end, Lord Adelphe's anger comes out of nowhere and then disappears unexplained, with everything going on as normal. I know my family was not like that, and it strikes me as odd. How does Ivy react to her father's sudden explosion? Other than that the way characters react to each other are excellent.

Good job so far - keep writing :)
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Review by Henry George Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Good flow. Some grammar mistakes (e.g. "spoken phrases" should always start a new paragraph). I'm confused why the space between paragraphs isn't constant.

I'm curious to know what the Destroyer's (or any Shadow Seeker's) wings look like, and why they're mentioned, then told to be covered by his cloak. I'm also curious as to why he is both hated and also revered. Do the spikes on his sword come out of the blade, hilt, guard, or all three?

This definitely feels incomplete, since it only introduces characters. I'm ready to read more when I reach the end. One thing thst strikes me about this story is how different the speech is from everything else. It feels strange to read "As an example, he was beheaded, and referenced only as a 'foolish betrayer'. 'Th-there’s this guy...'"

Keep it up :)
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