This story evokes many memories me. You really nailed the essence of Main Street in the sixties. Good job well written good grammar and spelling. I enjoyed this. Thank you Sweet Honesty
This was a good read and most inspiring. Good use of words and cross reference of words that always remain constant. Thank you for sharing your profound lesson. Sweet Honesty
This was a lovely piece. Good flow and good rhyme. The story was so tender. I like your style and your poetry is easy to read. Thank you for the trip to a sad place. Write on Sweet Honesty
This was an interesting story. I found myself reading faster and faster looking to see how it turned out bad. My only disappointment was the lack of information about the actual break of the relationship and her being "kicked to the curb." If this were a chapter in a book if would be fine but as a short story it left me hungry for understanding what happened. You did a great job in telling the tale good grammar good spelling. Nice flow all the way through. I totally enjoyed the read just wanted more at the end. Write on Sweet Honesty.
You have hit upon my favorite pastime walking. All of my poetry comes from my walks in the early morning and have resulted in my first book so I could not pass up the chance to read how someone else felt about it. This is lovely. Good flow. Good images and metaphors. No errors in grammar or spelling. My favorite line, "The sweet soft sound of laughter from
A happy brook." You have the gift my friend. Please stop by my port anytime and take a look at some of my work. Think you will like it. Good job. Write on. Sweet Honesty
This was a nice read. Images were good and rhyme was well placed throughout. An emotioonal chord was struck with your line "Our hopes our wishes like lovers kisses." Very nice. Good grammar and spelling. My favorite line is "Am I the only one who's lonely?" I liked this piece. Good job write on
Sweet Honesty
Thank you for your invitation to review this piece. It would be my pleasure. Remembering this is just my opinion and I am far from a professional writer.
Title: The title was good but I got the impression this is family of wealth and somehow I cannot hear a child coming from money calling her stepfather "stepdaddy" that has a poor southern child sound.
Imagery: The images were excellent. Great use of metaphors. Your descriptions took me there beautifully.
Emotional Chord struck. There was good emotion expressed on both characters' parts. I clearly got her fear and anger and his drunk sadness.
Tone: The tone was good and clear throughout. I found myself wrapped up in the plot quickly.
Spelling and Grammar: Both were excellent.
Favorite Part: Fidelity's realization that she did not want him to join her mother. Good touch.
Overall: I really enjoyed this. My only suggestion would be maybe make FIdelity's age apparent because I found myself wondering about that all through the read. Other than that I could not think of any possible changes you need to make. Great Job.
This is a lovely poem. So heartfelt and tender. The tone is sad but understandably so. Good rhyme and flow. Good grammar and spelling no errors found. Only suggestion I might offer is in the opening stanza to avoid the use of play twice so close I would change one of them. Perhaps "I remember our sharing in the field" this way you avoid repeating the word play. The loss you share is so deep and only one who has lived through losing someone so dear can begin to feel the pain. Thank God for the wonderful memories you have to draw on. Thank you for sharing. Job well done Write On Sweet Honesty.
This is an good read. The word flow is good as is grammar and spelling. The issue you deal with is so compelling and so much a part of today. Bi-Polar people touch many parts of my life and you express the difficulty beautifully. I commend you for dealing well with a difficult friendship. Write on Sweet Honesty
This is a strong piece and well written. The flow is excellent as is the structure. You are a wise chick. Do not know your age but you are to be commended for your choices. Not many when taken with someone make the right choices but you had the strength and the poem clearly shows that. Good job. Write on. Sweet Honesty
This was a hit for me. The word flow was wonderful and your choice of the story line was nicely aligned with the season of fall. Good grammar good spelling. I think we have to come to that time in life to get your message. Me, I am there and I feel the emotion you express so beautifully.. Thank you for sharing. Many more falls to us both. Sweet Honesty
I enjoyed this read. It was clear and easy to move through. I admire your use of dialog throughout. That is my weak point and I think I can learn from you. Excellent grammar and spelling. Good characters images were clear. Thank you for sharing your experience with yet another newbie. Write on
Sweet Honesty
You have struck a note with this reader of your work. I loved this. I too have a bi-polar loved one and can identify with every word. Good flow of words very heart felt. None can understand that sting you speak of unless their little girl or little boy has flung the arrow of their anger. Nice job. You have a wonderful gift. I would love to have you review one of mine one day. Write on. Sweet Honesty.
Wow, this was a beautiful piece. It had a nice flow good rhyme and the story was a truism. Whether another child or another friend replacement can be brutal to the one being replaced. There was a great deal of heart in this and made me appreciate my little dog all the more. They can be so devoted we should never forget that. I just loved this poem. Nice job. Write on Sweet HOnesty
This is a beautiful poem. So well done visually. I could close my eyes and see it all clearly. You are so gifted . The flow was beautiful and my favorite line was "Waltz in the cold autumn wind". Just lovely. Thank you. I look forward to your reviews in the future. Your style is something I aspire to. Sweet Honesty.
Dear Grandma, you did a nice job with this piece. You told the story clearly and I can identify with the way you describe your feelings for I too am a grandmother. Sounds like you made some serious improvements to your two cherubs and good for you. My two are 14 and 10 and so I understand the challenge. Good grammar and spelling and good imagery . You struck an emotional chord with the final sentence and my favorite. Also I love the title. All in all job well done. Write on. Sweet Honesty
Imagery: Vivid and easily imagined with the descriptions you used.
TONE: Curiosity was mine right from the title and held me all the way through.
Spelling and grammar no errors.
Overall; This was a good piece. The flow was good and your details made the story all the more interesting.
Your ending came as a surprise and I am sure that is exactly what you wanted. Good Job. Write on
Sweet Honesty
This was a good read. You held me right from the start. The opening sentence was a grabber and made me want to keep reading. The flow was good and the images were good. Nice job. Write on Sweet Honesty
Emotion: Struck a chord for me having a grandson who is fighting the crazies and being Bipolar. I could hear you clearly.
You had a depth of feeling which was good.
Spelling and Grammar: No errors
Overall: This was brief but to the point. Job well done. Write on. Sweet Honesty.
This was beautifully said. So true on every level. I too have often wondered at the very same things. Grammar and spelling were good piece flowed beautifully. You covered it with a thorough net. I really enjoyed this. I have often changed my route when traveling just to get off the highway and enjoy God's gifts. This time is so short and we spend so much of it running through its's portals. Thank you my friend nice reminder. Sweet Honesty
This was a good read. You gave a great deal of thought to detail . I might mention something that works well for me and you could possibly give it some thought. I try to keep my lines the same amount of syllables to keep the flow smooth. This had good grammar and spelling and the story was clear. Nice job. Write on. Sweet Honesty.
You have touched on a subject near and dear to my heart. Nicely written good spelling good grammar. Word flow was great and all points were taken and clear. You might want to take a look at one I just wrote about Mean People . I think you would really get it. Thanks good job. Write On. Sweet Honesty.
This was good free verse poetry. Nice flow of words and well written. Left a great deal to the imagination. I liked the walk. Thank you. Write on Sweet Honesty
What a lovely tribute to a child who means so much to you. Beautifully said. You express an emotion that is so dear to my own heart. I have two little men who are each in different corners of my own heart and they are growing way to fast. I remember their first years and I can only say that this love just gets bigger and better every day. You pictures are also wonderful in their progression. I look forward to working with you in the future. Nice job. Write on. Sweet Honesty
This is a tribute to motherhood. You have said it to perfection. Well done good word flow precise message and made me smile. I love it. Good rhyme factor Nice job. Write on. Sweet Honesty
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