You have developed an interesting twist on the origin of the Cheshire Cat from "Alice and Wonderland." You have developed a good plot from rising action to climax and hence falling action. Your characters have some dimension. A couple areas of improvement might be suggested, however. First, there needs to be a bit more to help us understand the Cheshire Cat is only a kitten. The reader needs to believe even though the cat has wisdom from birth, it is still only a kitten and, therefore, gullible in life. You might, then, work a bit more on the weak areas of being the Cheshire "Kitten." Second, it would be good to spend a bit more time foreshadowing what is to come. when I found out the second raven was the brother of the first and the Cheshire Cat was being used as a pawn, I had to go back to find where that piece of information may have been introduced. I did not find enough of the "who" and "why" to make a difference. All-in-all I think you have a good story going. The twist on the Cheshire Cat and how he received his magic of disappearance makes for a good telling. Good luck as you rework the story.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rpappotte
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 12:00am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
